Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank

And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom

Celia Rivenbark

St. Martin's Press

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Celia Rivenbark’s essays about life in today’s South are like caramel popcorn---sweet, salty, and utterly irresistible
 
Celia Rivenbark is a master at summing up the South in all its glorious excesses and contradictions. In this collection of screamingly funny essays, you’ll discover:
* How to get your kid into a character breakfast at Disneyworld (or run the risk of eating chicken out of a bucket with Sneezy)
* Secrets of Celebrity Moms (don’t hate them because they’re beautiful when there are so many other reasons to hate them)
* EBay addiction and why “It ain’t worth having if it ain’t on eBay” (Whoa! Is that Willie Nelson’s face in your grits?)
* Why today’s children’s clothes make six-year-olds look like Vegas showgirls with an abundance of anger issues
* And so much more!
Rivenbark is an intrepid explorer and acid commentator on the land south of the Mason-Dixon line.

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Book Excerpts

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Chapter One 
There’s Always Tomorrow(land)
 
“If You Really Loved Me, You’d Buy Me Pal Mickey”
 
Studies say that children don’t remember all that much, and certainly nothing good, until they are at least six years old. So there was no way we were going to waste hundreds, perhaps millions, of dollars on a family trip to Disney World until Sophie could remember in minute detail what wonderful, generous parents we were.
 
That said, the trip was finally scheduled, and we began to anticipate five days and four nights of fabulous forced family fun, fun, fun!

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Reviews

Praise for Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank

"This is a hilarious read, perhaps best enjoyed while eating Krispy Kremes with a few girlfriends."
--Publishers Weekly
 
"She kills in the ''Kids'' and ''Southern-Style Silliness'' sections, putting the fear of Mickey into anyone planning a trip to Disney World."
--Entertainment Weekly
 
Praise for Celia Rivenbark and We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier

“Will give you a case of the giggles.”
--New York Daily News

“Warm, witty, and wise, rather like reading dispatches from a friend who uses e-mail but still writes letters, in ink, on good paper.”
--St. Petersburg Times

“Even diehard Yankees will appreciate this wickedly funny collection.”
--Dallas Morning News

“North Carolina doesn’t have a post for a ‘humorist laureate,’ but it should invent one and install Celia Rivenbark.”
--Greensboro News & Record

“I thought I was Southern until I read Celia Rivenbark’s book....What a funny, smart, and irreverent writer she is!”
--Lee Smith, author of The Last Girls

"Laugh-out-loud funny.”
--Cleveland Plain Dealer

“A collection of essays by a woman working in her element…Rivenbark writes with that breezy, irreverent allure that makes so many of these belles legendary.”
---Blue Ridge Business Journal

“An edgy Erma. An Erma dipped in corn-bread batter, wrapped in collard greens, and drawling that she was speeding because ‘my uterus told me to.’ ”
--The Tennessean

“A hoot and a holler.”
--Boston Herald

“I laughed so hard reading this book, I began snorting in an unbecoming fashion.”
--Haven Kimmel, author of A Girl Named Zippy

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About the Author

Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark is the bestselling author of Bless Your Heart, Tramp and We're Just Like You, Only Prettier. She lives in North Carolina with her husband and daughter.

Celia Rivenbark

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Available Formats and Book Details

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank
And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom
Celia Rivenbark

e-Book Agency

e-Book Agency
St. Martin's Press
September 2007
e-Book Agency
ISBN: 9781429918817
ISBN10: 1429918810
272 pages
$9.99

Trade Paperback

Trade Paperback
St. Martin's Press
St. Martin's Griffin
September 2007
Trade Paperback
ISBN: 9780312339944
ISBN10: 0312339941
5 1/2 x 8 1/4 inches, 272 pages
$15.99
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