Bless Your Heart, Tramp

And Other Southern Endearments

Celia Rivenbark

St. Martin's Griffin

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From the wickedly hilarious pen of Southern humorist Celia Rivenbark comes a collection of essays that brings to mind Dave Barry (in high heels) or Jeff Foxworthy (in a prom dress).

Step into the wacky world of “womanless wedding” fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing. Learn why the word snow sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else.
Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in Bless Your Heart, Tramp, a hilarious look at Southern---and just plain human---foibles, up-close and personal.
So pour yourself a glass of sweet tea and curl up on the pie-azza with Bless Your Heart, Tramp.

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Book Excerpts

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Chapter One
 
A Mom Looks at Forty
 
Having a baby at age forty, or any age for that matter, is a whopping life-changer. We went from impetuous, “What? A new martini and cigar lounge opens tonight? We are there!” kinda folks to the couple who spends Saturday night at K&W begging our twenty-month-old to please stop spitting creamed corn on our sweatpants.
 
You go from buying pricey bags of mesclun greens to eating iceberg because it’s thirty-nine cents a head this week with your VIC card. Fish sticks find their way into your freezer although nobody, including

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Reviews

Praise for Bless Your Heart, Tramp

“Bright, witty, and warm.”
--St. Petersburg Times

“Hilarious---and right on the money.”
--The Charlotte Observer

“Just when you think Erma Bombeck strip-mined the comedy out of motherhood, Rivenbark shows off some sparkling new gems.”
--The State (Columbia , SC)

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About the Author

Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark is the author of the award-winning bestsellers Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank, Belle Weather, and You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Morning. We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier won a Southern Independent Booksellers Alliance (SIBA) Book Award for nonfiction and was a finalist for the James Thurber Prize for American Humor. Born and raised in Duplin County, North Carolina, Rivenbark grew up in a small house “with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats.” She started out writing for her hometown paper. She writes a weekly, nationally syndicated humor column for the Myrtle Beach Sun News. She lives in Wilmington, North Carolina.

Celia Rivenbark

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Available Formats and Book Details

Bless Your Heart, Tramp
And Other Southern Endearments
Celia Rivenbark

e-Book Agency

e-Book Agency
St. Martin's Press
St. Martin's Griffin
May 2006
e-Book Agency
ISBN: 9781466801103
ISBN10: 1466801107
240 pages
$9.99

Trade Paperback

Trade Paperback
St. Martin's Press
St. Martin's Griffin
May 2006
Trade Paperback
ISBN: 9780312343422
ISBN10: 0312343426
5 1/2 x 8 1/4 inches, 240 pages
$15.99
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