Macmillan Childrens Publishing Group
Rubber Balls and Liquor

Rubber Balls and Liquor

Gilbert Gottfried

St. Martin's Griffin

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Gilbert Gottfried on Rubber Balls and Liquor:

Nobody ever reads this part of the book. Somebody at the publishing house explained to me that it's actually called jacket copy. It says in my contract that I have to write something over here in this tiny space, even though I don't think anyone will notice. In fact, I'll bet anything that you're not reading this part now. And if it turns out that you are . . . well, the guy in the bookstore is probably staring at you, saying, "Stop reading that book!" I guess there's a reason bookstores are going out of business, left and right. Cheap bastards like you think it's okay to stand in the aisles and read to your heart's content. So for the sake of bookstores everywhere, buy this book. I myself don't care. I only care about the poor working man. Oh, and the sanctity of the written word. I care about that, too. And in my case, those written words, of course, include dick and pussy.

EXCERPT

1
Story of My Life


I've done some research. I'm no slouch. Okay, strike that. Maybe I am a slouch. Certainly, my posture could be a bit better. But before I started writing I did go to the library and ask around. Here's...

Reviews

Praise for Rubber Balls and Liquor

“Gottfried goes for the jugular in his first humor book…outrageous…guffaw-inducing jokes on almost every page.” —Publishers Weekly

“His deadpan accounts of [his] professional low points are some of the funniest parts of the book…In the grand tradition of self-deprecating comedy, he plays them, often brilliantly, for laughs.” —The New York Times Book Review

“This is definitely the loudest book I have ever read. It changed my life. After reading it I decided to go through transgender surgery.” —Bob Saget

“Gilbert is the funniest man alive. He is the comic genius of our generation. This book proves he is the Picasso of the cubist-dick joke.” —Penn Jillette

“More than a national treasure, he's a secret weapon. If we had had Gilbert Gottfried in World War II, Hitler would have given up in 1942.” —Stephen King on Gilbert Gottfried

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Reviews from Goodreads

About the author

Gilbert Gottfried

GILBERT GOTTFRIED is a household name, having used his irritating voice and irreverent sense of humor to build an enormous following for his sold-out stand-up performances, his critically ignored motion picture career, and his hardly remembered turn as a Saturday Night Live cast member. He lives in New York, where he once killed a man for saying he didn't like yogurt.

Gilbert Gottfried

©Arlene Gottfried

From the Publisher

St. Martin's Griffin

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