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Macmillan Childrens Publishing Group
If I Can't Have You

If I Can't Have You

Susan Powell, Her Mysterious Disappearance, and the Murder of Her Children

Gregg Olsen and Rebecca Morris

St. Martin's Press


In If I Can't Have You, bestselling author Gregg Olsen and co-author Rebecca Morris investigate one of the 21st Century's most puzzling disappearances and how it resulted in the murder of two children by their father.

Every once in a great while a genuine murder mystery unfolds before the eyes of the American public. The tragic story of Susan Powell and her murdered boys, Charlie and Braden, is the only case that rivals the Jon Benet Ramsey saga in the annals of true crime. When the pretty, blonde Utah mother went missing in December of 2009 the media was swept up in the story – with lenses and microphones trained on Susan's husband, Josh. He said he had no idea what happened to his young wife, and that he and the boys had been camping in the middle of a snowstorm.

Over the next three years bombshell by bombshell, the story would reveal more shocking secrets. Josh's father, Steve, who was sexually obsessed with Susan, would ultimately be convicted of unspeakable perversion. Josh's brother, Michael, would commit suicide. And in the most stunning event of them all, Josh Powell would murder his two little boys and kill himself with brutality beyond belief.

Every moment I step back and take stock of what I'm dealing with, it feels like a never ending cycle but I'm too afraid of the consequences, losing my kids, him kidnapping [them], divorce or actions worse on his part …—SUSAN POWELL...

Praise for If I Can't Have You

“Olsen's [writing] is both gossipy and sympathetic, searing and brilliant. . . . A must read for true crime aficionados and students of abnormal psychology! I read until 3 a.m.!” —Ann Rule on If Loving You is Wrong

“Gregg Olsen is one of this country's favorite true crime writers…Olsen takes readers behind the scenes of this fascinating case.” —Tucson Citizen on A Twisted Faith

“As good as it gets.” —Lee Child on A Wicked Snow

“A rapid-fire page-turner.” —Seattle Times on A Twisted Faith

“A disturbing portrait of a community undone by its appealing young pastor…. An unsettling story of a man who committed murdered and then used his charm and his power as a man of God to exploit his congregants and satisfy his sexual obsession.” —Publishers Weekly on A Twisted Faith

“Dark, atmospheric, riveting suspense . . . Gregg Olsen is one of the best.” —Allison Brennan, New York Times bestselling author of Fear No Evil on A Cold Dark Place


Reviews from Goodreads

Gregg Olsen and Rebecca Morris

GREGG OLSEN is an award-winning journalist and New York Times and USA Today bestselling true crime author. He has been a guest on dozens of national and local television shows, including programs on the History Channel and Discovery Channel. Olsen is the author of the New York Times bestselling Abandoned Prayers, A Twisted Faith, and Cruel Deception, among others.

REBECCA MORRIS is an award-winning journalist and New York Times bestselling true crime author who has worked in broadcast and print journalism in New York City; Portland, Oregon; and Seattle, Washington. Her books include Bodies of Evidence, Ted and Ann, and Bad Apples.

Together, Olsen and Morris have collaborated on A Killing in Amish Country and If I Can’t Have You.

image of Gregg Olseno
Howard Petrella


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