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WHY AREN’T WE THIN ALREADY?
Why You Failed in the Past
I’m addicted to reality television shows about weight loss. I love to root for underdogs, as I see myself in their same shoes. No matter what age or background the contestants come from, I see similarities between their challenges and my own struggles. My only bone to pick with these shows is the mock, off-camera interviews. Inevitably, a producer uncovers the single tragic event responsible for a contestant’s obesity in just a few minutes. As if finding the cause for being overweight were that simple.
In my own experience, there was never “just one thing” that led me to become severely overweight.
The most obvious reason for my obesity was that I really liked eating—and still do! The sad truth is that I ate too much of the wrong things. While it might seem obvious, I’ll admit the truth—I didn’t know “how to eat right.” My husband thinks that’s funny.
“Of course, you know how to eat right,” he pokes; “that’s ridiculous.” (Mind you, he is quite thin.)
“Just eat healthy foods!” he exclaims, thinking the problem is solved. I think weight loss is a lot more complicated than that, and I suspect you just might agree.
When people ask me, “What made you finally decide to lose the weight?” I’ve been known to sarcastically reply, “Well, I really liked being fat!”
I give a dumb answer to an even dumber question. No one wants to be overweight or obese. No one wants to be stared at, or worse, be ignored. I spent years fearing the dressing room because I knew the clothes wouldn’t fit. I avoided restaurants with booths because I couldn’t sit comfortably between the seat and the table. I sweated constantly. I awkwardly stood at social events rather than risk an embarrassing collapse of a provided flimsy plastic chair under my extra weight. I pretended not to want to go on amusement park rides, knowing I might not fit in the car. I felt uncomfortable just being alive.
People who have never struggled with their weight don’t really get it. They sometimes think weight-loss surgery must be the answer for people like me. Now, I didn’t have surgery, though I admit it crossed my mind. But when one of my coworkers chose to have the lap-band, I became curious to learn more. I had known a few people who had completed the gastric bypass surgery, but this new procedure was becoming more popular. Could the lap-band be a cure for obesity? As much as I loved living in denial, hearing about my friend’s elective surgery made me stop and think about my options. I came home from work that night and checked my health insurance website to see if the lap-band was a covered benefit. After researching online, I discovered my BMI of 45 percent qualified me for insurance coverage. The fact that I was even considering surgery made me terribly sad. I didn’t want to do anything about my weight. I just wanted to ignore it. But with a BMI showing me that almost HALF of my body was ALL fat? Well, I felt I had to do something. But what?
I was stunned by my situation. I saw myself as such a determined, capable person who had always been able to succeed no matter how challenging my goals. I finished college at the top of my class while juggling multiple jobs and even went on to complete graduate school. How could I be so successful in one part of my life but an utter failure at the rest? It didn’t make any sense.
Why couldn’t I lose weight on my own? I felt hopeless and alone. It seemed no matter what diet I tried, nothing worked.
With a success rate of 1 percent, diets across the board apparently don’t work for anyone. Wow, that’s gloomy. It’s a wonder people even try! Imagine if a doctor prescribed an expensive medication for you but added the caveat, “Oh, this might work only for a little while. Actually, it cures the underlying problem about one percent of the time.”
Would you still take the medicine? I probably wouldn’t. That sounds like a waste of my time and money. What about you? Would you try that medicine with a miserable 1 percent success rate?
I find this topic absolutely fascinating. Diets, in all their shapes and sizes, all have the same goal: they aim to help you reach that 1 percent success rate. We are all so desperate for a cure that we are willing to try anything. I know I’ve tried every diet on the planet with varying results. Who hasn’t? Eat soup all day? CHECK! Replace my meals with shakes? CHECK! As a nation, we are willing to do just about anything to become part of the 1 percent. We are desperate for any solution, even willing to try those diets that have outlandish sacrifices.
As the years tick by, though, Facebook reminds me I am still part of the 1 percent. Don’t you just love those look-back photos? For me, when I see photos from years ago on social media, the first thing that goes through my mind is, “What size was I there?” Super obnoxious, I know. Like a carnival barker, I can accurately tell you my weight within a few pounds in any photo you put in front of me. When I see a photo from when I was heavy, I feel so sad. The pictures where I weighed less, though? Those make me feel so proud of my accomplishment. I never want to regain that weight! In order for that to happen, I have analyzed what personal changes I made that supported my weight loss. I need to remind myself how I got to this point to prevent any potential backsliding.
I’m on my seventh year maintaining my weight loss, so I’ve had plenty of time to gather insight.
My message will be controversial, but I’m going to speak the damn truth!
Before I can dispense any weight-loss advice, I need to make sure you’re up for the hard work in front of you. I don’t want you quitting for any reason, so let’s start by addressing the common reasons most people have failed in the past. Do any of these reasons resonate with you?
I Quit! Common Reasons People Stop a Diet
Deprivation
“I’m hangry.”
Calorie deprivation leads to hunger.
Resentment
“But everyone else is having some.”
“This isn’t fair.”
Dieters quit when they feel they are missing out.
All or Nothing
“I slipped up. Forget the whole thing!”
People think they have to follow a diet perfectly or not at all.
Too Expensive
“I can’t afford this.”
Dieters convince themselves that losing weight requires costly ingredients, meal plans, and exclusive memberships.
Denial
“I’m fine just the way I am.”
People quit diets after convincing themselves their weight isn’t a problem.
No Support
“My family won’t eat this weird food.”
With no one on their side, people quit diets when they feel alone.
Cheating
“I’m such a failure.”
After one “bad” choice, people feel terrible about themselves and enter a guilt/shame/eating cycle.
Impatience
“I only lost ten pounds this month.”
It’s not working fast enough.
Self-Esteem
“I’m not attractive at any weight.”
Insecurity makes a person give up before even starting.
Unrealistic Goals
“I should be able to have that.”
“I want to fit in my wedding dress.”
They want it all.
Temporary Fix
“I can only do this for two weeks.”
Dieters quit after achieving a short-term goal, like losing weight for an upcoming cruise.
Don’t Really Want to Succeed
“I feel uncomfortable when people notice my figure.”
Losing weight changes your appearance and can make you feel vulnerable.
Hopefully you’ve identified with at least one of these reasons for quitting a diet. Why would I say such a thing? If you used one of these excuses in the past, you are likely to use it again. Most of us will revert to the same excuses over and over.
You must uncover the reasons why you have failed at diets in the past or you’ll never be able to move forward.
By taking an honest inventory of your past reasons for giving up, you will be able to identify that same excuse if it should pop up again (because the chances are high!). You will be ready to identify the excuse before it can cause trouble. Before we get started with DIRTY, LAZY, KETO, you must anticipate potential obstacles in your way.
Lies and myths keep us from weight-loss success. Some of these fabrications are more complex than others, but they all require attention. How did I come up with this list, you might wonder? Let me tell you: This was my list! I told myself every single one of these lies for a really long time. I had to chip away at these hurdles and blindly trust the DIRTY, LAZY, KETO journey, even though it was pitch-dark at times. No one came to rescue me. No one fixed my problems. I had to do it all myself. Though painful to admit, I finally learned that I had to be the one to change if I wanted a different outcome.
Expect progress, not perfection, from yourself. There is something unexpectedly beautiful waiting for you on the other side. Ready?
“As long as you are walking, you are on the right path.” —Buddhist saying
Copyright © 2020 by Stephanie Laska
