What Excellent Mentors Do
MATTERS OF SKILL
So what is a mentor supposed to do anyway? If this question has crossed your mind, you are not alone. Although many of us have benefited from the teaching, coaching, and care of one or more mentors, some of us have never been mentored and might wonder how such a relationship actually should be structured. We wonder what to do once a decision to mentor is made. In this section of The Elements, our focus is on the tangible behaviors or functions of mentoring. Each of these functional mentoring elements requires a combination of knowledge, attitudes, and skills. Knowledge is informed understanding. You should understand how each distinct mentoring element is crucial for your mentee’s development and how you might most effectively deliver it in your unique context or professional field. Attitude is a mentor’s perspective or point of view. Each mentoring component will be useful only if it is approached in the right spirit and primarily for the benefit of the mentee. Ultimately, a mentor’s knowledge and attitudes translate into a set of functional skills. Skill is behavior designed to serve a specific purpose. Many of the elements we discuss require experience and seasoning and mastering those results from deliberate practice. Only then will they be honed and sharpened.
The skills of mentoring are intended primarily to facilitate a mentee’s career development. At various times throughout a mentee’s career, a mentor sponsors a mentee for a new position, coaches a mentee through the nuances of a new task, introduces a mentee to key colleagues, or gives a challenging assignment intended to stretch a mentee beyond his or her comfort zone. Here the mentor is demonstrating career functions. At other times, the mentor directs attention to the mentee’s emotional and personal development. A mentor may give much-needed affirmation, encourage the pursuit of dreams, lend emotional support, or engage in increasing collegial friendship with the mentee. Here the mentor is demonstrating psychosocial functions.
Each of the 24 elements included in this section are matters of skill. Each can be learned. With the appropriate attitudes (a sincere and generative interest in the growth of others—what we refer to as the character virtue of care) and necessary knowledge (something we hope The Elements helps you to achieve), we believe you have the prerequisites for mastering these mentoring functions. We ask you to keep in mind that these elements of mentoring are much like tools in the toolbox of a master mechanic. Discretion is needed for the appropriate use of the tools. Skillful mechanics know that they cannot use all of their tools at one time, that some tools may be inappropriate for certain jobs, and that some tools are more important than others. In a similar manner, mentors assess individual mentees to determine which combination of elements is most likely to be helpful at each stage in a mentee’s development. We do not believe that this type of assessment can be achieved by using a rigid formula. Assessing mentees is really more a matter of growing wisdom and competence in the mentor role—a sort of knowing born of firsthand experience. Nevertheless, in the chapters that follow, mentors may find some of these elements particularly helpful: “Know Your Mentees,” “Capitalize on Teachable Moments,” “Listen Actively,” “Schedule Periodic Reviews or Evaluations,” “Check Yourself for Unintentional Bias,” and “Slow Down the Process.” Overall, mentors need more than to simply have the right tools in their toolboxes. They need to know how to apply these tools selectively and thoughtfully to get good results. Such mentor wisdom is a product of steadily accruing experience, commitment, and humility. Chances are you will never be a perfect mentor.
1
Select Your Mentees Thoughtfully
As a successful senior manager in a thriving electronics company, Steve frequently supervised and interacted with junior managers and managerial trainees. Although he was courteous, fair, and helpful in these relationships, Steve was thoughtful when it came to committing time and resources to more in-depth mentorships. During a five-year period, he intentionally mentored four new managers—all of whom demonstrated strong potential and shared his interests in and commitment to the organization. Intentional mentoring requires deliberate and thoughtful planning. Steve was careful to consider a mentee’s specific mentoring needs. Each of these mentees caught Steve’s attention through his or her stellar job performance, initiative, and frequent interaction. Although he had the reputation of being an excellent mentor and although he was often approached by junior managers for career guidance, Steve was acutely conscious of his limited resources (e.g., time, energy, and opportunities for including mentees in his work). For this reason, he carefully scrutinized promising new managers, determined the level of chemistry or “match” in their interactions, and then firmly committed himself only to the number he believed he could carefully and successfully assist through the early phase of their careers.
Choosing mentees is similar to investing. You have limited resources, and you hope for good returns. Among the best returns on a mentoring investment are these: mentees who thrive in their careers and make outstanding contributions; organizations that enjoy high retention, commitment, and loyalty from employees; and mentors who savor the synergy of working with talented junior professionals who become the next generation of stars and leaders. To get these returns, mentors must behave like prudent investors. They start by carefully selecting their mentees. Mentors must have acumen to discern the type of traits, talents, and interests of their junior professionals that serve as a good match for a mentorship. Like any investment, the expectation is the payment of dividends for the mentor, mentee, sponsoring organization, or profession.
Selectivity matters for another reason. You cannot mentor everyone. No matter how energized, idealistic, and gifted you are, everyone has limitations. This means that taking on too many mentees is a sure way to compromise your own health, the quality of your mentoring, and your own performance at work. Excellent mentors appreciate the costs of mentoring. It takes time, emotional energy, and professional resources. Unless they are careful, competent mentors can fall into a trap.
What happens when a mentor fails at the task of selectivity? In attempting to mentor too many people or mentees with whom they are poorly matched, mentors dilute the power of mentoring in the lives of mentees. They also diminish their own enjoyment of the mentoring experience, which ironically is considered one of the greatest benefits of being a mentor. Well-intended but overextended mentors can pay a heavy price—sometimes to the point of becoming exhausted, detached, emotionally muted, or even cynical toward their mentees. Excellent mentors know when to say no. When they reach their threshold, they gracefully decline accepting new mentoring relationships, especially with poorly matched juniors. This protects their current cadre of mentees from lackluster mentoring, and it helps to ensure ample reserves of energy and focus for their mentoring efforts.
Look at the other side. What about the psychology of mentors who just can’t say no? The obvious consequences are a failure to set limits, inadequate self-care, and, ultimately, burnout. They are perpetually overextended, hurried, and needlessly pressured, as anyone would attest. But the causes are less apparent than the consequences. Failure to set limits may indicate poor assertiveness skills or fear of rejection. It might represent an unhealthy need for approval or an insatiable need to be valued and appreciated. Being pursued by potential mentees might feed a mentor’s need for importance or status. And failure to set limits could reflect a mentor’s misunderstanding of the actual professional requirements and emotional demands of good mentorship. Whatever the cause, under these conditions, mentorships are likely to be marginalized.
What guidelines should mentors follow in initiating developmental relationships with prospective mentees? Research indicates that mentors in most fields generally select mentees with obvious talent and career potential. Juniors who earn the label “fast-tracker” based on their past achievements and the perception that they will be successful are usually appealing to mentors. These mentees favorably reflect the mentor’s competence in developing talent, and they eventually may become valued colleagues to the mentor. Yet good mentorships can—and should—also be established with individuals who have not been labeled as “fast-trackers.” Communication skills, emotional stability, ambition, initiative, intelligence, and loyalty are important traits that can supersede a label. In addition, mentors can be well served by seeking mentees who share their interests. Last, excellent mentors are conscious about seeking cultural and gender diversity among those they mentor.
In business settings, mentorships that begin informally often are more effective than those that are brokered or “arranged.” The mutual understanding, respect, and trust that naturally evolve in an informally developed mentorship increase the chances that both parties will find the experience satisfying. We should always remember that mentorships, first and foremost, are relationships. As in a marriage, the freedom to choose for both the mentor and mentee provides grounding for mutual commitment and satisfaction. It’s crucial that mentors be thoughtful and intentional when selecting their mentees.
KEY COMPONENTS
• Honestly consider the maximum number of mentees you can mentor while ensuring excellence in the mentor role.
• Identify the personal qualities, interests, and aspirations of mentees that make them a good “match” before committing to a mentorship.
• Commit to mentor only after some period of informal work and interaction with a prospective mentee.
• Remain vigilant to symptoms of mentor burnout.
• Honestly consider your motivation for mentoring.
• Whenever possible, select a diverse portfolio of mentees.
Copyright © 2018, 2008, 2004 by W. Brad Johnson and Charles R. Ridley