Walking West
Chapter 1
"BREAK OF DAY," Alice Muller said to herself as she stood at the kitchen window and poured a second cup of coffee.
Alice had arisen in the dark. Today dawn did indeed seem to break in upon her while she worked. Alice was aware of no slow graying, only the end of the last night and the start of the first day, as if this morning had no time for a sentimental entry.
Through the window, Alice could see Henry in the yard loading the big wagon. Yesterday he had half-loaded the supply wagon they'd be sharing with the Halls and taken it over to their farm.
She finished her coffee, wiped out the tin cup and the coffeepot with a cloth, and tucked them into a wooden box on the floor. It was the last kitchen utensil to be packed. Already inside were a Dutch oven, a camp kettle, the rest of the tinware, a rolling pin, a bread pan, a frying pan, and a milk can. These few things and an open fire were to be her kitchen for the next six or seven months. Alice lifted her eyebrows in resignation.
She had stopped arguing months ago. If you could call arguing Henry's silent forbearance of her repeated comparisons of the virtues of their well-groomed Indiana farm to the uncertainties of California. She finally saw that good sense and wifely pleas were poor opponents to the alluring tales of western lands Henry had been accumulating from newspapers. Ideas built slowly in Henry, like stalagmites, but once established, they were unshakable. More impulsive men had beenmaking the overland journey to the free land and gold fields of the far West for several years, but it was only now, in the spring of 1852, that Henry had determined the time was right for him.
"It will be the end to hard winters," Henry had said to her. "And we can hold far more land, and richer, by what everyone says, than here. It'll be a better, healthier life for the children, more prosperous, now and later. For us, too. And think of the sights we'll see!"
It would not be Alice's first move. When she married, she was transplanted from her parents' Philadelphia town house to the farm in western Pennsylvania Henry had newly cut from a generous corner of his father's land. That move, though a significant change, was one every young woman was expected to make without hesitation or, at least, without outward regrets, and Alice was determined to be a good wife from the outset.
They spent four years in the little cabin in the woods; Sarah was born there. Alice never got used to the darkness; Henry had not put in enough windows, nor razed enough trees. It always appeared, inside that house, to be five o'clock on a cloudy evening. Alice sometimes thought that Sarah's quiet, in-turning nature came of having been a baby and a toddler in that dim cabin and shaded yard.
Henry had never been truly content there, either. The farm remained in his mind his father's land, and though Henry was on cordial terms with his father, it seemed to Alice that Henry was somehow distrustful, even disapproving, of the old man. In any case, Henry was not comfortable being beholden to anyone. So he gave their farm to a younger brother who was planning to marry, and they set out for Indiana, along with another of Henry's brothers, sixteen-year-old John.
John had been living with them since he was fourteen, and before that he was at their place nearly every evening for supper, after his chores at his father's place were done. Alice helped him with his schoolwork. He would have got none ofthat at home. His father was illiterate, and among the motherless crowd of brothers and sisters, none had patience for John's slow ways. In truth, it was Henry and not Alice who drew John, but Alice didn't mind. The ease and joviality between the brothers was a pleasure to be around. They were of such like minds, at times one could finish the other's thought.
Henry had told Alice they must leave Pennsylvania before more babies came. Henry believed bringing forth children on a piece of land was a way to claim it and a way it claimed you. Alice was not sorry to go.
Alice built a most agreeable life in Indiana; she had friends, and she was always busy. The new house was more airy. There were many fewer trees. It was what the Pennsylvania cabin had never fully felt, her own true home. It was here that, in the course of time, John married and set up his own household. Meanwhile, there were three more babies, though only the boy had lived past six months.
"Hank, go tell your pa the grub box is ready to be attached to the side of the wagon," Alice called to her son, who was sitting at the doorway weaving a straw hat. He had already made one for himself and another for his father and was now fashioning one for his cousin Gideon. He put down his work and stepped out into the yard, his bare feet making no sound as he ran toward the wagon in the advancing April sunshine.
Alice surveyed her house. Despite some disarray from packing, it looked quite ordinary. Most of the furniture was in place and would stay so. The cast-iron stove was warm from breakfast. The beds were bare of blankets and ticks, but curtains still hung at the windows. Hank's wooden toys, carved by Henry on long winter evenings by the fire, were jumbled in a corner. A pretty English-made sewing basket sent by an aunt in Philadelphia lay in the seat of the rocking chair.
Alice began moving quickly around the house collecting various articles and carrying them to the rocker. In one armload she deposited an ivory-handled brush and mirror set, a daguerreotype of her parents, and a lace bonnet trimmed withpink silk rosebuds. In a second armload she deposited the family Bible and some other books and several folded paper packets of flower seeds. She was carrying a roll of three yards of white flax cloth and a roll of two yards of flax she had dyed red with ripe pokeberries when Henry entered the house.
Before he could speak, Alice began talking at him rapidly.
"I know we can't take anything bulky like Grandma's oak washstand or the old cradle or the rocking chair, but surely, Henry, you can find a place for these few things. You know how I worked to sun-bleach that white flax. It'll make a fine Sunday shirt for you or maybe a start to Sarah's hope chest. The red'll be a blouse for me. You like me in bright colors.
"The other things may seem foolish to you, but I simply cannot part with them. Different reasons, each, and some you'd laugh at, no doubt, but tightly set nonetheless."
Henry walked to the rocker. Alice stood behind it and watched him as his eyes roved over the objects in the chair's seat. His tanned, weather-lined face rarely gave a clue to the workings of his mind, even to Alice, who had been studying it for sixteen years. He was not a secretive or passionless man, but a man who craved simple answers and was willing to wait for them.
"Space'd be better used for trading goods or extra rations," he said tentatively, not yet looking up.
Alice did not move or speak. She knew he had not yet come to a decision.
"But," he finally said, smiling at her, "after such a speech, I can't see how to deny you. I'll bring in a box from the barn. Best finish up smartly. The others will be down at the crossroads soon."
Henry had succeeded in assembling a party of fellow emigrants from the neighborhood. There was John, of course, and his family; Henry and John's sister, Jerusha Hall, and her family; and the newlywed Bowens. A modest outfit, but Henry had heard that large wagon trains often became unwieldy or disharmonious on the trail and ended up breaking into smaller units anyway. Henry trusted his own resources tomeet any eventuality the now well-worn road could present.
When Henry returned from the barn, Alice was rubbing the rippled glass of the windows with watered-down vinegar.
"That's no thing to be doing now," he said, setting the box inside the doorway.
"Henry, this is my house, and I'll leave it clean and respectable."
Alice rubbed more vigorously, not, he could see, to hasten the chore, but to stay further protests from him. He lingered in the doorway watching her; her vitality always impressed him. When she'd finished the windows, she took up a broom and began sweeping, moving in a pale cloud of dust motes ever closer to where he stood, as if she were gathering to his feet all their years together in that snug house. When she came up beside him, he reached out and grabbed the broom handle to stop her a moment. He felt as if he'd cut in on a dance.
"Say, girlie," he said, using the name he never spoke before others, "I'm figuring on tying that rocker to the back of the wagon last thing. How's that?"
Alice nodded at him and turned away abruptly. She carried the broom back to its customary corner and sloshed the vinegar water out the side window. She heard Henry's boots clump down the two wooden steps into the yard. Only then did she lift her apron to her face to pat away the tears.
A MONTH LATER, Alice was drying her sudsy hands on the same apron while, out of hearing range, she watched Henry shake hands with two young men. In the solidity of the handclasps and the slight head nods that accompanied them, she recognized the signs of an agreement.
Alice wondered if Henry had managed to find some honest tradesmen at last. Their small party had been camping outside Council Bluffs for a week, waiting a turn to ferry their five wagons and their animals across the Missouri River.
Wedged into a ravine, Council Bluffs was a rude town ofmostly log buildings along a gullied main street, with more than its share of profiteers. In her one walk through it, Alice had been unsettled by the high prices being asked for everything from flour and salt to wagons and draft animals, though Henry, who had gotten a good price for the farm and had been studying emigrants' guides for two winters running, was neither surprised nor dismayed. Still, Alice was glad they had outfitted themselves at home and needed only minor replenishments and some blacksmithing services.
Equally unsettling were the amount of gambling and the number of drunken men in the streets. There was no civil authority. Avoiding the town, as Alice and the other women did, was no guarantee of peace, either. Some emigrants had spent the latter part of the winter camped here, getting their outfits together, waiting to be joined by friends and relatives from other states, sitting out the wet weather until there'd be less mud and better grazing on the prairie. Boredom and idleness lured many men to cards and liquor, and these diversions, in turn, could lead to arguments, fights, and even shootings.
A woman in an adjacent river-bottom camp told Alice how one Sabbath a band of Mormons had broken up a dance among the Gentiles, as they called them; but she held that the saintly Mormons were as shrewd shavers in trade as anyone and that dealing with them in business did not guarantee you would not be Yankeed. She said, too, that though the Mormon bands were aimed for the Great Salt Lake, where Mormons had headed every spring since 1847, they would accept Gentiles to passenger over the plains with them as long as there were no arguments on religion. Of course, she continued, she wondered who would want to travel with them. Leastways, she said, it wouldn't likely be folks from Ohio, Missouri, or Illinois, who hated and feared Mormons and had driven them out of their states.
Council Bluffs was the Mullers' first stop of any duration, but Alice would always remember it as a place of movement. At any time of day she could turn in any direction and see people walking, men loading and unloading wagons, womencooking and washing, animals and wagons lumbering toward the flatboats, children running alongside.
At night, campfires flickered on all sides. The sounds of banjos, fiddles, and singing overlaid the cries of sleepy babies. The periodic bray of a mule broke into the lowing of the oxen.
The air itself was alive. Food aromas from neighboring cook pots mingled with stinging barnyard scents, and breezes off the river brought in the wet smell of spring.
Alice watched Henry and the young men part. Henry strode over to where she was draping wet laundry around the wagon. They had encountered spring snows and heavy rains crossing Iowa, and much of their clothing had become mud-sodden.
Henry pulled his pipe and a leather tobacco pouch from a pocket. He hit the pipe against the side of the wagon.
"Well, those boys have had themselves some adventure already, and not even really on the prairie yet," he said in an admiring tone.
"Are they tradesmen?" Alice asked.
"No. They hope to be prospectors. Had all they needed loaded on a steamer in St. Louis bound for Independence, but the boat blew up and sank."
"How horrible," Alice exclaimed. Yet what a relief, in a way, she thought. She would have preferred to be a victim of a God-sent catastrophe rather than a participant in the plodding destruction of her home, in which her house had been sold, many of her belongings given away, and the rest packed up and buried in the depths of the wagons. If one is to be unmoored, better at once and with the opportunity for loud grieving.
"They weren't aboard, luckily, but following in another riverboat," Henry continued. "They said a hundred thirty-five were killed."
"What were you shaking on?" Alice inquired.
"Oh," Henry said, as if it had slipped his mind, "on them joining our party. I'd talked to the one fellow earlier and wasjust now meeting the other. They'll help with the work in exchange for sharing our food and our company."
"But, Henry," Alice protested, "do we have the money and the space for more provisions?"
"We must make do," Henry said firmly. "I feel the need of more men in our party. Surely you can't object to two extra pairs of strong arms. I'm sure Jerusha will welcome relief from driving those oxen on the supply wagon."
Alice frowned. Two extra appetites to satisfy, she thought, and those arms won't be easing any of my chores. Alice was used to hard work, and she did not think of her lot as unfair, but she did not like added tasks to be cloaked as boons.
"Well, I hope they're not carousers," she said, wishing she had observed them more carefully.
"Two footloose, healthy young fellows sober at midday in Council Bluffs? That speaks for their characters a bit, now, don't it, girlie?" Henry teased. "And one of them plays the mouth organ."
Alice bent to the bucket at her feet, wrung out a pair of socks, and spread them to dry on the iron tire of a wheel.
"So," she retorted, "if the other one juggles, we can hire them out for campfire entertainments."
Henry chuckled. He tamped down the tobacco in his pipe and leaned over the low-burning campfire to light a spill. Sucking deeply on the lit pipe, he leaned back against the wagon box and exhaled fruity clouds of smoke in a long, relaxed sigh.
Disagreements between them were often settled in this indirect fashion. Just as they reached the brink of conflict, Alice would turn back, as if she had looked over the edge and decided it was not worth it to go on. Now she gave a coarsely woven linsey-woolsey shirt an extra tight twist to squeeze out the cold, gray water, and added her own, quieter sigh to Henry's. Shaking the shirt out in front of her, she looked over the encampment and noticed her brother-in-law approaching.
Royal Hall's bright orange hair and beard were easily spottedat a distance. Trotting on either side of him were two boys, Roy's five-year-old son Gideon, also orange-haired, and Alice and Henry's nine-year-old Hank, both wearing straw hats. Holding Gideon's hand was his eleven-year-old sister Ellen. She, too, was a redhead, but her hair was darker than her father's, like rust or red clay.
"Webster and Bennett meet up with you yet?" Roy asked Henry in greeting.
"Sure did. I was just telling Alice about them."
"How about Miss Jeffers?"
"Who?"
"Miss Jeffers," Hank interrupted. "She's a schoolmarm, not as pretty as Miss Thompson back home ..."
"But she gave us licorice," Gideon added in her defense.
"They ate it all right away, but I'm saving mine," Ellen said, cocking her head toward the boys hopping up and down in front of Alice.
"Hush, children," Alice scolded. "You boys go gather me some kindling, and, Ellen, look in your ma's wagon for any clothes need washing before I dump this bucket."
Ellen extracted a licorice stick from the pocket of her gingham dress and bit off a piece before walking away. The boys, glad to be set loose from the adults, ran toward the river. Roy's hounds, Rouser and Old Smith, who had been dozing under the wagon, shuddered awake and loped after them. Alice watched the four of them weaving between wagons and leaping over boxes and around the groups of littler children sitting in the dirt.
She tried to see with their eyes for a moment. If the trip so far had seemed to the children like a long picnic, which was what Sarah had said, this encampment, with its hundreds of wagons and thousands of emigrants, must have the feel for them of a grand fairground.
The number of wagons was matched by the variety of people. There were farm folk like themselves, some herding large numbers of cows and chickens and sheep, and many single men, some still boyish and wide-eyed, others more seasonedand gruffer. In town, occasional cavalrymen and infantrymen could be spotted, and Mormons. The Mormon men, who favored the Upper Ferry ten miles north, were ordinary enough to look at, but they always provoked clucking speculation on the number of wives and children they might claim.
Hank had been thrilled to report he had seen three Omaha Indians wrapped in red blankets perched on the opposite riverbank early one morning. Another day, he had spent an enraptured hour watching two Indian marksmen shooting arrows at nickels thrown up in the air by emigrants.
A party of freedmen had passed one afternoon. Alice had studied them as their mule-drawn wagon rattled by; they stared straight ahead, their dark faces frozen into a neutral expression Alice could not confidently ascribe to any emotion, though it did seem closer to anger than anything else. When the little girl with them, her head bristling with short, tight braids tied with strips of red muslin, looked directly at her, Alice had smiled and nodded at her, but the child had only regarded her impassively and then turned away.
Alice could not imagine what these people's lives had been like, what they had endured to get onto the road they now traveled, what they expected to find in the future. She felt a little bit afraid of them, of their self-possession and the acquaintanceship she assumed they had with bravery.
Gideon and Hank and the dogs disappeared from sight around a tent, and Alice turned her attention to Henry and Roy.
"So Miss Jeffers is looking to join a party bound for California," Roy was saying. "And, of course, she'd prefer a party as has women in it."
"Could she pay?" Henry asked.
"Don't know, but I should hope she expects to," Roy answered.
"If she's a teacher," put in Alice, "she might fit in some lessons for the children."
"Lessons are all well and good," Henry said, drawing deeply on his pipe and squinting through the smoke, "butlessons won't get us across the prairie or through the mountains. She'll have to pay."
Roy took out his pocket watch.
"She was to meet us at the ferry landing at two o'clock if she didn't find a place with another party," he said.
"Let's go then," said Henry jovially.
Alice watched the two men winding their way through the encampment as their sons had, though more decorously. This is a great fairground to them, too, she thought, complete with appraisals and negotiations. She shook her head with a mixture of amusement and irritation.
But these reactions were fleeting, edged out by the drowsy, leaden feeling that had overtaken her almost every afternoon at this time in the past week. She had come almost to look forward to it, for when the heaviness settled upon her she had no energy to spare for remorse over what she'd left behind nor for worry over what lay ahead. While it lasted she existed only in the thick present, peacefully stranded.
Alice sat down in the rocking chair. I'll fix some hyson tea in a bit, she excused herself. But when she laid her head back, she quickly fell asleep.
A half hour later the shouts of Hank and Gideon pulled her awake. When she opened her eyes, she saw Helen Bowen smiling down at her. Helen's smile was always a surprise because it seemed to hold her face together and make some sense of it. Without a smile, Helen's features looked mismatched and comical. One eye was noticeably smaller than the other, and one corner of her mouth dipped down sharply. Her nose was too large, but the youthful roundness of her cheeks and throat forgave it, and Helen so intrigued onlookers with the range of her facial expressions that she was often mistaken as comely.
Alice had enjoyed watching Helen's changeable face during the weeks crossing Iowa. She herself was pretty in a traditional way. People had always praised her slanted blue eyes, her even teeth, her delicately shaped mouth and nose, and many times she'd had herself compared to a cameo. Alicenever bothered about her prettiness, thinking her looks rather uninteresting, though she was vain about her hands, which were finely shaped and fashionably creamy-skinned.
It took no small amount of effort to keep them soft and manicured in the midst of farm life, but she accomplished it through the use of work gloves and imported lotions. Jerusha had always been suspicious of Alice's hands, convinced Alice must be stinting somehow in her duties as a wife and mother, but Jerusha had never been able to find hard proof of it. She had come, finally, to conclude not that her suspicions were ill founded, but that Henry was far too lenient and easily satisfied. Hands like that had no place on a respectable married woman.
Alice returned Helen's smile, though weakly, for she felt fatigued and vaguely unwell despite her nap.
"Good news," Helen declared, raising her thick eyebrows. "We cross tomorrow."
"COME ON, THEN, let's go find a game of monte," Jack Webster said, giving his cousin's arm an encouraging squeeze.
Reed Bennett did not move or return Jack's broad smile. Reed had seen that same smile worked on others, chiefly hesitant or aggrieved women. He himself was swayed by it at times, though less and less frequently as the years went on. Once, Reed watched Jack's special smile save him from a knife-wielding drunk who thought Jack had cheated him at cards.
The smile seemed to say, "I know I'm a trouble to you, and where you are probably right and I am probably wrong, indulge me just this once anyway. I promise you'll be happier for it. I'll see to that."
But this was too big a matter to allow Jack to have his way. At least not so easily. Reed would not let himself be rounded into a card game as if he were too dumb to see he was being handled.
"You shoulda told me," he said, frowning and shrugging off Jack's hand.
"It didn't seem like you'd mind so much."
"We're partners."
"Yes, yes, partners. No cause to doubt that."
"Partners decide together."
Jack's smile faded. He looked down at the ground, then frowned up into the sky, as if he were judging what turn the weather might take.
"And I never woulda agreed to signing on to a party full-freighted with women and their broods. You shoulda told me about them," Reed added, hoping now he'd got the deadwood on Jack.
Reed was uneasy with Jack's gaze off him. It made him feel like he wasn't there. Jack's attention had a habit of wandering away from a person even when that person was right before him and wanting his attention badly. Actually, Reed knew, it was just when a person most wanted Jack's attention that it was likely to ramble. Reed had never known anyone to conquer Jack in this--not Jack's mother, who had raised both boys, nor Jack's first woman, the crazy Widow Larkin, nor any woman after, nor any man either, though the men, of course, mostly did not care as long as Jack worked and sported fairly, which he did. But Reed cared. And school himself as he might, he could not stop caring.
"Look, Reed," Jack finally said, still staring up and speaking as if he were describing something he saw in the blue distance, "where there's women, there'll be good food, clean clothes, soft voices. The journey's hard enough."
"I've no need of such things."
Jack slowly lowered and turned his head, seeming to scan the horizon behind Reed. When his eyes met Reed's, a gentler version of that smile broke out again.
"Those folks need us, Reed. They're so appreciative, they're taking us on for free, remember. We should have paid a hundred dollars. Each."
"That candies it some," Reed conceded.
"And to soothe your fitful impressions of women, I'm going to take some of that money we saved on our passage and buy you the handsomest whore in Council Bluffs."
Reed shoved his hat deeper onto his head to hide a blush. If Jack knew which was the handsomest whore in town, it was a sure bet he'd been to her himself already and might do again. Reed didn't mind that Jack might have preceded him--it wouldn't be the first time--but he didn't like Jack to follow him. You never knew what a woman might tell, especially with a charmer like Jack in her bed.
"Don't want the handsomest," Reed grumbled. "Handsome women expect admiration. Even whores."
Jack laughed loudly. "But, Reed, admiring a woman can be a very pleasant thing."
Jack stretched his arm across his cousin's shoulders and steered him toward the hotel saloon several yards away. Jaunty piano tunes and sporadic shouts of merriment sallied from the open windows.
"Never mind, Reed, old boy. We'll get you a gal that knows her business and won't expect nothing from you but some silver dollars."
SEATED ON A small wooden stool opposite the Council Bluffs City Hotel, Bailey Jeffers had been watching Jack and Reed argue, and now she watched them stroll into the hotel together. She hadn't heard any of their discussion and hadn't cared to. They were just one facet of the scene she'd been trying for the past half hour to capture with charcoal on paper. She was making a series of rough sketches to develop later into a pen-and-ink drawing.
The two men, off to one side as they'd been, had made a good compositional foil to the group of five other men crouched over a dice game and a whiskey bottle just beside the hotel's front entrance. Bailey worked quickly, knowing her subjects could move away at any time. A steady stream ofwagons and pedestrians crossed from right to left and left to right across her line of vision, and they and their dust obscured her view, making her task more challenging.
But Bailey Jeffers was not afraid of a challenge. If anything, she was afraid of not having challenges, even obstacles, in life. Orphaned at an early age, unmarried, and now about to embark on an arduous journey with a band of strangers, Bailey was more at home with struggle than with peace and ease. Most people, she was aware, craved contentment, but she did not trust contentment, maybe because she never expected to achieve it herself. In its place, she aimed for experiences, as many as a woman alone could collect, which too often meant merely observing or listening to the experiences of others. It was the desire to see for herself that had brought her by steamboat from St. Louis to Council Bluffs to sign on to a wagon train to California.
Reed and Jack interested Bailey not only because they balanced the drawing overall, but also because the two of them visually balanced each other so well. They appeared to be about the same age, and their builds were similar, lean, with the singular muscularity of youth, but there the likeness ended.
The one who was doing most of the talking was startlingly good-looking, with hair as black as an Indian's, a full mouth sensuous enough to be envied by an actress, and a dashing white scar slicing across one black eyebrow to save the face from a boring wooden perfection. The other, more glum man, in contrast, was pallid and somehow worn down. His hair, though longer than the dark man's, was thinner. Lanky, light brown wisps hung well below his collar; when the breeze lifted them, his neck showed an unnatural whiteness. Some sort of scarring, Bailey thought--burns perhaps. The skin on the backs of his hands had clearly suffered burning. The man's face was freckled, his features regular enough, but not appealing. He wore a scraggly beard and had no eyebrows.
When the men entered the hotel, Bailey closed her sketchbookand stood up. She stretched her arms above her head; her limbs and back were cramped from sitting on the low stool hunched over her work so long. From the corner of her eye she caught the disapproving glare of a fat woman passing in a mule-drawn wagon; the woman poked the man beside her sharply in his ribs when his gaze lingered on Bailey's gracefully arching figure.
Sighing, Bailey turned her back on the estimable couple and picked up her stool. She began the long walk back to her little tent to pack up. Henry Muller had said he'd send his brother John with a wheelbarrow that evening to convey her belongings to their camp.
FLINDER HALL liked walking through the jumble of campsites with her uncle. John Muller, though ten years her senior, was only twenty-six, and so could easily be mistaken for her husband. She had no romantic interest in him at all; her wish to have passersby, especially men, think of her as John's wife was a purely tactical one.
In the short time at Council Bluffs, Flinder had seen more men and more kinds of men than she had in all her years at home. The way so many of them looked at her, some full on, some furtively, alarmed her, but it also fascinated her. She almost wished she could find one with a friendly enough face that she could ask him what the looks really meant. But even Flinder, whose father often upbraided her for being too bold, knew that such an inquiry was impossible. Now, however, in John's company, on the way to fetch the schoolmarm, she felt undisturbed by the attention she drew, and she openly watched the men watching her.
Back in Indiana, her mother, Jerusha, had actively discouraged any interest paid to Flinder by the few eligible young men living near their farm. Flinder hadn't minded. Though she was already of marriageable age and fully expected to be someone's wife someday, she was in no rush to marry. Every woman she knew was married, and she hadnever seen one of them lift her long skirts to run across a meadow or sit in a chair for even an hour without a baby in her lap or her hands busy with something.
"You'd best keep your eyes on your path," John said when Flinder stumbled into an anvil beside someone's wagon.
"I am," she replied, embarrassed.
John's pace had quickened, and Flinder had to trot now and then to keep up with his long-legged strides.
"I guess it's only natural. My Faith was only a year more than you when we wed. Still, you want to be cautious, Flin, where you set your gaze. A girl that looks like you do courts trouble."
"What do you mean, Uncle John?" she said, feeling both wronged and flattered by his remarks.
John steered his wheelbarrow in a wide arc past an open area where two men were training a three-yoke team of six oxen to work together. They had wisely yoked the youngest steers between the two leaders and the two wheelers. Even so, it was a hard task, but not so heartrending as breaking mules, which would kick, bite, and strike with their forefeet. It seemed only unbroken mules were available along the Missouri, and some emigrants, especially the city men, hired Mexicans to break the long ears into harness. Yesterday John had seen a man foolish enough to try to ride a mule thrown hell, west, and crooked. John was glad he and the other men in the Muller party had worked their teams at home.
Three men were watching the efforts of the ox handlers and calling out words of advice. John scowled at one who shifted position to watch Flinder go by, and the gawker quickly turned away.
John had grimaced at the man because he thought it his duty to do so, but he did not really blame him for his hungering stare. Flinder Hall's smooth, pink-cheeked face was framed by soft auburn curls that had pulled free of the ribbon loosely binding her thick, wavy hair at the base of her neck. Her eyes were a velvety brown with flecks of yellow, thickly lashed, and arched over by dark eyebrows that looked drawnon, so lyrical was their curve. She had what was politely called good carriage, which meant a full bosom and erect posture. That her movements were as lively and innocently free as a child's only added to the allure of her well-favored body. And John knew many of these men, traveling alone, had already been some weeks away from their wives and sweethearts and faced many months more without the prospect of a woman's company.
John's thoughts turned then to his pregnant wife and her blooming, full body. As he watched Faith last night in the simple act of slipping her chemise over her head, a longing had welled up in him that he had not felt in many weeks. She was a lovely study in contrasts, her delicate frame supporting the bulk of the baby inside her; her girlish face, as timid as a mourning dove's, floating above the startling assertion of her enlarged, blue-veined breasts. He had reached out and stroked her round, impossibly hard belly, and she had laughed at him, at the awe in his face, and then stroked her belly herself, as if it were not a part of her, looking over at him with a distracted smile. John had fallen asleep in her arms, beneath the itchy cowl of unspent desire.
"Just be cautious is all," he finally replied hoarsely to his niece.
Flinder sighed and carefully looked straight ahead or down at the ground for the rest of the walk. She wondered if, when she was a grown, married woman, people would answer her questions more fully. Then she remembered how her father had simply walked into the kitchen one afternoon while her mother was kneading bread dough and announced he'd sold the farm and they'd be leaving for California in two months. At least in the case of her parents, marriage did not seem to guarantee any more information than childhood. Flinder guessed it was up to her to find out things on her own.
WALKING WEST. Copyright © 1995 by Noëlle Sickels. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address St. Martin's Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.