Ruth Nemzoff

Ruth Nemzoff

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Ruth Nemzoff

Ruth Nemzoff is the author of Don’t Bite Your Tongue, and a popular speaker on the topic of parenting adult children and family dynamics, including at the AARP. Ruth was profiled or interviewed for many national and local papers and radio and television, including The Boston Globe, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Jewish Advocate, and InterFaith Family. She is a resident scholar at Brandeis University's Women's Studies Research Center, and lives in Boston, MA.

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Q & A

Tips from Dr. Nemzoff for Communicating with your Adult Children

Know the environment: Things ain’t what they used to be so make sure you know the realities of life today.


Know yourself:  What are your motives? Your child, brilliant psychologist that all children are, will assess your motives so you should, too.


Give up fantasy and deal with reality: You may want life and your children  to be perfect, but it isn’t and they aren’t , so enjoy what you have.


Take the long view: Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will your children or grandchildren be fully mature in a day or even a year…


Expect the unexpected and be flexible enough to change plans.


Don’t bite your tongue, but don’t blurt out every thought you have.  Instead of using energy to squelch yourself, use that energy to figure out how to say what you want to say so it can be heard.


Be forgiving: We all make mistakes, all of us are rude sometimes or unintentionally hurtful. Forget holding a grudge!


Talk to your kids about money, yours and Thiers. So you both know what is available for future crises.


Don’t play “go between”  between your kids or your kids and your spouse. Now that you are all adults, kids can and should create their own individual relationships with siblings and each parent.


Get a life! Now that your children are grown, share whatever wisdom or skills you have with someone. Make the world a better place.


by the author

Don't Roll Your Eyes

Ruth Nemzoff
Palgrave Macmillan Trade

More than two million couples wed every year in the United States, bringing together a whole new family unit. The extended family may now include a hard to...

Available In:

Book eBook
Don't Bite Your Tongue

Dr. Ruth Nemzoff
Palgrave Macmillan Trade

Parents make enormous sacrifices helping children become healthy and autonomous adults. And when children are older, popular wisdom advises parents to let go,...

Available In:

Book eBook