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Macmillan Childrens Publishing Group
A Game of Groans

A Game of Groans

A Sonnet of Slush and Soot

George R. R. Washington and Alan Goldsher

St. Martin's Griffin



In the land of the Eight (or was it Six?) Kingdoms—where the seasons last as long as a series of bestselling Tolkien-esque novels—trouble is brewing. The mud is growing muddier, the onions are rotting, the Wall to the North (or is it the South?) is melting, and Lord Barker of Summerseve is getting worried. His wife is addicted to Godsweede, his King is too fat to fit into his armor, and the foreshadowing is out of control. All in all, not the position you want to be in when Summer is coming.

From this world of outdoor fornication with horse-people (and indoor fornication with blood relatives) comes an epic story of novella proportions. Amid plots and counterplots, power-hungry warriors and overworked ravens, poor reception and no wireless, the future of the Barkers, their BFFs, and their enemies dangles in the balance, as each strives to survive long enough to appear in at least two of the sequels.

"His teeth might be wooden, but his prose is not."

---J.R.R. Madison

George R. R. Washington cannot tell a lie: A Game of Groans was not prepared, authorized, licensed, approved, or endorsed by any person or entity involved in creating or producing any of the Song of Ice and Fire books or the Games of Throne television program. Please direct any inquiries to our legal counsel, Clarence R. R. Darrow.

Praise for A Game of Groans

“Nothing is off limits here, from puns on character names to the sigils (logos) of each house and the general lifestyles of the populace in Martin's world. Irreverent, of course, but sure to give fans a few laughs.” —Sacramento Bee

“If you can't get enough of the Starks, Lannisters, dragons, battles, and romance, check out the clever parody by George R. R. Washington called A Game of Groans: A Sonnet of Slush and Soot. Be prepared to laugh and groan out loud at the raw and sometimes raunchy humor you'll encounter on every page. … This makes a great gift for fans of the original book and/or show. Adults will really enjoy this funny take on an already excellent fantasy novel.” —Sacramento Book Review

George R. R. Washington and Alan Goldsher

GEORGE R. R. WASHINGTON may be related to our country's founding father. And he might live in Chicago with his lovely wife, Natalie. Or he might not. He won't return our calls.

George R.R. Washington

image of Alan Goldshero
Cara Garbarino

St. Martin's Griffin

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