1
The place smelled of wood and glue and fresh paint. She was alone with the darkness and the silence, with only her breathing and the faint tick of the watch in her jacket pocket for company. The man seemed to have disappeared again, yet she decided to wait a little longer, stretching to get the blood flowing through her arms and legs. At least there were no coat hangers on the rail; she could see a chink of light through the crack in the door. She took the watch from her jacket pocket. It was just gone nine. The night watchman would soon be completing his rounds on the sixth floor.
Confirmation came with the grinding of the lift, echoing so loudly through the darkness that she gave a start. It was time. He was on his way back down, and in the next few hours would only be concerned with the roller grilles in front of the doors and display windows, with making sure that everything was locked and no one could break in.
Alex carefully opened the wardrobe and peered out. Better safe than sorry, Benny always said. The neon signs on Tauentzienstrasse shone so much colour through the windows there was no need for a torch. She could see everything: the luxurious show bedroom, with a bed wide enough for a whole family and a carpet so soft her feet sank into it. When she thought back to the scratchy coconut matting in front of the bed she had shared with her little brother, Karl, when she was still living with her parents, in digs that were as murky as they were cramped … What had become of Karl? She didn’t even know if the cops had gone looking for him after Beckmann’s death. She didn’t miss her family, but she’d have liked to see him again.
Alex spun around at a movement on the edge of her vision. The big mirror on the dressing table reflected an eighteen-year-old girl staring defiantly back, legs in baggy trousers and hair held in place by a coarsely woven linen cap. She gave herself a wry grin.
Pausing at the end of the elegantly decorated plywood panel that served as a makeshift bedroom wall, she peered around the corner. It was hardly necessary. The night watchman wouldn’t make another round of the shop floor before morning, towards the end of his shift. She knew that from Kalli. There wasn’t a soul around and it was a nice feeling, knowing that all this belonged to her for the next few hours. Her and Benny.
Alex found her way without difficulty. The restless, dappled light from outside, flickering constantly between one colour and the next, was more than enough. She had committed the most important things to memory a few hours before when the place was full of people. Behind her were the doors leading to the southern stairwell and, to the left, past the wall of curtain fabrics, was the access to the escalators.
Everything was calm. Traffic noise was muffled, almost unreal, a dull murmur from a different world that had nothing to do with its magical counterpart inside. She entered the deserted curtain section that seemed like a fairy-tale castle, long drapes hanging from ceiling to floor in silk, satin and net. As a little girl, she had often stood here in astonishment, clasping her mother’s hand. Young Alexandra soon understood that her mother never came to buy, only to dream. Take it all in, she had said, we proles may not be able to afford anything here, but they can’t stop us from looking.
They had never had enough money to buy things in the west, not even when Father was still in work and Mother had her cleaning job. In fact it had been rare for them to venture outside of Boxhagener Kiez. The Ku’damm, KaDeWe and Tauentzienstrasse—for her father these places were a symbol of wasteful capitalism, the west of the city a hotbed of vice to be avoided like the devil avoided holy water. If not for Mother the stubborn old man would never have allowed himself to be talked into those occasional summer visits to the zoo, but even Emil Reinhold understood that you shouldn’t deprive working-class children of the wonders of nature. Alex had never cared to see creatures suffering behind bars, however, and by the polar bears she would already be thinking of the return journey. The Reinhold family was accustomed to strolling the length of Tauentzienstrasse before boarding the U-Bahn at Wittenbergplatz and heading back to the east. At the first shop windows Emil Reinhold would begin his recurring sermon about the excesses of capitalism, even if Alex and her mother had their eyes fixed on the displays. The KaDeWe displays held a kind of magic for Alex. In Mother’s eyes, too, was the sparkle of long-forgotten dreams of a better life, a life which the dictatorship of the proletariat could never hope to provide. Father never noticed, or never wanted to notice. He continued his sermon to the captive audience of his sons, above all to Karl, who took everything so seriously. Karl, the prince of the proletariat, the staunch Communist, who was now in hiding from the cops just like his thieving sister.
Alex had almost reached the escalators when a noise brought her back to the present, a hard clack, more immediate than the padded roar of traffic. She crouched behind two giant rolls of cloth and listened: something was banging against the glass, clattering and scratching against one of the windows. She tried to place the sounds. A fluttering, then a cooing. Venturing from her hiding place, behind the neon-lit pane of glass she saw the silhouettes of two pigeons resting on the window ledge.
She took a deep breath to still her beating heart. First the mirror and now this! Benny would kill himself laughing if he could see her. When had she become so easily startled? When she realised her messed-up life was more important than she cared to admit?
With a loud flap of wings, the pigeons swooped back into the night and Alex continued on her way, the nervous tension accumulated during those long hours in the wardrobe all but evaporated. She enjoyed her night-time stroll through the silent department store more with each passing step. It was as if everything had fallen into a hundred-year sleep, and she was the only person awake in this enchanted kingdom. KaDeWe outstripped all the other department stores they had shut themselves in until now; Tietz for sure, but even the enormity of Karstadt on Hermannplatz paled against the magnificence of Tauentzienstrasse.
She left the curtain section and reached the escalators. The metal steps stood deserted and motionless as if an evil fairy had turned everything to ice. It was five storeys down to their agreed meeting point on the ground floor: the tobacco section, as always. It had become a kind of ritual, to stock up on brands they could never otherwise afford. Benny had a nose for the stuff.
She had met him on a freezing cold day in February, quarrelling over a cigarette butt that some snotty-nosed, rich little upstart had thrown half-smoked onto the pavement in front of Bahnhof Zoo, a few weeks after all that crap with Beckmann. Alex had already spent the money she had stolen from that fatso at the Christmas market. She was hungry and hadn’t had a cigarette in two days.
They pounced on the butt in the same instant, she and this slender, almost dainty blond boy, who, despite his awkward appearance, wasn’t afraid of getting his hands dirty. He moved quickly, but not as quickly as Alex. He glared at her, a look she had returned with interest, so much did her body crave the nicotine. It was a miracle they had managed to make peace and share the cigarette butt. No doubt it was his eyes that did it.
Right from the start Alex felt she had to look after this skinny boy with the melancholy gaze, and soon developed almost maternal feelings towards Benny, who was still not yet sixteen. At the very least, she felt like an older sister to him, yet it was Benny who, in the weeks that followed, showed her how to survive on the streets; Benny who taught her how to steal wallets, open doors without a key and drive cars belonging to other people. Useful knowledge for a girl who, when night fell, was never sure where her next meal was coming from.
For the whole of spring they made ends meet with pickpocketing, small-scale burglaries and a few assignments they took care of for Kalli while they survived from hand to mouth. Until they discovered department stores.
The first time at Tietz, on Dönhoffplatz, was pure chance. Alex and Benny were in the store just before closing to shelter from the rain. The idea came to them of its own accord as customers were politely ushered towards the exits. They only needed to exchange glances before spending the next few hours huddled tightly together in an enormous wardrobe trunk. When everything around them fell silent they ventured out, every bone in their bodies aching, to empty the jewellery cabinets, and whatever else they could lay their hands on. They filled two small cases from the leather goods section, just enough to carry comfortably without drawing attention to themselves. No one stopped them when they were back outside on Krausenstrasse or had any idea what they were carrying in their cases. They boarded the next train at Spittelmarkt, calm as you like, and passed unnoticed there too, a couple of youths with suitcases, who looked like exhausted street traders returning home after a long and fruitless day.
The next morning Kalli was astonished, and only too happy to cough up. They had never scored so much before, at most a pocket watch taken from a drunk, or a few odds and ends stolen from a car. After Tietz they stopped dealing in bits and pieces. Pinching wallets on the U-Bahn or fleecing drunks was scarcely worth it, being risky and always a matter of chance. The department store ruse was more lucrative, easier too. All they had to do was shut themselves in, raid the display cabinets and get the hell out. By the time the night watchmen noticed the empty displays, Alex and Benny were long gone.
They had worked over four department stores by now, and last time, at Karstadt, had made away with some really nifty pieces. It was Kalli who had suggested Berlin’s finest establishment. Alex and Benny would never have thought of it themselves, out of sheer respect. In KaDeWe, they could really make hay, Kalli said, why not try their luck there? The place would be no better guarded than Tietz or Karstadt, guaranteed. He knew someone who worked there.
Now she was teetering over escalators making her way down floor by floor. The feeling of having KaDeWe all to herself suddenly overwhelmed her. She couldn’t help thinking back to Tietz, where together with Benny she had moved from section to section, savouring the fact that they were alone with such treasures. They had tested any number of things, even paying the toy section a visit, a little coyly at first since, in spite of their friendship, they mostly concealed their childish sides from each other. In the second department store, however—Tietz again, this time at Alexanderplatz—they had got straight down to work.
The great hall on the ground floor opened out in front of her. To get to the tobacco products she had to go through gentlemen’s fashion, where a line of mannequins with wax faces looked down on her rigidly, arrogantly, just like the snotty little upstarts who wore these clothes on the outside and could scarcely move for their conceit. Alex hated their kind and took pleasure that it was exactly these types who stood here now, condemned to spend the rest of their days as KaDeWe fossils. At the end of the army of mannequins she could already sense the wood panelling and shelves of the tobacco section.
Benny didn’t seem to be here, but there was something in the weak light flickering outside. She froze, rooted to the spot. Had one of the mannequins at the end of the row moved? She took a closer look, but everything was as before. A red neon sign flashing outside was making the shadows in here dance. There was no night watchman among the mannequins, not a single peaked cap in the line, just casual fedoras, bourgeois bowlers and elegant top hats. She continued with her heart still pounding; it seemed as if every beat must be audible in the silence.
The mannequin that had so startled her stood right at the end of the line, just before the entrance to the tobacco section. She stuck her tongue out and it tilted its upper body slightly forwards. Terror coursed through her like an electric shock.
‘Come right in, my lady,’ said the dummy in an operatic Hungarian accent, ‘don’t be shy!’
‘Are you trying to give me a heart attack?’ Alex punched the snow-white dickey.
Benny took a bow, removing his top hat and waving her through the door like a fairground barker. ‘Come in, my lady! And don’t be cowed by the prices. There’s something here for everyone!’
‘You’re a right one, you are,’ Alex grinned. ‘You look like a trainee ringmaster!’ She immediately regretted her choice of words when she saw his face. He had expected amazement, wonder, applause—anything but a joke at his expense.
‘I thought since we were here, why not get all dressed up,’ he said, trying not to let his disappointment show.
‘Looks damn elegant,’ she said. ‘I’ve never seen you in anything like it.’
‘Why would you have? This isn’t made for the likes of us. Yet here I am!’ He opened a canvas bag. ‘I got you something from ladies’ fashion,’ he said, lifting out a red silk dress. ‘What do you think?’
‘We should stick with jewellery. Kalli can’t get rid of clothes.’
‘Just try it on.’ He waved the red silk.
‘Now?’
‘It’s an evening dress, isn’t it?’ He held out the shimmering, dark-red dress.
‘Isn’t it a bit too … classy?’
‘The question is whether you like it.’
She held the dress against herself and looked in one of the mirrors. The size was right, and she really liked it. She wouldn’t have thought Benny had such an eye for fashion. He’d never bought himself anything to wear, nothing, not even with the money that Kalli gave them last time, enough for half a dozen new suits. He had only noticed that she had bought herself a new coat some days later.
Benny fetched a silver tin from his inside pocket and took out a Manoli Privat, a six-pfennig brand. He didn’t look so ridiculous in that get-up at all, she thought, it was just a little unfamiliar; she had only ever seen him in coarse linen trousers and his faded leather jacket.
‘Do you want one?’ he asked.
‘Just a drag.’
Benny lit the cigarette and passed it on. Alex took two deep drags and returned it.
‘It looks good,’ he said, pulling gloves and a little hat out of the bag. ‘You should put it on.’
Alex stepped behind a pilaster and changed into the dress, donning the gloves and placing the hat on her head, heart pounding. She’d never worn anything so elegant before, and felt good yet insecure at the same time. It was a strange sensation, but Benny must be feeling the same way. She could have spared him that stupid remark.
‘Da-da-da-daa,’ she trumpeted as she emerged. The boy who usually couldn’t keep his mouth shut didn’t say a word, and she knew immediately he was impressed. He looked so elegant, especially now, bowed ever so slightly before her.
‘Will you dance with me?’ he asked.
Alex laughed. ‘Do you hear music?’
‘Yes.’ He took her right hand and clasped her left shoulder. ‘Don’t you?’ He hummed a little melody and swayed her slowly back and forth in three-quarter time.
‘I don’t know how to dance.’
‘Leave that to me.’ He began to waltz, sweeping her along with him. His grip was firm and she abandoned herself to his movement and the rhythm of his song. They reeled past the mannequins with their arrogant faces, past the shelves and clothes stands, past the dappled light gleaming in from Tauentzienstrasse. Only when they came to a halt did she realise that they had danced halfway across the floor. She felt a little dizzy and out of breath, but happy nevertheless.
‘Where did you learn that?’ He never ceased to amaze her, this skinny boy with the child’s face that sometimes appeared so terrifyingly serious and grown-up.
‘In the home. The kitchen girls used to dance when the nuns weren’t looking. They showed me—do you like it?’
She nodded, and he grabbed her again, spinning in the opposite direction this time. Alex was overjoyed. If her father knew that she took pleasure in such bourgeois frippery as the Viennese Waltz, he’d no doubt have condemned his wayward daughter even more than usual.
When they arrived back at the tobacco section she was unable to stand on her own. ‘That was great,’ she said, out of breath. ‘We should have done it sooner. I could use the practice.’
‘Maybe we should go dancing properly sometime. Somewhere real swish, I mean, like a dance hall on the Ku’damm…’
Alex laughed. ‘They’d kick us out!’
‘We’d just need to be dressed like we are now.’ Benny paused, as if finding it hard to utter his next sentence, as if the words had to overcome a few hurdles first. ‘You’re beautiful, Alex,’ he said, and it sounded as if he’d been meaning to say it for a long time. He stroked her cheek with his fingertips, startling her with his unexpected tenderness. She gave a little start, but he didn’t notice, simply closed his eyes and drew nearer. Only when his lips brushed against her mouth did she react, pushing him away gently but firmly.
‘Benny! You can’t…’
He didn’t seem to understand, or want to understand.
‘I don’t know. You’re only fifteen.’ Shit, Alex, be nice to him! ‘Don’t get me wrong, I like you. You’re my friend.’
‘Why can’t I kiss you?’
He looked so sad and awkward she couldn’t help taking him in her arms and stroking his head. ‘I like you, Benny. But … we can’t. Especially not now. We’ve got work to do.’
‘True,’ he said. ‘Enough of this nonsense.’
He let go and unpacked the second canvas bag, into which he had stuffed his old clothes, but she could see she had hurt him for the second time that evening, only this time it had gone deeper. He was trying not to let it show, and she pretended she hadn’t realised, but the atmosphere between them was soured. Moments before they had soared across the KaDeWe floor; now, in evening dress, they looked like two children who had been rummaging secretly through their parents’ wardrobe. At least that was how Alex felt, and Benny too by the look of him. He rushed to get back into his old clothes, and Alex returned behind the pilaster to change.
‘Let’s get to work,’ he said, passing her the second bag. Silently they went on their way.
The jewellery section was also on the ground floor, the glass of the display cabinets shimmering in the half-dark. Alex felt her nerves jangle again. The most expensive items would be stored in the vault, and, since the display cabinets contained only replicas, Alex and Benny could ignore the swanky rocks and concentrate on simple items that were bound to be genuine: plain rings, bangles and earrings, but mostly watches, any number of them, golden pocket watches and elegant wrist watches. Kalli always paid good money for watches.
Benny took off his leather jacket and wrapped it around his arm. ‘Alex,’ he said, ‘I promise you, in two, maybe three years, I won’t need to do this anymore. I’ll spend the day wearing expensive suits, drive a car, and live in a nice house with servants. And then I’ll ask you again if you want to go dancing with me.’
Before she could reply, he drew back his elbow and shattered the glass with a clatter that was loud enough to wake the whole city.
They moved quickly, not exchanging a word, Alex collecting wristwatches from the shattered display cabinet and stuffing them into her bag, while Benny shook shards of glass from the leather of his jacket and prepared for the next assault. The second time, the clatter didn’t seem quite so loud. She took care not to stuff too many glass fragments into the bag with the watches, which proved trickier with the next display cabinet, where a number of low carat diamond rings rested on the velvet between the splinters. Alex was concentrating so hard on these little splinters that she overlooked the sharp edge of glass in the brass frame and cut the back of her hand.
The wound bled profusely. Without saying a word Benny tore a strip of fabric from his shirt to bind it before emptying the third display cabinet. With her bandaged hand, Alex wasn’t much use.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘It doesn’t matter. We—’ Benny broke off, turning to stone mid-sentence. ‘Did you hear that?’
Alex shrugged, but then heard the noise too. Somewhere in the building a door had slammed shut.
‘He’s on the move again,’ she whispered. ‘That can’t be right. He must still be doing his rounds outside; he won’t be going over the shop floor a second time.’
‘I wouldn’t bet on it.’ Benny grabbed another handful of rings. ‘Maybe we were too noisy. Let’s get out of here.’
He closed the two canvas bags, taking the heavier of the pair, and they started to run, with Alex, who was more familiar with the layout, leading the way. In the meantime, there were scores of night owls out and about on Tauentzienstrasse, its windows and doors barred to keep late-night window shoppers from temptation.
They had to find a rear storeroom or office window so that they could reach the access yard and get onto Ansbacher Strasse, before joining the crowds and taking the next U-Bahn train east. Same as always, except something happened that threw their plans into disarray.
The door to the southern stairwell opened, and a wedge of light fell on the shop floor. Alex jumped for cover, dragging Benny behind a wall draped with silk neckties. She thought she had seen a uniform in the door. Not the red-brown of the KaDeWe watchmen, but the dark blue of the Prussian Police.
Judging by the noise, it must be a whole squad of uniformed officers. Benny silently mouthed a word she’d have preferred to scream from the rooftops. Shit!
They would have to go via Tauentzienstrasse after all. They had no other choice. What the hell were the cops doing here anyway? Alex gave Benny a nod and led the way. Hunching slightly, using the shelves and clothes stands for cover, they worked their way through the half-dark, stretching the distance between them and the cops.
‘Police!’ someone cried. ‘We know you’re in here. Give yourselves up. You’re surrounded on all sides!’
For a few moments a light flashed, then it was bright as day. Alex ducked behind the shelf they were passing and peered around the corner. It didn’t look good. The officers had divided themselves into several groups and were systematically combing the entire floor.
She looked at Benny, who gave a helpless shrug. Not much time left. They had to do something. The lifts! The middle one was on the ground floor. Alex gestured towards the lift doors a few metres to their left and Benny nodded. It was their one chance to gain a head start; a little more time to hatch a new plan. They bent low, crawling past a long rack of trousers. The lifts were now almost within touching distance. All they had to do was break cover.
Alex heard a male voice close by. ‘Look at that mess. Let’s hope they haven’t escaped.’
‘They’re still in the building somewhere,’ said another. ‘I can feel it.’
The cops had discovered the display cabinets, distracting them for a moment. She took a deep breath before stretching an arm towards the button.
The door slid open with a soft pling. Not soft enough.
‘Stop, police!’ someone shouted. ‘Put your hands in the air and show yourselves!’
Alex pulled Benny into the open lift and pressed one of the top buttons. At least she knew how these things worked, thanks to Wertheim. The cops were already coming around the corner, shouting something like ‘stay where you are’, when the door finally closed and the lift began its ascent.
Thank God!
First things first, get onto a higher floor, distance themselves from their pursuers. It would take time for the police to get another lift down to the ground floor. She looked at Benny. At last they could talk again.
‘Shit,’ he said. ‘What are the pigs doing here?’
‘Maybe we set off an alarm.’
‘More likely they were expecting us. Waiting to catch us red-handed.’
‘They’ll have to find us first.’
‘True,’ Benny grinned. ‘I always knew you were a whiz at escaping, Alex, but where did you learn how to use a lift?’
‘There was a lift boy at Wertheim who had the hots for me.’
He nudged her in the side and laughed, even though it hadn’t been a joke. She had almost paid for that episode with the job she had lost half a year later anyway.
The lift came to a halt and the doors opened. ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached the fifth floor,’ she said.
‘Shouldn’t we go up one?’
‘Yes, but via the stairs. Then the pigs will start looking on the wrong floor.’
Benny nodded. ‘It’s best we split up. You go up one, I’ll go down one.’
‘Split up?’
‘We don’t know how many there are. To have any chance, we need to separate.’
He sounded like a general before battle. If the situation hadn’t been so serious, she would have laughed.
‘Fine,’ she said. ‘And then what?’
‘No idea. Get out of here somehow. There must be a few options in a place like this.’
‘OK. When shall we meet?’
‘Not till we’re outside. The Märchenbrunnen. At the top of every hour.’
‘Good luck, then,’ she said. ‘See you on the outside.’ She looked at him for a final time before running upstairs to the sixth floor. Their footsteps sounded further and further apart.
At the top of the stairs she paused in front of the lift door. It was only a matter of time before the night watchman switched on the sixth floor lights but, for now, it was still dark. For the first time that evening she made use of her torch, shining a light on the numbered displays above the doors. The lift on the far right was already on the way up, now passing the second floor. They were on the move. No time to lose.
Alex burst onto the shop floor in search of another escape route or, at the very least, a place to hide. Her torch beam passed over red-white floor tiles and empty glass counters: the KaDeWe snack bar, heart of the new grocery section. She crossed the floor, moving past shelves full of jam jars until, suddenly, there was nowhere else to go. She looked for an opening in the whitewashed plywood wall whose flimsiness was disguised by rows of shelves. Finally, behind a sales counter, she found an inconspicuous little door with a simple ward lock that was easy to open. She slipped inside and found a stack of planks. The place looked like a building site. She crossed the room and found a door behind which was a staircase leading upwards.
She didn’t know which way to turn, only that she couldn’t fall into the hands of her pursuers. That had been her number one rule since living on the streets: never let the cops get you! For half a year she had been scared stiff they might pick her up and hold her responsible for Beckmann’s death. Or, worse still, give her a good grilling and, in the process, discover it was her brother Karl who had shot that fucking Nazi dead; that she had just stood by and watched. Sometimes she thought it was all her fault: that she had turned her brother into a murderer, only to feel every fibre in her being protest. Because if it wasn’t for all that Red Front bullshit, Karl would never have owned a gun in the first place.
But he did own a gun, and he had fired it.
Alex switched off the torch and listened. Voices, no doubt about it, and they were growing louder. They were combing the sixth floor. Of course: they weren’t so stupid as to be deceived by the lift below. There was a flicker and then the light came on here too. Instinctively Alex eschewed the cover of the building materials and retreated inside the dark stairwell. What must the pedestrians on the street below be thinking, seeing all the floors in KaDeWe lit up just before midnight?
She put her bag over her shoulders and climbed the narrow, dark staircase, desperate to get away before the cops discovered the plywood wall and decided to look behind it.
Climbing through two attic floors she came upon a locked door that posed no problem for her skeleton key. A cold wind blew in her face. She was outside again, on a roof garden above the city. The Gedächtniskirche rose dark out of a sea of houses, and lights flashed in all colours from the urban canyons below. Traffic noise was no longer muffled by the walls of the store. The beep of a horn reminded her that life was waiting below, freedom too. How to get there? The wind was still blowing in her face, letting her know that she had ventured onto foreign terrain, and the cut on her hand was throbbing. She leaned over the parapet and looked down. The KaDeWe logo lit up the darkness, casting neon light on a steep roof with dormer windows. No chance of getting down that way. She prayed that the cops wouldn’t get it into their heads to look up here. Who would be stupid enough to escape onto the roof? Well, Alexandra Reinhold, for one, but the cops couldn’t know that.
Somehow she had to get past them, go down, right down to the bottom and out. She returned to the stairwell, closed the door behind her and stayed still for a moment, listening. Nothing. Everything was still dark. Only when she was certain that the coast was clear did she slowly descend the stairs, step by step and, having arrived below, opened the door leading back into the light. The voices could no longer be heard. Had they left? There was no one by the stack of planks, but it was strange that they weren’t looking here. They had left the light on. Alex crept towards the plywood wall and peered through a narrow crack.
There was someone by the lifts. The cops didn’t even have to search the whole building, it was enough to monitor the exits.
She retreated towards the rear of the construction area. Carefully she opened one of the windows on the western side and was startled by how loud the noise suddenly was. Hopefully it wouldn’t reach the lifts. She stretched her head out into the night air, which smelled of petrol and rainclouds, and looked around. Four metres below she could see the balcony that extended around nearly the entire fifth floor of the building, and beyond it the gaping chasm of Passauer Strasse. She could hang on to the window ledge, lower herself down as far as possible and then jump. She could make it. As she was assessing the risks, she saw a figure huddled in a window recess on the balcony. Benny.
The cops had driven the poor boy outside too. He didn’t see her, simply crouched in his hiding place, keeping the door in view. Alex closed the window. How were they going to get out of here in one piece?
The cut on her hand was still throbbing. She opened a door on the south side. Again, it was dark. Only when she was certain that she couldn’t hear footsteps or voices did she switch her torch back on and enter a long corridor. An office wing, everything new, the walls smelling of fresh plaster. Slowly she made her way along the corridor, ignoring doors on both sides, before reaching a turn to the left, perhaps leading to another stairwell. She switched off her torch after noticing a faint gleam of light from a window at the end of the corridor. Outside she caught sight of a firewall, which must have looked out onto the access yard.
Excellent work Fräulein Reinhold, just like you planned. Only a few floors too high!
It had started to rain, but Alex longed for nothing more than to stand outside in the middle of it. She stared through the window and said a quick prayer.
Dear Lord, if you should be out there somewhere listening, please get me out of here, I don’t care how, just get me out, and I’ll pay any price, even if it means going to church.
She closed her eyes and listened to the drumming of the rain. Something about the sound made her hesitate and open the window. It was making an unspeakable noise, as if someone were striking a hammer against an anvil again and again. Alex poked her head outside and thought she must be dreaming. At that moment, she believed she had her prayer to thank for it. A fire escape! Iron steps led down floor by floor to the yard.
She packed her torch, shouldered her bag, stepped onto the grating and looked down. A fleet of lorries and delivery trucks was parked in perfect formation, otherwise the courtyard was empty—not a blue uniform in sight. The cops had overlooked the fire escape.
Alex gripped the damp, cold handrail and descended the wobbly steel staircase step by step, keeping the windows and yard in view. The wind blew rain in her face and the steel structure swayed and squealed under her feet, but she inched ever closer to the ground. She was dripping wet, with her bandage soaked through and her bag growing heavier by the minute until, at last, she reached the bottom.
If only she could tell Benny about the fire exit, but hopefully his luck would be in too. Using the delivery trucks as cover, she made her way to the entrance onto Passauer Strasse. The great iron gate was locked, but she’d been expecting that. She took out her picklock and, though she was shivering slightly and needed a little longer than usual, soon had it cracked.
The gate squeaked as she opened it just enough to slip through. And then she was outside. Free at last!
Never had she enjoyed listening to traffic quite so much. She sucked in the air greedily, as if only now could she breathe again after surfacing from a long dive. The rain had stopped. There wasn’t much happening on Passauer Strasse, just a few hurried pedestrians snapping shut their umbrellas, and two or three cars splashing through puddles. No one paid her any attention. She tilted her head back and looked at the department store front, the crowning feature of which was the giant neon sign here on Passauer Strasse. Lit up at night like this, the store had a festive, almost Christmassy feel. She thought of Benny and, in the same moment, saw him clambering on the balcony’s steel railings. What on earth was he doing there? He didn’t seem to have moved very far from his previous hiding place, where she had caught sight of him moments before.
He stood on the balcony ledge, outside the railings. Alex caught her breath. The ledge could only be a foot wide. Surely he wasn’t thinking of climbing down, not with the heavy bag on his shoulders. But that’s what it looked like. Quick as a flash Benny crouched, facing inwards as he gripped the ledge with both hands, gradually lowering his body until he hung, legs dangling, a dark shadow against the narrow, illuminated windows. His feet were too far from the next ledge; he’d never make it down. A gasp of horror made her turn. Behind her stood a thin man with metal-rimmed spectacles and bowler hat, craning his neck.
A police officer appeared in silhouette above the railings, the star on his shako flashing briefly in the light. Benny was hanging from the balcony to hide, not to escape. The building’s front was his final resort, but the cop must have seen him. He was leaning over the railings as if he knew someone was there.
Alex ought to have fled, but couldn’t, and stood on Passauer Strasse as if rooted to the spot.
‘The cops are there already,’ Alex heard the man in metal-rimmed spectacles say. ‘Why on earth would you jump from KaDeWe?’
Alex couldn’t see exactly what was happening, only that the officer was now next to Benny, having also climbed over the railing. Did he mean to help him up? It seemed not. He tilted his head forwards as if speaking. Benny seemed to be saying something too, though Alex couldn’t make out what.
Benny gave a cry, making her start. Was his strength deserting him? Surely not! Give yourself up, she thought. Climb back up and turn yourself in.
The cop’s head was still tilted forwards and, for a brief moment, Alex made out his face in the glow of the sign. He was grimacing furiously. What on earth was going on? Had Benny shot his mouth off again? For a second time she heard him cry, more drawn out now, and desperate. He sounded like the boy he was, rather than the man he wanted to be.
She was holding her head at such an angle that her neck hurt, but, still, she couldn’t look away. Why had he let go with his right hand? How was he supposed to hold on, with just one hand plus the heavy bag on his shoulders? She stared and stared and couldn’t believe what she saw. Until at last she understood.
No scream, no cry. He fell silently through the night.
There was a thud like a sack of potatoes falling from a truck and, at the same time, a mighty crack. Then everything was quiet.
She snapped out of her trance to see Benny not ten metres away, painfully contorted and motionless on the ground. She rushed to his side. Hardly any blood, strangely. Benny’s eyes were closed. There was someone wheezing behind her. The man with the metal-rimmed spectacles was staring goggle-eyed.
‘Call an ambulance!’ she hissed, but the man shrugged his shoulders helplessly and made himself scarce.
Alex leaned towards Benny and heard him rasping. He was still alive!
She kneeled on the pavement, laid his head on her knees and stroked his hair. He opened his eyes; his breathing became quicker and quicker.
‘Alex,’ he said.
‘Try not to talk. There’s an ambulance on its way.’
‘I’m sorry, Alex, I messed up.’
‘No!’
‘I couldn’t … I couldn’t hold on any longer. He was standing on my fingers.’ There was a wheezing sound as Benny tried to catch his breath. He was finding it hard to speak.
‘Don’t talk so much, Benny, don’t talk so much.’
‘Get out of here … or they’ll catch you. These are bad people…’
She looked skywards to where the cop was staring down. He said something to his colleague and gestured towards her, towards Alex and Benny on Passauer Strasse below. The other cop began speaking animatedly, seeming to curse his partner. That wouldn’t do any good now.
Benny took another breath and, again, there was a wheezing in his lungs. Dark blood suddenly streamed from his mouth.
‘Benny!’ she cried. ‘Hold on. Hold on!’
He tried to smile. ‘Promise you’ll go dancing with me sometime.’
‘I promise.’
The interval between his breaths became shorter and shorter. Alex wiped at the blood with her sleeve. Benny gazed at her wistfully the whole time, as if preparing to say goodbye. He closed his eyes.
‘Don’t give up, do you hear me, don’t give up! The ambulance will be here soon.’ Benny’s wheezing became more and more frenetic until suddenly it stopped, as if someone had switched off a machine. ‘No,’ Alex screamed. ‘No! You can’t just die! I won’t let you!’
She let his head sink slowly onto the pavement and looked around. A few rubberneckers had made their way over from Tauentzienstrasse. The man with the metal-rimmed spectacles hadn’t reappeared, nor was there any sign of an ambulance, but a group of uniformed officers emerged from a discreet side door of KaDeWe.
She swallowed her tears and ran.
‘Stop that boy! He’s one of them!’
Alex didn’t turn around. She knew she was being chased. She had to steer clear of pedestrians, screaming at an elegant lady to move aside and forcing her into the window grilles, before running towards the throng of people surging down Tauentzienstrasse. Find cover there and disappear. A whistle sounded behind her, and someone shouted.
‘Stop! Police!’
She kept running, straight across the pavement onto Tauentzienstrasse past tooting cars. A taxi screeched to a halt, but Alex paid no heed. After what had happened to Benny, she feared for her life. She threw herself sideways in front of a tram, whose driver sounded the warning bell, crossed the central reservation, and followed the electric train as it juddered eastwards. Her gaze fell on the warning sign, which strictly forbade passengers from jumping aboard while the train was in motion. She leapt onto the moving platform and squeezed herself into the car. The windows on the other side were more or less obscured by her fellow passengers, but not quite completely. There they were, her two pursuers, waiting for the tram to go past as it took the bend on the Wittenbergplatz approach.
Alex jostled her way inside and looked at the sign: the number six, going towards Schöneberg. Not ideal, but if she got out again at Wittenbergplatz there was a good chance they’d spot her. The tram stopped, with more people getting off than on, and her cover grew thinner. She kept glancing out of the window, but could no longer see any blue uniforms. The last passenger to board was a fat man, whom she moved towards straightaway, taking cover behind him, keeping the doors in view.
A bell sounded and the train moved off. As it picked up speed, metre by metre, Alex felt her tension dissolve. She had shaken them off!
Suddenly she felt the cut on her hand throbbing again. The blood had already seeped through the temporary bandage Benny had tied an hour or so ago, and grief came over her like a wild animal. Tears streamed down her face and soon she was crying uncontrollably for the first time in years.
Only when she wiped the tears on her sleeve did she realise that everyone in the car was staring at her. ‘What are you looking at?’ she shouted, and the people, who had been gazing at her in sympathy, returned to whatever it was they were doing before.
Copyright © 2010 by Volker Kutscher
English translation copyright © 2018 by Niall Sellar
