Macmillan Childrens Publishing Group
Downtrodden Abbey

Downtrodden Abbey

The Interminable Saga of an Insufferable Family

Gillian Fetlocks

Thomas Dunne Books




Welcome to Downtrodden Abbey, where a battle for the deed to the property is waged between legitimate aristocrats and literal pretenders to the throne. The Crawfish family—Marry, Supple, Enid, Lady Flora, and Lord Roderick—are content wiling their days away with naughty charades and twenty-two course dinners until the sinking of the Gigantic takes down the next in line to inherit Downtrodden. Soon, cousin Isabich and her son, Atchew, the rightful heir to the Abbey, arrive to claim what's theirs. Downstairs, the servants are running amok, as crippled weakling Brace is aggressively courted by teen hottie Nana, and lady's maid "Potatoes" O'Grotten and her flamboyant sidekick, Tomaine, cause trouble at every turn. The ensuing, insufferably overwrought melodrama takes the reader upstairs and downstairs, into parlours and drawing rooms, boudoirs and bathrooms, and across every class—from the classiest to the classless—in the social pecking order of Edwardian England. Uproariously funny, with a wicked sense of humor that Downton Abbey diehards will enjoy, Gillians Fetlocks skewers your favorite characters with panache in this winning parody


That Sinking Feeling

It is the residents who occupy Downtrodden Abbey shortly after the turn of the twentieth century to whom we will now turn our attention.
The year is 1912—specifically, October the fifth—when...


Praise for Downtrodden Abbey

“This book is the reason I do not read. Also, I can never find my glasses.” —Jerry Atric

“Dense prose from an equally dense author. Addictively ignorable.” —Lord Gordon Ramshorn

“Excruciating. No one can make a long story longer than Gillian Fetlocks.” —Walter Wallcarpeting, English Critical Study and Care Unit

“Bursting with mediocrity.” —Unbearable and Pretentious Monthly

“In the perfect world, Fetlocks' execution of this volume would lead directly to Fetlocks' actual execution.” —Her Majesties' Review of Tasteful Books

“A throwback to UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS... a crackling examination of the Edwardian economic divide, and a peek behind closed doors at the differences and similarities between the aristocracy and servant classes, and... well, let's just say it's a lot like UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS. I mean, it really is.” —Dorothy Kernels Woodwind, author of I’m Much Smarter Than You And Always Will Be--So There!

“Weak entertainment.” —Entertaining Weakly

About the author

Gillian Fetlocks

GILLIAN FETLOCKS is the author of more than a dozen books, including the popular Detective Crumpet series, featuring the eponymous crime-solving pastry, which was filmed as a BBC miniseries. His memoir, Not Gay, Just British, has been translated into seventeen languages, though only actually read in three.
BILLY FROLICK, the voice behind Fetlocks, is a screenwriter who wrote the script for Madagascar. He is also author of the national bestselling parody The Ditches of Edison County.

Gillian Fetlocks

Gillian Fetlocks

From the Publisher

Thomas Dunne Books

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