To My Wife with Love

Allen Appel

St. Martin's Press

To My Wife With Love
Thanks, Dear, FOR ...
Going out with me that first time.
Going out with me the second time.
Choosing me when there were plenty of other guys to choose from.
Finding me interesting.
 
Finding me attractive.
 
Not making fun of my proposal.
Accepting my proposal.
Agreeing to marry me even after you met my mother.
Being a beautiful bride.
Not being jealous of my former girlfriends and/or wives. Believe me, none of them did, could, or ever would hold a candle to you.
 
Being endlessly fascinating.
Talking.
 
Listening.
 
Being glad to see me.
Being good company.
Participating.
Participating enthusiastically in activities I like to do that you might not be naturally inclined toward.
Caring and consoling. Even tough guys like me need it every once in a while.
Being nice, even when I'm in a bad mood.
Being nice when I need a kind word.
Being patient.
 
Being kind.
 
Giving me the benefit of your wisdom.
Sometimes I don't act like I appreciate it, but I do.
 
Cleaning the house. I know I could do more in that area and I'm going to try really really hard to help out.
No, really. Honest.What are you laughing about?
 
Cooking for me.
Cooking for my family when they come over. And don't pay any attention to what my mother says, she doesn't mean it.
 
Cooking things that I like but you're not crazy about.
 
Cooking year in, year out, and never (hardly) complaining about it.
 
Cooking some of the things my mom used to cook.
Putting up with my cooking.
 
Having faith in my ability to fix household items, even though it usually isn't warranted. It's this kind of blind faith that keeps men going.
Doing most of the shopping. Okay, all of the shopping.
Putting up with my snoring.
Putting up with my weird relatives.
Putting up with some of my friends that I know you don't care for. They're not going to lead me astray. Honest.
 
Not seeming to mind my lack of hair.
Saying you're sorry.
 
Not rubbing it in when you're right and I'm wrong.
 
Accepting my apologies.
Forgiving me.
Forgiving me again. And again.
Hearing me out.
 
Knowing what I mean, even when it's not what I say.
 
Being nice even when I'm a jackass.
Discussing things reasonably, even when I'm not being reasonable.
 
Sticking with me, even when you think I'm doing something foolish.
Not stopping me when I'm about to do something you think is foolish.
 
Stopping me when I'm about to do something incredibly foolish.
Not telling my secrets.
 
Suffering in silence.Most of the time.
 
Not rolling your eyes at me. Too much. I know I do goofy stuff sometimes.
Deferring to me when I'm right.
 
Deferring to me when I'm wrong but need the ego reinforcement. (It's a Man Thing.)
 
Not doing what you sometimes must feel like doing.
Not harboring grudges(at least not for long).
 
Keeping me on course. Gently. Sometimes even a man as wise as I needs a good navigator.
 
Not making fun of my brainstorms.
Not dragging up past brainstorm failures.
 
Participating in some of my wackier Participating in some of my wackier brainstorms.
Giving me advice about my work. I don't always take it, but I always consider it carefully.
 
Taking care of me when I'm sick.
Taking care of me when I'm not really sick but just feel like having someone take care of me. It never lasts for long.
 
Repairing me when I'm injured.
Not saying, "You're too (old, fat, out-of-shape) to be ..." doing whatever I was doing when I injured myself.
 
Not criticizing my driving.
 
Not making me stop and ask for directions.
 
Not making fun of me when I get us lost.
 
Not treating me the way some of your friends treat their husbands.
Treating me like royalty.
Being proud of my accomplishments, even though they may be small.
Your sense of humor.
 
Making me laugh.
 
Sharing a good laugh.
Remembering my birthday.
 
Giving me presents.
Giving me presents that I actually like.
 
Not being too hard on me when I forget: Birthdays Anniversaries Sizes
 
Letting me do things I like to do without giving me grief. Usually.
Not complaining (too much) when I buy important electronic devices even though you think we don't need them.
 
Nagging, when it's important.
 
Not nagging when it isn't.
 
Giving me time to myself.
 
Letting me have nights out with the guys.
Being fairly reasonable when things get a little out of hand.
Being the designated driver.
 
Being the designated driver even though we agreed that it was my turn.
 
Listening to my stories, even though you've heard them all before. And still laughing in all the right places.
Understanding.
 
Pretending to understand, even if you don't.
 
Helping me pick out my ties.
Helping me pick out clothing in general. You know how much I hate shopping for my own stuff.
 
Taking great care of me even though I don't deserve it.
Making me go to the dentist, get my hair cut, go to the doctor, and all the other things I don't like, but ought, to do.
Carrying more than your share of the load.
Sex. Everything about sex.
 
That first time.
Showing me what you like (and don't like).
 
Being romantic.
Surprising me.
Being so delectable.
Being such a babe.
Being enthusiastic.
Seducing me.
Cheerfully indulging my fantasies.
Actively participating in my fantasies.
Not minding if I look at the ladies, because you know I'd never touch.
Keeping fit. For both of us. Or at least thinking about it. We'll start soon.
Always smelling so nice.
Always looking nice. To me you are always beautiful.
 
Still admiring me after all these years.
Being proud of me.
 
Being my friend.
 
Making me happy. Keeping me happy. Being happy.
Your faithfulness to me.
 
Your faith in me.
 
Your faith in the two of us.
 
Loving me.
 
Forever.
Copyright © 2002 by Allen Appel.