CHAPTER 1
CHICKEN BISCUITS
In the realm of Midgard, Sven and Olga sat down for a picnic. The sun was bright, and the field was green. It was a lovely day.
Then came the ants.
It started with the smell of hot peppers wafting on the breeze. Next, there was a rumbling sound and a cloud of smoke in the distance. Sven’s face went pale. Olga grabbed her picnic basket, waving it at the ants and saying, “Shoo! Shoo!”
But the ants came swarming closer.
No ordinary ants were these—they were the Fire Ants of Jotunheim, a horde of bugs the size of bison. Flames spurted from their mandibles.
Though the weather was clear, suddenly a thunderbolt struck the ground. The ants stopped in their tracks. A winged girl and a golden chicken dropped from the sky, landing in front of Olga and Sven.
“Thundercluck! Brunhilde!” Sven exclaimed. “Thank the gods you’re here!”
The Valkyrie Brunhilde gave him a wink, then lowered her helmet’s visor.
The mighty chicken Thundercluck stepped forward. He spread his wings and addressed the ants. “Bagah! Buk-buk-buk.” If you leave in peace, we’ll have no quarrel, he thought. But if you attack my friends, you might leave in pieces!
The biggest ant twitched its antennae and pumped its neck. It shot a fireball straight at Thundercluck. He ducked behind his wing as the fire swept over him. It left him singed, but not burned.
It’ll take more than that to cook this chicken, he thought, leaping in to attack.
Brunhilde followed suit. Lightning crackled from the chicken’s wings, and beams of light blasted from the Valkyrie’s blade. The ants staggered back. They launched more fireballs, but Brunhilde blocked them with her glowing shield.
The leading ant made a chattering sound, and the swarm retreated. They fled the field and were gone.
* * *
Elsewhere, a large man-pig wandered through a dark forest. He carried a sack, and every few steps he paused to look under leaves. With each check, he said, “Nope, nuthin’ there neither, Mr. Boss.”
He stopped at the base of a gnarly tree and scratched his back against it. A silky voice above him called, “You there!”
The man-pig jumped and looked up. A horned owl perched on a branch with her head completely sideways. “Tell me your name,” she said. Then she batted her eyelids and added, “I mean, hoo, who are you?”
The man-pig gave a little wave and said, “Muh name’s War-Tog.”
“And what are you doing in my forest, War-Tog?” asked the owl.
War-Tog shifted his eyes and said, “Lookin’ … for stuff.”
“I see,” said the owl, and she squinted at the sack he carried. “What’s in that bag?”
War-Tog looked nervous and said, “I’m not s’posed to tell nobody.”
“Oh, but you can trust me,” said the owl. “We’re both talking animals!”
War-Tog scratched his head and said, “That makes sense.”
An angry voice from inside the sack said, “No, it doesn’t! Don’t you dare pull me out, you swine!”
The owl swooped down and ripped the sack with her talons. A big, round object tumbled out, but War-Tog caught it. It was a skull. A skull with a mustache. And a chef’s hat.
The owl fluttered toward War-Tog and the skull. With a puff of black smoke, she transformed into a woman in a crimson cloak.
From War-Tog’s hairy hands, the skull frowned and said, “Medda. You shape-shifting show-off. I should’ve known it was you.”
“Gorman Bones,” she replied. “Have you forgotten our deal?”
* * *
Back at the picnic site, Thundercluck and Brunhilde sat down with Olga and Sven.
“Bless you both,” Olga said. “Please, have some biscuits with us!”
Thundercluck had worked up an appetite, and he happily dug in.
“These were made with love,” Sven said. “And also butter. It’s a magic recipe, and they’ll always stay fresh!”
“This is nice,” Brunhilde said, “but we’d better get back to Asgard. Heimdall told us not to stay out too long.”
Thundercluck stared wistfully at his half-eaten biscuit.
“Please, take these with you,” Olga said. She wrapped some biscuits in a cloth and tucked them into Thundercluck’s backpack. She patted his head and said, “You’re a good chicken.”
Sven nodded and said, “Say hi to your mother for me!”
“All right, warrior bird,” Brunhilde said. “Want to learn how to use the Bifrost? To get back to Asgard, raise your wing and think about home.”
Thundercluck did so, and a rainbow beam carried the heroes away.
* * *
Back in the forest, Gorman’s skull stammered, “Well, er, about our deal. Of course I didn’t forget. I’ve just been busy, that’s all.”
“So I’ve heard,” Medda replied. “I know all about your little plot—except for War-Tog here, your army fled, spreading the story of your failure far and wide.” She leaned closer to Gorman’s skull and added, “If it’s any comfort, they seem happier without you.”
“Aw, gee,” War-Tog said. “That’s nice to hear, huh, Mr. Boss? Boss?”
Gorman scowled.
Medda patted War-Tog’s head, her fingernails as sharp as claws. “Such a loyal pig. Such a simple mind.” She smirked at Gorman. “Since our conditions have changed, I propose a new deal.”
“What do you want?” Gorman asked.
“Something’s gone missing in Asgard,” Medda said. In an icy voice, she whispered, “The Asgardians shall seek it, but I’ll make it my own … and then I’ll make them suffer.”
CHAPTER 2
THE MISSING BOOK
The heroes returned to the holy realm of Asgard. As they stepped down from the Bifrost, a friendly voice called, “Well met, feathered friends!”
It was Heimdall, the watchman of the gods. He had sent them to save the picnic. With his magic sight, he could peer across any distance and into any realm.
“Hi,” Brunhilde said. “Everything here still safe?”
Mere weeks had passed since Thundercluck and Brunhilde had defeated Gorman Bones, saving the realms from certain doom. Asgard still rejoiced. Each new day the heroes reveled in fanfare, festivities, and free dessert at most restaurants.
“All’s well,” Heimdall answered, “but you’ve both been summoned to Valhalla’s gymnasium. The gods want you to start advanced battle training. They’re calling it … the Gym Class of Eternal Struggle.”
“Always something, huh?” Brunhilde said. She patted Thundercluck’s shoulder.
A chicken’s work is never done, he thought. Aloud he said, “Bagock.”
* * *
The gymnasium was empty when the heroes arrived. Then a gust of wind blew over their wings, and a voice called out, “Greetings, girl and golden bird!”
They turned and saw Freya, the Goddess of Love and War. Brunhilde bowed, and Thundercluck followed suit.
Brunhilde whispered, “Freya’s the leader of the Valkyries,” and Thundercluck bowed lower still.
Copyright © 2019 by Paul Allen Tillery IV
Illustrations copyright © 2019 by Paul Allen Tillery IV and Meg Wittwer
