Welcome to the story of my life.
Let’s start with the basics.
Like who am I?
Oh, I know you know I’m the comedian who came up with “Here’s Your Sign” and that I’m a member of the “Blue Collar Comedy Tour” and TV show. I’m the one who’s not Jeff, Ron, or Larry the Cable Guy. Yeah. That one. That’s me.
But who am I really?
That’s what I’m about to tell you. I’m a little nervous because I know what’s coming. I’m about to reveal some stuff that’s very personal, a little bit embarrassing, and sometimes kind of strange. I think there’s a decent chance you’ll chuckle once or twice. You might even tear up. Hopefully not at the same time.
Now, a couple things you should know about me before we get started.
First, I’m unbelievably normal. Unlike many comedians and serial killers, which my dad considers the same thing, I don’t come from a screwed up, crazy family. I was never smacked around, molested, or locked in a fruit cellar. Sorry. I’m pretty much the boy next door, the kid riding his bike down the street, the guy on the other side of the classroom. Okay, I’m the one with the chalk up my nose, but only because the teacher’s putting me to sleep and I’m trying to amuse myself until the bell rings. So that’s me. You know me well. You’ve hung out with me after school, gone to the movies with me, played ball against me, and if you’re a girl, you’ve probably ignored me.