CHAPTER ONE
We are totally surrounded.
The spindernots are closing in fast. And they outnumber us ten to one.
Moxie, Pan, and I stand together. Warrior, monk, and mage. Dwarf, elf, and human. We form a triangle of awesomeness against these spidery foes.
I charge forward, ready to unleash my magic against these foul denizens of the forest. But some freaky unseen force holds me back. I am powerless! WHAT UNSPEAKABLE WITCHCRAFT IS AT WORK HERE?
“FART!” Pan calls to me. “Your robes are caught on that branch.”
Oh. Apparently there is no unspeakable witchcraft at work here. Just a grabby tree.
I tug hard. The branch snaps free, sending me face-first into the dirt. I bump against Moxie. Who drops her hammer. Which falls on Pan’s toe. Pan yowls in pain.
Dang. I was having such an empowering moment too.
My name is Fart.
Truth is, the three of us are not quite as mighty as I like to imagine. Really, we’re just Level 2 heroes. Barely a step above newbie apprentices.
So where does that leave us? Oh, yeah.
We are totally surrounded.
Sensing our weakness, the spindernots have regrouped. Spinning a wall of webs, they slowly close in on us.
Things are not going according to plan, so Moxie does what Moxie does best. Takes action.
She pulls a small pouch from her belt. It’s the magical bag of animal statues that she earned at the end of our last quest.
Gosh, I hope it does something cool.
She plucks a small figurine from the pouch and tosses it to the ground. It’s a tiny hippo, meticulously carved and super adorable.
POOF! The figurine disappears and a full-size hippopotamus takes its place. The hippo lets out an earsplitting roar and charges the spindernots, sending them skittering for cover.
Yep. It does something cool.
The distraction buys me enough time to get to my feet.
I mentally run through the list of spells that I know:
FART’S SPELL LIST
“Flimmity-flamesh.” A tiny magical fire sparks from my hands, burning away the closest webs.
Pan takes her cue. Using her monk ability to manipulate the elements, she sends the flames skittering across the webs, burning them away but carefully avoiding the trees. The last thing we want to do is torch the enchanted forest we were hired to protect.
We might not get paid. Plus Pan really loves trees.
Moxie’s hippo tramples several spindernots and bashes into a tree, sending more spindernots scattering for cover. Moxie chases after it, twirling her hammer like a whirlwind.
KA-BLAMMO!
With one mighty swing, she sends six spindernots flying through the air.
Wow. Moxie’s skills are getting impressive.
Pan snuffs out the flames, grabs her bo staff, and pole-vaults over the retreating spindernots. Doing a triple backflip, she lands and blocks their escape with her spinning staff.
Holy cow. I didn’t know Pan could even do that.
A little niggle of jealousy rears up in me. Pan and Moxie are becoming super powerful. And I’m still casting my cute little Cozy Camp. I reach into my mind, trying to muster the words to the new spell I’ve been memorizing. It’s time to show my friends that I can be impressive and amazing too.
I concentrate and mutter the magical words “Plaintanitar au musa!” Banana peels shoot from my palms. The spindernots slip. They slide.
The spindernots collapse in a heap. Moxie and the hippo leap upon them with abandon.
Dwarf hammer wallops. Hippo feet stomp.
KA-POW! KA-BLAM! KA-BLOOEY!
And, just like that, no more spindernots.
SUPERHEROIC ACHIEVEMENT!
Defeat a Horde of Spindernots!
(250 Experience Points Awarded)
Pan brushes dirt from her robes. “Nice work,” she says. “Though I hesitate to point out that an enormous hippo and flying banana peels were not part of our carefully constructed plan.”
Moxie shrugs. “What can I say? There were more spindernots than we thought. We had to improvise!”
The elf tucks her stray hair-wispies back into her topknot. “I am not a fan of improvisation.”
“Aw, come on,” says Moxie, shoving her playfully. “You’re no fun.”
“Fun?” says Pan. “I admit, fun is not my main priority.”
“Speaking of fun improvisation,” Moxie says, shooting me a huge smile, “Cute spell, banana brain! That was hilarious!”
“Cute?” I cry. “Hilarious? Don’t you mean impressive? And amazing?” I step toward our conquered foes, slip on a banana peel, and land on my butt.
“Well, that was impressive,” says Pan with a smirk. “You only fell down twice during that fight.”
I flush with embarrassment and chuck a banana peel at her. She dodges it easily and yanks me to my feet.
With the spindernots vanquished, the magically summoned hippo nuzzles Moxie and disappears with a POOF!
Pan surveys the glade. “What a mess.”
She’s right. It looks like a gang of angry gnomes had a weeklong piñata party in this place.
It’s not pretty. But we stand victorious.
And yet danger still lurks. Because we hear the fluttering of insect wings behind us.
We turn, hammer, staff, and spells at the ready.
But it’s just our employer.
Ephemera. The pixie.
Text copyright © 2021 by Aaron Reynolds
Illustrations copyright © 2021 by Cam Kendell
