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LADIES ONLY
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Renee. Renee who?
Renee marathon today!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Daisy. Daisy who?
Daisy plays, but at nights he goes to sleep.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Aida. Aida who?
Aida lot of sweets, and now I have a tummy ache.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Alexia. Alexia who?
Alexia again to open this door!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Arlette. Arlette who?
Arlette a fly in, sorry.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Athena. Athena who?
Athena flying saucer!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Carmen. Carmen who?
Carmen get it!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Celeste. Celeste who?
Celeste time I’m going to tell you!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Danielle. Danielle who?
Danielle, I heard you the first time!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Irene. Irene who?
Irene and Irene, but still no one answers the door!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Harmony. Harmony who?
Harmony times do I have to tell you?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Wilma. Wilma who?
Wilma frog turn into a prince?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Julie. Julie who?
Julie your door open, but I knocked anyway.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Bree. Bree who?
Bree a good neighbor, and let me in.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Frida. Frida who?
Frida the dark, open up!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Candace. Candace who?
Candace be love I’m feeling right now?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Isabella. Isabella who?
Isabella out of order?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Izzy. Izzy who?
Izzy come, Izzy go.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Olivia. Olivia who?
Olivia me alone!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Guinevere. Guinevere who?
Guinevere going to get together?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Lauren. Lauren who?
Lauren order.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Lois. Lois who?
Lois man on the totem pole, I’m afraid.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Mandy. Mandy who?
Mandy lifeboats, the ship’s sinking!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Nona. Nona who?
Nona your business!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Nadia. Nadia who?
Nadia head if ya understand what I’m saying, okay?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Esther. Esther who?
Esther anybody else here for the party yet?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Hannah. Hannah who?
Hannah me some of those oranges, I’m starving!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Maya. Maya who?
Maya hand is killing me from knocking all day!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Anna. Anna who?
Anna chance you wanna go out later?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Enid. Enid who?
If Enid anything, I’m here.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Ida. Ida who?
Ida called first.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Tamara. Tamara who?
Tamara we’ll see!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Denise. Denise who?
Denise are in the middle of your legs.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Wanda. Wanda who?
Wanda where I left my keys!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Lisa. Lisa who?
Lisa you could do is let me in.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
May. May who?
May I come in already?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Gwen. Gwen who?
Gwen do you think you want to come out?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Tori. Tori who?
Tori I bothered you.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Norma Lee. Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I’d ring the doorbell.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Halle. Halle who?
Hallelujah, I’m here to sing!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Eve. Eve who?
Evening!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Liz. Liz who?
Liz roll! We’re going to be late.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Lydia. Lydia who?
Lydia teapot looks a bit loose. Shall I fix it?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Isabel. Isabel who?
Isabel really necessary when you have such a great door knocker?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Anya. Anya who?
Anya best behavior please!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Annie. Annie who?
Annie body home?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Allie. Allie who?
Allie want for Christmas is you!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Meg. Meg who?
Meg up your mind!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Leda. Leda who?
Leda of the pack. Vroom-vroom!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Sarah. Sarah who?
Sarah doctor in the house? These jokes are making me sick.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Bella. Bella who?
Bella button full of lint!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Della. Della who?
I want to Della ’nother knock-knock joke, if you don’t mind.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Lena. Lena who?
Lena bit closer and I’ll tell you.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Alison. Alison who?
Alison to this new song!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Darby. Darby who?
Darby pirates about!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Holly. Holly who?
Holly-days are here already!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Shirley. Shirley who?
Shirley you know who!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Sadie. Sadie who?
Sadie magic words and I’ll tell you.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Olga. Olga who?
Olga home if you aren’t nice.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Wendy. Wendy who?
Wendy today, sunny tomorrow.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Debbie. Debbie who?
Debbie stung me! Or maybe it was a wasp.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Abby. Abby who?
Abby birthday to you!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Anna. Anna who?
Anna one, Anna two …
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Ivana. Ivana who?
Ivana you to let me in!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Clara. Clara who?
Clara space, I’m coming in for dinner!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Susan. Susan who?
Susan socks keep your feet warm.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Colleen. Colleen who?
Colleen up this mess out here!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Mara. Mara who?
Mara-Mara on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Wendy. Wendy who?
Wendy last time you brushed your teeth?!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Amanda. Amanda who?
Amanda fix the toilet!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Sabrina. Sabrina who?
Sabrina long time since I’ve seen you!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Sasha. Sasha who?
Sasha lot of questions!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Sloane. Sloane who?
Sloanely out here.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Bonnie. Bonnie who?
Bonnie long time since last we spoke!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Bailey. Bailey who?
I know we Bailey know each other, but can we hang out?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Tish. Tish who?
Yes, thank you—I need to blow my nose.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Alma. Alma who?
Alma treasure is buried on an island, argh!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Alda. Alda who?
Alda time you knew who it was!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Yvonne. Yvonne who?
Yvonne to be alone?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Linda. Linda who?
Linda hand, I can’t move this piano by myself!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Rita. Rita who?
Rita book—you might learn something!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Amy. Amy who?
Amy ’fraid I’ve forgotten!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Mia. Mia who?
Mia and my shadow.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Mischa. Mischa who?
I Mischa lots!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Mae. Mae who?
Mae-be I’ll say, and Mae-be I won’t.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Marie. Marie who?
Marie me—I love you!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Phyllis. Phyllis who?
Phyllis cup up with water please, I’m so thirsty!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Claire. Claire who?
Claire the way, I’m coming through!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Roxanne. Roxanne who?
Roxanne coral are my favorite things about the beach!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Violet. Violet who?
Violet your cat in and out while you’re away, will you bring me back a souvenir?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Eliza. Eliza who?
Eliza lot, so don’t trust him.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Kim. Kim who?
Kim too late to the party.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Stephanie. Stephanie who?
Stephanie gas, we’re going to be late!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Henrietta. Henrietta who?
Henrietta worm that was in his apple! Gross!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Vicky. Vicky who?
Vicky to a good health is a balanced diet.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Darlene. Darlene who?
Be a Darlene and open the door for me?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Alice. Alice who?
Alice fair in love and war!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Dee. Dee who?
Dee cake is in dee oven!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Penny. Penny who?
Penny for your thoughts?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Sonya. Sonya who?
What’s Sonya to-do list for today?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Dawn. Dawn who?
Dawn mess around here, or I’ll take off!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Taylor. Taylor who?
Taylor little brother to pick up his toys so I don’t step on them.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Jess. Jess who?
Jess me!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Erin. Erin who?
I have to run a quick Erin, but I’ll be right back!
Knock knock. Who’s there?
Avery. Avery who?
Avery nice person is knocking on the door, you should come take a look!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Iris. Iris who?
Iris you were here!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Cameron. Cameron who?
Turn your Cameron and take a picture of me!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Lee. Lee who?
I’m lone Lee without you!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Frances. Frances who?
Frances next to Spain, you know.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Harriet. Harriet who?
Harriet up, and open the door!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Yardley. Yardley who?
Yardley know you, but can I come in?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Wanda. Wanda who?
Wanda hang out for a bit?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Daria. Daria who?
Daria getting tired of these silly jokes yet?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Bette. Bette who?
Bette you can’t guess!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Dana. Dana who?
Dana talk to me like that!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Samantha. Samantha who?
Samantha time you’re nice, but not right now!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Elsie. Elsie who?
Maybe Elsie you around some time?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Ivy. Ivy who?
Ivy good mind to keep going and going and going …
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Viola. Viola who?
Viola sudden you pretend not to know me?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Maura. Maura who?
Maura knock-knock jokes on the way!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Stella. Stella who?
Stella more jokes to each other!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Val. Val who?
Val, how are you doing?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Sharon. Sharon who?
Sharon share alike!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Joan. Joan who?
Joan you remember me?
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Brighton. Brighton who?
Brighton early, I said I’d be here!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Cynthia. Cynthia who?
Cynthia been so good, I’m taking you out to dinner!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Annette. Annette who?
Annette from you and a pole from me, and we’re sure to catch a fish.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Justice. Justice who?
Justice I thought—you don’t remember me!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Rhona. Rhona who?
Rhona bike around all day and I’m so tired!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Alex. Alex who?
Hey, Alex the questions around here!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Ruth. Ruth who?
Ruth of the matter is that I’m glad to see you!
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Leia. Leia who?
Leia down and go to sleep.
Knock knock! Who’s there?
Candace. Candace who?
Candace be the last knock-knock joke?
Copyright © 2018 by St. Martin’s Press
