About the Author(s)

Celia Rivenbark

CELIA RIVENBARK is the author of Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like A Skank, We're Just Like You, Only Prettier and Bless Your Heart, Tramp. She lives in Wilmington, North Carolina

photo: Erin Whittle

Visit Celia Rivenbark's Website

Excerpt

Chapter One

"I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change!"

For weeks, we’d told the real estate agent that we were just bat-shit crazy about contemporary homes. Hubby and I drooled over the cheap, sleek Scandinavian crap in the Ikea catalogue. I imagined wearing all-black or all-white outfits and hosting pristine dinner parties where everyone had a white plate with a single perfect olive on it and nothing else.

View Entire Excerpt