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UNLOCK YOUR MOTIVATION
When you think about quitting, think about why you started.
Motivation just might be the holy grail for weight loss and for many other of life’s challenging endeavors. Motivation is the X factor, that special ingredient on which the success of the entire recipe stands. You can have the best diet plan ever created, as many trainers as money can buy, private chefs at your beck and call, but if you don’t have motivation to start and follow, success will only be a distant pipe dream. Every year, thousands of people purchase diet books and gym memberships, then never once crack the book or cross the turnstile. Without motivation, the best intentions are merely creations of one’s imagination. If you want to have at least something of a chance to win the game, then you can’t stay on the sidelines wondering what it would be like to get your chance to take a swing.
Motivation is not something that can be gifted, learned, or copied; rather it’s something that must come from within. Motivation is extremely personal, not something that others can prescribe for you or define for you. Unfortunately, for most people, finding it can seem like an endless search. The truth, however, is that all of us actually possess motivation, but not everyone knows how to unlock it. The mission of this chapter is to help you find and unlock that motivation and understand how to keep it alive and readily accessible. But first let’s take a look at the concept of change and its stages that can put you on the road to long-term weight loss success.
In the early 1980s, two well-known researchers, Prochaska and DiClemente, looked at smokers who were able to quit on their own and compared them to smokers who required further treatment. Their study question was quite simple: Why could some quit on their own and others couldn’t? The centerpiece of their findings was that people quit smoking if they were ready to do so. Given their examination through various studies, the researchers developed something called the Transtheoretical Model (TTM), also referred to as the Stages of Change Model. This is a model of intentional change and focuses on the decision-making of the individual. After all these years, this model is still applicable and widely used by therapists helping clients and patients make successful behavioral changes.
The TTM assumes that people don’t change behaviors quickly, that change is continuous and occurs in a cyclical process. Studies have shown that people move through a series of stages when modifying their behavior. The original five stages of the model are: precontemplation (not ready), contemplation (getting ready), preparation (ready), action, and maintenance.
• PRECONTEMPLATION. People in this stage simply are not ready and don’t intend to take action in the foreseeable future (usually the next six months). At this point, people are often unaware that their behavior is problematic or can result in negative consequences. They tend to think that others are exaggerating how seriously problematic their behavior is or can be. Precontemplation can seem like reluctance, resistance to being told what to do, resignation to fate by giving up hope that change can occur, or rationalization of behavior. Precontemplators have “all” the answers as to why they don’t need to change what they’re doing.
• CONTEMPLATION. People in this stage recognize that their behavior is problematic and that there is hope for change. These people tend to be on the fence. They are open to the possibility of change but aren’t completely convinced and haven’t made the actual decision to change. There is an intention to change within the next six months, but beyond that, there is no real definition to the commitment. Contemplators are vulnerable to reverting to the precontemplation phase.
• PREPARATION. This is the stage where things really start to happen. This is the stage of readiness. People are committed and intend to take immediate action (typically within the next month). Those in this stage begin to take small steps toward the larger behavior change, and they now truly believe that changing their behavior can lead to a healthier life. All their ambivalence has not been completely resolved, but no longer is it a barrier to change. People will have a plan of action, such as signing up at a gym or purchasing a structured diet plan. When someone is in preparation phase, they are now ready for action-oriented programs.
• ACTION. This is the stage where people get busy. People have recently changed their behavior (defined as within the last six months) and have serious intentions of continuing to move forward with the change or changes they have made. Those in the midst of action will have shown a modification of their problematic behavior(s) or have begun to acquire healthy new behaviors.
• MAINTENANCE. People in this stage are pretty far down the road of commitment and action. They have made specific lifestyle changes and are working to prevent a relapse. In the maintenance stage people grow increasingly confident that they can continue to pursue change and not slip back into one of the previous stages.
It’s important to identify what stage you’re in before starting your program. If you are in the precontemplation phase, it’s essential that you are honest with yourself. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. It’s very normal to say that you want to lose weight, but there can be lots of reasons why you simply aren’t ready to do so. The important thing here is that you don’t start. Trying to start a program when you aren’t ready for the change and your motivation isn’t where it needs to be will most likely be a futile exercise destined for failure. At the end of this chapter you will have an opportunity to figure out your readiness for change.
Some people spend significant time in the contemplation phase, considering their options and trying to figure things out. Others, however, move through this phase relatively quickly and enter the preparation phase. Many fail in their selected diet program, not because the plan they’ve picked is ineffective, but because they simply started it at a time when they weren’t convinced they could achieve success, or they weren’t ready to begin the changes necessary for the plan to work. The process of changing one’s lifestyle and behavior requires the alignment of many factors that work in a chain reaction, and the lead domino is timing.
ARE YOU READY TO CHANGE?
One of the most studied and accepted questionnaires for determining readiness for change is the University of Rhode Island Change Assessment Scale (URICA). This thirty-two-item self-report measure is simple to take and can give you substantial insight into where you fall in the stages of change. I have slightly modified the questionnaire to make it more specific to our purposes.
Score each statement in the columns below:
Add the scores in each column. Divide each column’s total score by seven to get your average for that column. Add all the averages together to get your total readiness score.
MOTIVATION BREAKDOWN
What is motivation? Motivation can be defined as the desire or reason(s) that stimulates, guides, and maintains one’s pursuit toward a specific goal or goals. Motivation can be viewed as having three distinct stages:
Stage I: The inner need or drive to do something.
Stage II: A stimulation that arouses this need or drive. For example, you might read a story about someone who overcomes incredible odds.
Stage III: The feeling of satisfaction once the need has been met. You reach your goals and feel a sense of satisfaction.
For the purposes of a weight loss journey, motivation can be broken down into two major categories: intrinsic and extrinsic. Understanding both and their differences is critical to how you find and unlock your motivation, which can help push and carry you along on this transformative journey.
INTRINSIC MOTIVATION
Intrinsic motivation centers around behaviors that are driven by internal rewards. The driving force to engage in a particular behavior comes from within the individual because the behavior itself brings them satisfaction. Intrinsic motivation occurs without any obvious external rewards. For example, someone reads a thriller written by their favorite author while on vacation, because they love the main character and the types of stories the author weaves. This page-turner is extremely engaging and satisfying. The reader has no extrinsic motivation to read this story, instead they are driven purely by the desire to enjoy the process and experience. This is quintessential intrinsic motivation, and there are several ways to boost it.
• SET CHALLENGING GOALS. You can become more motivated when the goal you’re pursuing has personal meaning that makes you feel strongly about accomplishing it. Goals that stretch your ability but are still attainable can also increase your inner drive. Children who are more advanced than their peers can be demotivated when the teacher is giving them work that’s too easy. They don’t feel the challenge, so they have less of a drive to diligently complete the assignment or take interest in what comes next. A properly defined challenge that is not too difficult to overcome can be a motivation accelerator.
• BE IN CONTROL. Having independent control of the goals you choose to pursue can make a difference when it comes to enhancing your internal motivation. When you feel like you have autonomy over your life’s direction and your personal environment, you are more likely to be determined to accomplish what you set out to do. Control is empowering, so when you are in charge of deciding what’s important and relevant, you feel a greater responsibility and opportunity to achieve what you set out to accomplish.
• ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR EFFORTS. Be willing to acknowledge to yourself how good you feel about setting your goals and reaching them. If motivation is the fire that makes us burn, self-acknowledgment is the fan that can make us burn brighter. Humility is an important attribute in all that you do and how you carry yourself, but there’s no harm in acknowledging truth, especially when that truth is a positive reflection of who you are and what you’re accomplishing.
• HELP AND COMPETE. Finding and engaging in situations where you can help someone else can have a positive impact on your intrinsic motivation. There is something about selflessness that fires up the brain’s reward-seeking loop and prompts us to make it a priority. Competing can be a tricky scenario when it comes to enhancing motivation, but it’s been shown that when you’re able to compare your performance favorably to that of others, you are more motivated to continue your efforts.
• INTRINSIC MOTIVATORS •
Fun/pleasureSatisfactionGratificationFeelings of worthinessFeelings of accomplishmentSense of purposePrideDeveloping a masteryEXTRINSIC MOTIVATION
When motivation arises from outside the person and is driven by the desire for external rewards such as money or fame, it is considered external motivation. It goes back to understanding why you’re doing something in the first place. If you’re reading a geography book because you want to do well on your geography test, then that is considered to be extrinsic motivation, because the test performance is what’s motivating you to study and learn. If you’re reading about geography because you simply want to better understand the physical relationship between countries because it interests you, then that’s considered to be intrinsic motivation.
One of the advantages of having extrinsic motivation is that even if the activity or task at hand isn’t enjoyable, you’re likely to continue to do it because you want the reward that comes with the completion of the task. Homework can often be unpleasurable for students, but they do it because they want a good grade in the class. A musician will practice the same song for hours trying to get all the notes right, not because it’s necessarily fun, but because she wants to perform well at her concert.
Extrinsic motivation is used in all kinds of situations, and for many it’s just what they need. But this type of motivation can also backfire. It’s called the “overjustification effect,” and it happens when excessive rewards lead to a decrease in intrinsic motivation. Imagine someone who does a voluntary internship at a veterinary hospital because they want to help care for needy animals. After a few months, the hospital hires the intern to a full-time job and pays him a salary. He is excited that he’s now making money and comes to work every day, not because he just wants the satisfaction of helping animals, but because he wants that weekly paycheck that’s now allowing him to go out often with his friends. If the hospital suddenly ran into financial hardship and couldn’t pay him any longer, would he still come in to help for free as he did as an intern and would he bring the same level of enthusiasm? According to research, it’s highly doubtful that he would. Once the overjustification effect occurs, it’s very rare for someone to return to intrinsic motivation.
It’s the proper balance of intrinsic and extrinsic motivators that seem to form a recipe for motivational success. Do your best to find the combination of those that work for you and put them to work.
• EXTRINSIC MOTIVATORS •
FamePraiseGradesMoneyAwards/trophiesSocial acceptanceMaterial rewardsGetting promotedFeelings of superiorityFINDING MOTIVATION AFTER FAILURE
Failure can be the end of the road for desire, but only if you let it. It’s not always easy to have great ambitions and hopes only to find them crushed when you don’t meet your objectives. It’s important that you find your motivation so that you can get back on track and working toward your goals. One of the first things you should do is restate the purpose behind the objectives you’re trying to achieve. “I’m trying to lose weight so that my blood sugar levels are lowered and I won’t have to go on medications.” It’s important to remember the “why” when you’re trying to figure out the “how.” Next, think about the reasons why you failed in the first place. List those reasons carefully, then decide which of those things were in your control and which were out of your control. Focus on those things that you could control, as those are the places where you have an opportunity to do it over again and make improvements. Once you’ve made this assessment, then it’s time to move on and not dwell on your shortcomings.
It’s important to look at failure as the spark for a new beginning, a launching pad that will propel you toward your goals, whether new or old. Adopt a positive mind-set and develop new strategies that will help you accomplish your objectives. Block out the negative thoughts that accompany failure and replace them with thoughts of belief and determination as you make adjustments and accept your missteps as temporary setbacks that you can definitely overcome.
Try these simple exercises to recapture your motivation:
1. FIND A PLACE THAT AWAKENS YOUR ENTHUSIASM. Locate an environment that stimulates and motivates you to reach your goals. It might be a hike in the woods or walk along a quiet beach. Find that place that inspires you to go for it, and makes you feel confident that you can achieve what you’re setting out to do.
2. CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESSES. Regardless of how big or small, savor and appreciate your victories. When you build on the excitement that comes with success, you build momentum to keep going and achieve results.
3. JUST DO IT. Sometimes our thoughts remain head-locked, and we are unable to advance from thinking about an idea and actually doing it. Stop making excuses, stop overanalyzing, and stop putting it off for the future. Whether it’s writing a book you’ve been contemplating for a while, beginning a fitness routine, or starting a small business, stop thinking about it and just start doing it. Engagement begets more engagement.
4. ADJUST YOUR FOCUS. Sometimes what you’re focusing on can impact how you feel and your drive to accomplish your goals. How you adjust your focus can be key to how you feel about yourself and what you’re trying to achieve. Readjusting your focus can distract you from negative thoughts and clear space in your head to fill with positivity that can inspire you to not give up and continue marching toward your goals.
5. FIND OTHER VICTORIES. It’s possible to be so engrossed and absorbed in the process of accomplishing something that your energy and creativity can be exhausted. Find victories in areas unrelated to your goals. The excitement of achieving can create momentum that propels you to become engaged and succeed in other tasks you might’ve lost interest in or felt were too difficult to achieve.
STAYING MOTIVATED
Finding and defining your motivation is half the battle, but the other half is being able to stay motivated. The New Year’s weight loss and exercise crush is a prime example of a battle only half won. Millions of people flood the grocery stores and gyms with a new outlook on their health destiny and life in general. They come up with all kinds of reasons why they want to eat better, lose weight, and get more fit. However, several weeks go by and the enthusiasm starts to dim and the motivation starts fading.
According to U.S. News & World Report, approximately 80% of resolutions fail by the second week of February. Millions of people who started with good intentions and plans that if followed for the long term would be very effective, quickly find themselves on the sidelines falling back into their old mind-set and behaviors. Why? What changed since they made that serious commitment to do better and adopt a healthier lifestyle? There can be many reasons for this relapse, but a major one is the loss of motivation. So how can you stay motivated and on track? Different strategies work for different people, but here are some that have proven successful for many.
CREATE A REAL PLAN
Part of getting off to a good start is having a good, structured diet and exercise plan to follow. You have the book or the app and you’ve read what you’ll be required to do. Next, it’s important to sit down and develop an overall strategy that incorporates your specific goals as well as what you need to get there. This gives your vision form and helps you better crystallize in your mind and on paper what needs to be done to meet your smaller milestones. Just the process of sitting down and articulating your plans can be a motivator, because your vision moves beyond just a collection of thoughts in your head and is now an actionable plan that’s tangible and specific. Once you’ve completed this larger plan, break it into a weekly plan. This should not be a time-consuming process. Just ten solid minutes and you should have your marching orders written down or typed into your computer or phone. For example, it might look something like this:
WEEK 1
Exercise 3 times this week for at least 30 minutes each session.Eat 5 servings of fruits and/or veggies each day.Ride the bike 2 times this week for 2 miles each riding session.Bring a homemade lunch to work at least 3 times.Check in with a weight loss buddy to catch up on things.Replace a solid meal with a shake or smoothie 5 times.Once you’ve established a simple game plan for the week, then it’s time to quickly break that up into a daily plan. Having specific instructions or goals you need to meet every day in a form that you can see and touch and consult throughout the day can make a big difference in keeping you organized, motivated, and on track. Your daily plan might look something like this:
MONDAY
Go to the gym in the morning. Ride the bike for 10 minutes with resistance level of 7. Walk 1 mile on the treadmill at a speed of 3.5 mph, then increase it to 4.0 mph for the second mile.Take a salad with diced chicken to work. Pack a small bag of almonds and 3 cups of air-popped popcorn.Meet up with a friend who works on another floor and take a 10-minute walk at lunch.Purchase two 5-pound dumbbells to use for walks.Do 5 sets of stairwell climbs before dinner.Eat a vegetarian plate for dinner: black beans, broccoli, squash, and carrots.REDUCE PROCRASTINATION
There is great truth to the adage “Procrastination is the mother of failure.” The process of putting things off for another time or finding excuses why you shouldn’t begin or complete an action is debilitating and the reason why so many opportunities are missed, and plans fail. Most often, procrastinators find it more difficult to start the task than to complete it once started. You know you need to get up and go to the basement to exercise, but you can’t pull yourself out of bed or away from your computer. You keep giving yourself another five minutes, then before you know it, an hour has gone by and then it’s time to do something else, and you totally blow the exercise session.
Give yourself the fifteen-minute rule. Set a timer on your watch, alarm clock, or your phone. Once it goes off in fifteen minutes, you must get up and begin the task that you need to complete. But before you begin that task, set your timer for another fifteen minutes. Whatever it is you’re doing, you can’t stop until those fifteen minutes have elapsed. You’ll be surprised to find that often when those fifteen minutes are up, you want to continue to perform the task for even longer. And if you don’t, the amount you’ve been able to accomplish in those fifteen minutes may surprise you. We all waste a lot of time avoiding or worrying about things we’re putting off rather than plunging right into what we need to do and getting on with it. When you actually get into the groove, your mind-set changes, endorphins—the body’s natural happy chemicals—are released, and the task that you thought was too onerous to perform becomes enjoyable and you’re motivated to do even a little more than you originally intended.
Sometimes it behooves you to even be early rather than on time. Not having to rush or feel like you’re just making it can be critical to your mental approach to the tasks that lie ahead of you. This can create motivational momentum whereby your head is clear, your intentions are strong, and you get swept up into the feeling that you can achieve. You’re now excited to do what comes next. The more space you are able to create to work within, the more likely you are to complete what’s necessary and not feel the pinch of time. It’s no surprise that when a person is rushed, they often don’t perform their best, take shortcuts, or simply can’t get everything completed. Organizing your time and getting up and being proactive can become self-perpetuating motivation.
SET GOALS WITH ACHIEVABLE MILESTONES
Goals are of no real value if they can’t be achieved. Chapter 2 will teach you how to effectively set goals, but it’s important to understand that for the purposes of motivation, clearly defined, attainable goals can be a key motivator. It’s also important to break these goals into smaller milestones. For example, your overall goal might be to drop your body fat percentage from 25% to 19%. Let’s say this might take six to eight weeks to accomplish. It’s fine to have that overall number of a 6% drop, but on a weekly basis, you should have smaller milestones that you can hit and feel a sense of accomplishment. A weekly milestone chart might look something like this:
• TOTAL GOAL: 6% body fat drop •
START: 25%
END GOAL: 19%
Week 1: 1% dropWeek 2: 2% dropWeek 3: 0% dropWeek 4: 1% dropWeek 5: 1% dropWeek 6: 0% dropWeek 7: 0.5% dropWeek 8: 0.5% dropWhen you can see improvement every week and it’s confirmable, that becomes a motivator for you to continue. There is satisfaction that you achieved your goal that week, and this generates excitement and confidence to move on to the next. In some cases, seeing your progress spelled out in front of you might even propel you to surpass your weekly milestone, because a competitiveness is stoked inside you to achieve even more at a faster rate. Sometimes you will miss your incremental milestone. Rather than focus on your disappointment, consider whether it’s better to adjust the milestone or identify the reasons why you missed the milestone and make the necessary changes to your strategy or execution of your plan.
REDUCE DISTRACTIONS
It’s difficult to stay motivated when your attention is constantly being pulled in all kinds of directions. Cell phones, iPads, computers, social media—so many devices and services are tugging at our senses, time, and energy for most of our waking hours. We’re checking our emails or scrolling through social media right until the moment we close our eyes to go to sleep at night. This sensory overload of being constantly turned on makes it difficult to stay focused and motivated. We spread ourselves too thin and pack our waking hours with so much “other stuff” that we have less time to dedicate to the activities that will keep us on track and making progress toward our goals.
Time is finite, so you have to be wise and judicious in how you use it. Even when you don’t think you’re being distracted, there are so many things in the background that are working on your subconscious, whether it’s a TV, music, or a computer screen with all its blinking lights and scrolling banners. You must be proactive and take action. Every day you should carve out a block of time where you go dark and turn it all off or get away from it all. It might start with just an hour each day, but over the course of several weeks, you might be able to get it up to several hours. This would be a big accomplishment. Once you have taken back control of this time, you can use it constructively to focus on the activities that will bring you closer to reaching your goals or even relieve you of the stress that’s blocking your sense of fulfillment and happiness. Streamlining your life and reducing all those superfluous activities and time captivators can open windows of opportunity that you forgot existed or were too distracted to notice.
MEDITATE
When people see the word “meditate,” they often think of a dark room with incense burning and soft instrumental music piping in softly from hidden speakers. While this might be a nice environment to practice meditation, by no means is it a requirement. Meditation can take place when you’re crammed between bodies in a hot subway car just as it can while you’re sitting under a tree in the mountains. Sure, a quiet isolated environment is often more conducive to encouraging and achieving a meditative state, but with practice and focus, the same state can be achieved in that packed subway car.
Meditation is a skill you must learn, just as you learn to ride a bike or play an instrument. It takes practice and time to truly get the hang of it. It is also a skill that can evolve. Meditation is all about being present in the moment, aligning your physical being with the spiritual. You are trying to get clear perspective on your thoughts, feelings, and your relationship to the world around you. It’s not about passing judgment on these things, but rather learning how to understand them.
When you reach that meditative state, you can block out distractions, quiet the chatter not only in the environment but also in your mind. There are different types of meditation, and they are associated with different effects. Here are some of the more common types:
1. MINDFULNESS. This is all about being aware and present in the moment. Forget about what’s happened in the past or your thoughts or desires for the future. The focus is on the here and now and your existing surroundings. It’s critical that you don’t make judgments; rather, just make an assessment of the situation.
2. ZEN. This form involves specific steps and postures and is often taught by an instructor who has studied the practice extensively. This is similar to mindfulness but requires more discipline, and given the specificity of the steps involved, it can also take longer to learn and more practice. The overall goal is to find a comfortable position that allows you to observe your thoughts without judgment and focus on your breathing.
3. LOVING-KINDNESS. The goal of this meditation form is as its name implies—to nourish and cultivate the attitude and spirit of love and kindness toward everything. You are trying to develop feelings where you wish happiness and well-being for everyone—even those who you don’t like or have had conflict with in the past.
4. TRANSCENDENTAL. This is believed to be one of the simplest and most natural techniques. The goal of this form is to rise or transcend above your current state of being. You repeat a mantra (a usually meaningless sound or series of words) that commands your attention while your body falls effortlessly into silence.
5. BODY SCAN. The goal of this technique is to synchronize the body and mind such that you are totally relaxed and stress is released. Some describe it as imagining a photocopier slowly moving over your body from head to toe and you become aware of all the sensations, discomfort, tightness, and aches that might exist. You learn what you’re feeling and where you’re feeling it, then release it from your mind and body.
CREATE A VISION BOARD
A vision board is the physical representation of what you envision your success looks like. This is an extremely effective method for keeping your motivation at the top of mind. Take your goals and dreams and find photographic representations of them. You might want to visit the Great Pyramid of Giza one day and cruise the Nile River. You might want to sit atop the Eiffel Tower and have dinner overlooking the lights of Paris. Maybe you want to own a sports car. Maybe there’s a dress, suit, or pair of jeans that you want to fit into. Even a beautiful view from atop a hill that you want to be able to climb without getting winded. It might even be a ride at an amusement park that you haven’t been able to enjoy because you can’t fit into the seat. Whatever your dreams are, find photographs of them, print them out, then pin them to a cork board in your office, tape them to your bedroom closet door, or even post them on your refrigerator with magnets. Vision boards can also be digital. Find pictures and save them in your phone in a vision album, or collect them all in one place on a Pinterest page. Cut out pictures from magazines or newspapers or print them out from the internet and paste them to a vision page in your diary or journal.
Your vision board can also include dreams or goals you’ve already reached. You could divide your board in half and put pictures of your achievements on one side and what you still hope to accomplish on the other. As you reach your goals, move those items to the other half of the board. The fuller the accomplished side grows, the more motivated you will become to complete more feats and move them across the board.
CREATE A REASONS LIST
Too often we choose to make changes or pursue goals not because it’s something we feel passionate about, but because others expect us to do it or we’re just following the crowd. It’s extremely important to identify and list reasons for why you plan to set out on this journey. These should be your own reasons—not the reasons that others have created for you. There are times in life when it’s okay to do something to appease others, but this is not one of them. Your reasons must have important meaning to you, and some of them should connect to the essence of who you are and what you want to be. For true motivation to be effective and sustainable, it must be rooted in truth and authenticity.
Regardless of how great your intentions or how promising the plan you’ve chosen, doubt will inevitably raise its head at some unexpected turn along your journey. This doesn’t make you weak or less well intentioned. It makes you human. Doubt, in some instances, can be a motivator itself. But if you feel like the road is too long or the energy and discipline required of you is too great, then you need something to push you back in the arena. This is why you have that list of reasons. When you are on the verge of quitting, sit down and thoughtfully read the list of why you started in the first place.
• ACTION PLAN •
1. Take the change assessment to see where you are in your readiness to change.
2. Create your vision board.
3. List 5 reasons why you want to take this journey.
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4. Write down 3 things that have motivated you in the past. __________________
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5. Identify and write down at least 2 intrinsic motivators and 2 extrinsic motivators pushing you to make a change. __________________
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6. Write down at least 3 motivational strategies that will help keep you on track.__________________
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7. Create 1 or 2 aphorisms that you can repeat. ______
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Copyright © 2020 by Ian K. Smith.
