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Macmillan Childrens Publishing Group

Dear Rachel Maddow

A Novel

Adrienne Kisner

Feiwel & Friends

MORE ABOUT THIS BOOK

Folder: Sent

To: Egrimm@westing.pa.edu

From: Brynnieh0401@gmail.com

Date: September 10

Subject: School Assignment

Dear Rachel Maddow,

I am writing to you because of a school assignment. It’s a totally ridiculous reason to be writing, but I don’t think you’ll actually read it anyway. This kind of thing is so sixth grade. I am a junior in high school and I’ve been forced to write to a “celebrity hero” by the Applied English teacher. (Hey, Mr. Grimm! How’s it hanging, buddy?) I wasn’t going to do it, because my ex-girlfriend worships you and, hello, school assignment. But I turned on your show and Mom totally freaked out to see me watching you. Apparently your liberal and leftist views don’t sit well with her. Mom spat out the words like she was talking about my dad, so I knew she meant it. That made you my celebrity hero.

You were talking about some guys running for Congress. But then you said one of them was “freaking amazing.” I don’t think newspeople are supposed to say things like that. And isn’t that biased? Newspeople aren’t supposed to be biased. I know this because Mr. Grimm made us watch this video about newswriting. Though no one else knows this about me, Rachel Maddow, I have a near photographic memory for stuff people say. Their words just stick in my brain. So I remember what a reporter is supposed to do.

Anyway, thanks for pissing off my mom.

Sincerely,

Brynn Harper



Folder: Inbox

To: Brynnieh0401@gmail.com

From: Egrimm@westing.pa.edu

Date: September 11

Subject: RE: School Assignment

Dear Rachel Maddow,

I am writing to you because of a school assignment. It’s a totally ridiculous reason to be writing, but I don’t think you actually read it anyway. This kind of thing is so sixth grade. [Brynn, this is good, honest writing. Can you try to put a positive spin on it?] I am a junior in high school and I’ve been forced asked to write to a “celebrity hero” by the Applied English teacher. (Hey, Mr. Grimm! How’s it hanging, buddy?) [I’m doing well, thanks. But you can take this out.] I wasn’t going to do it, because my ex-girlfriend worships you and, hello, school assignment. But I turned on your show and Mom totally freaked out to see me watching you. Apparently your liberal and leftist views still don’t sit well with her. Mom spat out the words like she was talking about my dad, so I knew she meant it. That made you my celebrity hero. [Again, great personal touch. But maybe too intimate for this correspondence?]

You were talking about some guys running for Congress. But then you said one of them was “freaking amazing.” And I don’t think newspeople are supposed to say things like that. And isn’t that biased? Newspeople aren’t supposed to be biased. I know this because Mr. Grimm, my Applied English teacher, made us watch this video about newswriting. Though no one else knows this about me, Rachel Maddow, I have a photographic memory for stuff people say. Their words just stick in my brain. So I remember what a reporter is supposed to do. [You are right, Brynn! I didn’t know that about you. Shouldn’t you remember your assignments, then?]

Anyway, thanks for pissing off my mom. [There is a list of questions I asked you to include. Maybe you could end with that instead.]

Sincerely,

Brynn Harper


Copyright © 2018 by Adrienne Kisner