Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck

Amy Alkon

St. Martin's Griffin

"Miss Manners with Fangs." —LA Weekly

We live in a world that’s very different from the one in which Emily Post came of age. Many of us who are nice (but who also sometimes say "f*ck") are frequently at a loss for guidelines about how to be a good person who deals effectively with the increasing onslaught of rudeness we all encounter.
To lead us out of the miasma of modern mannerlessness, science-based and bitingly funny syndicated advice columnist Amy Alkon rips the doily off the manners genre and gives us a new set of rules for our twenty-first century lives.
With wit, style, and a dash of snark, Alkon explains that we now live in societies too big for our brains, lacking the constraints on bad behavior that we had in the small bands we evolved in. Alkon shows us how we can reimpose those constraints, how we can avoid being one of the rude, and how to stand up to those who are.
Foregoing prissy advice on which utensil to use, Alkon answers the twenty-first century’s most burning questions about manners, including:

* Why do many people, especially those under forty, now find spontaneous phone calls rude?

* What can you tape to your mailbox to stop dog walkers from letting their pooch violate your lawn?

* How do you shut up the guy in the pharmacy line with his cellphone on speaker?

* What small gift to your new neighbors might make them think twice about playing Metallica at 3 a.m.?

Combining science with more than a touch of humor, Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck is destined to give good old Emily a shove off the etiquette shelf (if that’s not too rude to say).


Read an Excerpt



(as long as you don’t stab anybody in the eye with it)


This is not an etiquette book, filled with prissy codes of conduct to help you fit in to upper-class society (or at least passably fake it), and I am nobody’s idea of an etiquette auntie. I don’t know the correct way to introduce an ambassador or address a wedding invite to a divorcée, and I’m not sure where to put the water glasses, other than “on the table.” I kept this to myself when I got a call from a TV producer from



Praise for Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck

"This book is a gem. Hysterically funny and grounded in science, Amy Alkon explains why so many people are rude and how it's possible to be courteous, even if you're foul-mouthed and clueless about etiquette."—Adam Grant, Wharton School professor and bestselling author of Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success
"If you're frequently left gasping by the jaw-dropping social ineptitude of your fellow human beings, or you're guilty of being a rude jackass yourself from time to time, this is the book for you. Alkon doesn’t suffer fools lightly, but she also has the gentle wisdom to know that each of us plays the role of the fool sometimes. Armed with fascinating science, great humor, and a preternatural bullshit detector for a mind, she shoots from the hip – and you'll be damn glad she does, too."—Jesse Bering, Associate Professor of Science Communication and author of Perv

Praise for I See Rude People:
"This crazy redhead is on to something. Her pink Rambler story alone is worth the price of the book."—Elmore Leonard
"Amy Alkon is intellectually promiscuous—and funny as hell."—Howard Bloom, paleopsychologist and author of The Lucifer Principle
"Seriously great book. Alkon is smart and savvy and funny as hell. Where Hannibal the Cannibal only ate the rude, Alkon stands up to them with the sort of glorious panache that sometimes makes you want to stand and cheer."—David Middleton, January Magazine

Praise for Amy Alkon:

"Alkon turns reporting on findings in evolutionary psychology into an art form. She scans the research horizon for fascinating new results. Though relentless in her skepticism, she is keenly attuned to findings that are both solid and suggestive. (The world lost a great analyst when Alkon turned away from academic research.) In her hands, all this research turns into practical advice for how ordinary people can live better lives. Alkon may be, as the LA Weekly put it, 'Miss Manners With Fangs,' but she is perhaps better characterized as the offspring of Charles Darwin and Dorothy Parker. We academics can all take a lesson from her ability to redefine academic turf in terms 'the ordinary person' can both understand and enjoy."--Dr. Barbara Oakley, Oakland University

Reviews from Goodreads



  • Amy Alkon

  • Amy Alkon writes The Advice Goddess, an award-winning, syndicated column that runs in more than one hundred newspapers across the United States and Canada. She is also the author of I See Rude People. She has been on Good Morning America, The Today Show, NPR, CNN, MTV, and Entertainment Tonight and has a weekly radio show called Advice Goddess Radio. She has also written for Psychology Today, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times Magazine, Daily News (New York), and Pravda, among others. She lives in Venice, California.
  • Amy Alkon


Available Formats and Book Details

Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck

Amy Alkon



St. Martin's Griffin