Tired of dates that leave you with nothing but a $150 dinner tab, a doggy bag, and blue balls? Enter Cook to Bang, a guide to wining, dining, and sixty-nining for cooks who don’t know their asparagus from their elbows. It offers a history of Cook to Bang seduction throughout the ages, tips for setting the bait, the best menu for each “sexual profile,” methods for creating a sexy-time vibe, and a game plan for how to make your move. Born from the popular Web site, Cook to Bang is an everyman’s guide to cooking your way into your date’s bed.
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The douche bags drop their douchiest barroom pick up lines. The Cook To Bang Guy schools them using his charm and culinary prowess.
The Cook To Bang Guy helps the douche bags realize they are in fact douche bags.
The douches crash and burn at a fancy restaurant. The Cook To Bang guy kills it by cooking to banging.
SPENCER WALKER has been a sous-chef and a private chef, and he has worked for the renowned Los Angeles catering outfit The Kitchen for Exploring Foods. Renee Russo once declared his lamb chops “orgasmic.” He has been a creative executive for Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network and has written television episodes for Warner Bros., Nickelodeon, and Disney.