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Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog

The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman

Lisa Scottoline

St. Martin's Press

A hilarious collection of stories from the life of the New York Times bestselling author of Look Again

At last, together in one collection, are Lisa Scottoline’s wildly popular Philadelphia Inquirer columns. In her column, Lisa lets her hair down, roots and all, to show the humorous side of life from a woman’s perspective. The Sunday column debuted in 2007 and on the day it started, Lisa wrote, “I write novels, so I usually have 100,000 words to tell a story. In a column there’s only 700 words. I can barely say hello in 700 words. I’m Italian.” The column gained momentum and popularity. Word of mouth spread, and readers demanded a collection. Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog is that collection. Seventy vignettes. Vintage Scottoline. In this collection, you’ll laugh about: • Being caught braless in the emergency room • Betty and Veronica’s Life Lessons for Girls • A man’s most important body part • Interrupting as an art form • A religion men and women can worship • Real estate ads as porn • Spanx are public enemy number one • And so much more about life, love, family, pets, and the pursuit of jeans that actually fit!


BOOK EXCERPTS

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WHY MY THIRD HUSBAND WILL BE A DOG (Chapter 1)

Of Dogs and Men

I'm old enough to remember Ozzie and Harriet, which means that my idea of the nuclear family was born in the 1950s and never quite grew up. By that I mean, a family has a Mommy, a Daddy, and two kids. And a dog.

Run, Spot, run!

We all know that the nuclear family has changed, but what's interesting to me is that nobody has just one dog anymore.

I'm not sure when it started, but all of the people who used to have a family dog now have family dogs. I myself have a full herd--three golden retrievers and one Pembroke

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  • Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog by Lisa Scottoline--Audio Excerpt

    Listen to this audiobook excerpt and hear Lisa Scottoline read from her book Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman, a hilarious collection of stories from the life of The New York Times bestselling author of Look Again. This one's for you, extraordinary ordinary women everywhere! It's time for seriously hilarious girl-talk with Lisa Scottoline. She's shared this collection of scenes from her real life, and she bets her life sounds a lot like yours . . . if you crave

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REVIEWS

Praise for Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog

“Scottoline savors every last bit of her life, and so will you.”—People magazine

“Plunging into home improvement frenzy, constructing a chicken coop, figuring out mystifying insurance policies and how not to die at the gym are some of the conundrums this ordinary woman faces with verve and wicked humor, especially how her beloved dogs have contentedly replaced the romance in her life.”—Publishers Weekly

“Scottoline takes the fodder of everyday life and offers witty reflections from a female perspective.”—Booklist

“…shrewd, tart, sensitive and hard to resist.”—Kirkus Reviews

“She has compiled about 70 of the funniest, smartest and most poignant dispatches into one deliciously exuberant collection. What really makes this collection so addictive is Scottoline's way of capturing everyday moments, dissecting them and coming up with unexpected and slightly off-kilter observations about life."—Book Page

In the Press

Nonfiction Review: Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman by Lisa Scottoline / Author . St. Martin's $21.99

Brief, punchy slices of daily life originally published in her Philadelphia Inquirer column allow novelist Scottoline (Everywhere That Ma

- Publishers Weekly

Reviews from Goodreads

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  • Lisa Scottoline

  • Lisa Scottoline is the New York Times bestselling author of novels including Look Again, Lady Killer, Think Twice, Save Me and Everywhere That Mary Went. She also writes a weekly column, “Chick Wit,” with her daughter Francesca Serritella, for The Philadelphia Inquirer. The columns have been collected in My Nest Isn’t Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space. She has won an Edgar® Award and Cosmopolitan magazine’s “Fun Fearless Fiction” Award, and she is the president of Mystery Writers of America. She teaches a course on justice and fiction at the University of Pennsylvania Law School, her alma mater. She lives in the Philadelphia area.

  • Lisa Scottoline © Deborah Feingold
    Lisa Scottoline
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Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog

The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman

Lisa Scottoline

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FROM THE PUBLISHER

St. Martin's Press

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