GREENWICH VILLAGE, 1963
On the small bandstand of a cellar jazz club, where the air is thick with smoke and the lights are low, John Coltrane commands his rhythm section. With a gentle nod of his head, he sets an achingly slow groove. Elvin Jones effortlessly works his whisper-quiet brushes. McCoy Tyner plays a subtle piano intro. Bassist Jimmy Garrison provides a gentle heartbeat. Then Coltrane, breathing deeply, exhales into his horn. The sound of his tenor sax is startling—rich, lush, sultry.
At a corner table, a self-assured Jewish man looks into the eyes of a beguiling Afro-Caribbean woman.
She’s my mother, Roxie Roker, and he’s my dad, Sy Kravitz.
Dad’s a thirty-nine-year-old journalist-producer for NBC News at 30 Rockefeller Center, in the heart of Midtown Manhattan. Years before, he started out as a page in this same building before working his way up. He’s a self-starter. A former Army Green Beret who saw action in the Korean War, he’s also a member of the Reserve. His parents, Joe and Jean Kravitz, live in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn, with many other Jews of Russian descent.
Dad’s divorced with two daughters. He lives alone in a $350-a-month one-bedroom apartment at 5 East Eighty-Second Street, just off Central Park on the Upper East Side. A graduate of New York University, he’s a sharp dresser and a consummate charmer. He loves music, especially jazz, and theater. He has his artistic side, but it’s overpowered by order and discipline.
It’s at 30 Rock where he meets Roxie Roker, age thirty-four. My mom is a soulful, deeply elegant person. An Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority member and drama major, she graduated from Howard University with honors before studying at the Shakespeare Institute at Stratford-upon-Avon, England, and joining a theater company in Copenhagen. She performs in Off-Broadway productions and supports herself working as an assistant to a high-ranking NBC boss. She’s the ultimate executive secretary: efficient and graceful in every manner.
She has inherited the work ethic of her parents. Her Bahamian father, a self-made man, and her Georgia-born mother, who works as a domestic, own the home where she was raised in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn.
Roxie has never dated a white man before. But it’s not my father’s skin color that bothers her. It’s the fact that they work in the same office. She’s also a little uneasy knowing he’s been married and divorced. And the fact that he doesn’t seem very close to his daughters. She is skeptical of his nature.
Dad takes Mom to a Broadway revival of The Crucible; they catch Thelonious Monk at the Five Spot; they see Alvin Ailey at City Center; they hear Langston Hughes read at the 92nd Street Y. Sy and Roxie are kindred spirits. He’s determined to win her affection.
You see, now that he’s found the most beguiling woman in New York City, Sy is confident. Roxie is intrigued and flattered by all the attention. She’s delighted to have someone trek downtown to see her act in avant-garde plays. She’s taken by his enthusiasm and perseverance, qualities that her own father taught her to appreciate.
Mom has dreams and ambitions. She is a bright young star: a talented, trained actress and a person of passion and poise. She suggests and later insists that Sy reach out to his two daughters and reconnect with them. For her, it’s a deal breaker. He agrees, and despite his trepidation, a bond is forged.
In an alchemical way, Sy’s and Roxie’s dreams meld. They fall head over heels. He proposes. The next night, my mom goes to the Café Carlyle, on Madison Avenue, to consult with her dear buddy Bobby Short, the iconic cabaret singer and pianist. What does he think about her marrying Sy?
In his grand manner, Short responds, “Well, I don’t see anyone else asking.”
The wedding is a humble affair that Dad’s parents, heartbroken that their son is marrying a Black woman (and a gentile to boot), refuse to attend. It takes my birth to bring them around. I love knowing that without doing a thing except existing, I bring peace to my family.
GEMINI
I am deeply two-sided: Black and white, Jewish and Christian, Manhattanite and Brooklynite.
My young life was all about opposites and extremes. As a kid, you take everything in stride. So, I accepted my Gemini soul. I owned it. In fact, I adored it. Yins and yangs mingled in various parts of my heart and mind, giving my life balance and fueling my curiosity, giving me comfort.
Though nightmares haunted me throughout childhood, once I was awake, I was ready to go. Awake and alive. Looking to explore. Looking for adventure. Many people remember their early years filled with trauma. Despite the drama and dysfunction I will regale you with, my story is not one born of darkness. My youth was filled with joy, and I was surrounded by what felt like endless, unconditional love. From my mother, from a dozen glamorous godmothers, from grandparents, from neighbors who felt like aunts and uncles, from sisters and cousins and friends who became my chosen family.
My father cared for me deeply as well, but it took me a while to realize it. He didn’t know how to show me affection, and our relationship was strained because we were just so different. He lived in a framework of extreme discipline. I ran free. I was born messy and feral, like most little kids. Dad hated clutter and would scold me at the sight of a single toy left on the floor.
The thing is, the discipline never took. He was stubborn, and so was I. That quality we shared. I had a kind of rambunctious will that couldn’t be locked down. He had the kind of authority that couldn’t be challenged. Dad and I worked toward deeply disparate goals with equal fervor. Our differences would only deepen as time went on. It is only in recent years that I have begun to understand our incredible similarities. I am so grateful for his place in my life. He never ran out on me. He was there at critical times, offering me critical help. Our impasses were epic, but, as a result, I grew stronger. I simply would not be who I am today without those power struggles. As ugly as our battles became, they were an education. I had to go through Dad to become me.
* * *
Mom was and is my heart. It was Mom who hung the poster over my bed that read, “War Is Not Healthy for Children and Other Living Things.” It was also Mom who painted the peace sign on my cheek and proudly walked me through antiwar marches in Central Park. Naturally, I didn’t get the political implications, but I loved the excitement of the crowd singing “Give Peace a Chance.” I felt like I was in the midst of an important moment. I felt protected by the goodness that radiated from Mom without her even having to try.
Her first form of protection was to make sure I knew who and where I was, in the most physical sense. To do that, she taught me my very first song. It had a sweet melody. I sang, “Leonard Albert Kravitz is my name. And I live at 5 East Eighty-Second Street in New York City. And I live at three-sixty-eight Throop Avenue with Grandma in Brooklyn.”
Looking back, the song has more depth than I realized. In it lives the two-sided nature of my childhood. Twin worlds, twin identities. I was happy in both. Both formed me. I’m not sure how or why I could so easily slip in and out of starkly diverse cultures and yet remain confident in my own skin, but I could. I believe this intense adaptability gave me the freedom to be happy anywhere. Half a century later, I am still grateful.
* * *
Let me paint the picture for you.
In Manhattan, our apartment at 5 East Eighty-Second Street was on the third floor of a once-grand five-story home chopped up into a dozen modest units. In the sixties you could still find affordable housing on the now-exclusive Upper East Side. Our building, modeled on turn-of-the-century Parisian Beaux-Arts architecture, was a monument to faded glory: wrought iron decorated glass doors, carved cherubs, and an ornate lobby set off by a sweeping marble staircase with a tiny European elevator.
Set in the back of the building, our compact apartment looked out onto brick walls. No view. The living room had a small dining area and a spinet piano. There were shelves filled with jazz records and books like James Baldwin’s Go Tell It on the Mountain and Sammy Davis Jr.’s Yes I Can. Off to the side was a sliver of a galley kitchen. There was also a pullout couch where my parents slept. They gave me the only bedroom. That made me feel special. It also allowed Mom and Dad to give parties that wouldn’t interfere with my sleep. My parents had a huge network of fascinating friends whom they loved entertaining at our place. My room was filled with all the stuff little boys like: Hot Wheels, model planes, Frankenstein and the Wolfman figurines, and, best of all, a plastic record player.
Football legend Joe Namath lived across the street—sometimes he’d throw a ball around with us kids—and only a few steps away, at the end of our block, stood the mighty Metropolitan Museum of Art, like a fortress commanding the eastern border of Central Park.
Although our place was small, most of the kids in the neighborhood lived in enormous apartments. It was a world of privilege.
In contrast to all that, I didn’t see much privilege in Brooklyn. Mom’s parents lived across the East River in mostly Black Bedford-Stuyvesant. My early life was a dance between the two boroughs. I felt I belonged in both places—and the truth is, I did.
My education began at a nursery school in Brooklyn called Junior Academy. So, all week long, I’d stay with Mom’s parents, who owned a three-story home at the corner of Throop Avenue and Kosciuszko Street, in the heart of Bed-Stuy. On Friday afternoons, my parents would pick me up in their VW Bug and drive me back to Manhattan for the weekend.
My life in Brooklyn was grounded by two phenomenal human beings, my maternal grandparents, Albert and Bessie Roker. They showered me, their only grandchild, with love. Born on the small, remote island of Inagua in the Bahamas, Grandpa was forced to become the man of the house at age nine, when his father died and left four children to the care of his ailing wife. Grandpa didn’t have electricity or ice until his teens. Eventually he made his way to Miami, where Georgia-born southern belle Bessie was working in an ice-cream parlor. They fell in love, married, and migrated north to New York in search of a better life. The world has never seen a harder worker than Albert Roker. Doing four jobs at once, Grandpa was a house painter, doorman, handyman, and manual laborer at a factory where he wound up as foreman. He always spent less than he earned and managed his money with an eye toward his family’s well-being and his daughter’s education.
Grandpa used to talk about a vision that came to him as a kid: when he grew up, he’d never refuse anything his wife or child asked of him. The answer, he decided, would never be no. And it never was.
Albert loved learning. Completely self-educated, he knew the Bible; he quoted Shakespeare, Socrates, and Malcolm X. He devoured whole books in a single night. He was driven to improve his mind. He also did all he could to expose his daughter to important culture.
When my mother was thirteen, Grandpa took her to the theater to see Porgy and Bess, where they were forced to sit in the section “For Colored Only.” Despite the irony—a musical featuring Black performers performed to an audience where Blacks were given second-class treatment—the production triggered my mother’s interest in theater. Her father’s prudent management of money put her through Howard University.
On Sunday mornings, Grandpa dressed me in a suit and tie, and off we went in his Cadillac to Lincoln Center, where, at Avery Fisher Hall, Dr. Ervin Seale presided at the nondenominational Church of the Truth. In his sermons, Dr. Seale praised the great teachers and prophets Buddha, Jesus, and Moses. Grandpa read all Dr. Seale’s books, whose titles (Ten Words That Will Change Your Life and Success Is You) reflected his code of self-improvement as spiritual evolution. Though this compass was not exactly the same as mine would become, his sermons were an introduction to these concepts and an invitation to start forming my own connection to the unknown.
For all my father’s powers and passions, devotion to God was not one. Grandpa was my guiding light for all that and more. He was also surrogate father to dozens of neighborhood boys. He took the kids bowling, drove them to the countryside to play golf, and got them tickets to museums and Broadway plays. He made sure they had library cards; he showed them how to apply to trade school and college. Grandpa saw life as an opportunity for self-improvement at every turn. The great thing about him, though, was that he didn’t see it as an opportunity for just himself, but for everyone—especially kids who lacked resources. Grandpa became that resource for an entire neighborhood.
He was also a disciplinarian, but with a style much different from Dad’s. If I was mischievous, Grandpa sat me down and, like a psychologist, explained how my bad behavior was hurting me more than anyone else. He droned on and on and on. He wanted me to understand why I’d done what I’d done, so that I could identify the problem and resolve it. The whole process was agonizing. I would have preferred a beating. But thank God he had insight and patience. His approach was invaluable.
Grandpa had a Bahamian Sidney Poitier–style accent; Grandma spoke with a slight Georgia drawl and attended a Methodist church. If he was intellect, she was soul. My grandmother was the love of my life. A full-bodied woman who loved her southern-fried cooking, Bessie possessed a God-given ability to read people right. When Grandpa went off on a philosophical rant, she’d look at him as if to say, “Albert, please!”
Back then, Bed-Stuy was a village, a community comprised of relocated people who, like Grandma, hailed from “Down South” or, like Grandpa, the Caribbean. It felt safe. When I think of Bed-Stuy, I think of Mother Sister, Ruby Dee’s character in Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing, who watches over the neighborhood from her window. We had Mother Sisters everywhere. If my grandmother was at work and one of the Mother Sisters caught me doing wrong, she’d discipline me right then and there. Then she’d tell Grandma, which means I’d get my ass whupped a second time.
My grandmother was so protective of me and loved me so much that even if I got in trouble for a good reason, she would defend me. She’d deny I’d done it with every fiber of her being, and then, in private, she’d tear my behind up for what I’d done. Punishment was to teach, not to shame. So, she wasn’t going to let anybody embarrass me. Still, her anger never lasted long. By evening, I’d be cuddled up in her bed, the two of us watching I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners, or her favorite, The Lawrence Welk Show.
Life with my grandparents in Bed-Stuy was not only its own distinct universe, but I was a whole other person there, with a whole other name. This came about because so many of our neighbors came from Down South. (Down South was the term everyone used. Until I learned otherwise, I thought Down South was the name of an actual city.) Most of the transplanted southerners retained their drawls. When I met Poppy Branch, the kid next door who had just moved from “Down South,” his sister Renee asked me, “Whas yo naaaaaame?”
“Lennie.”
“Eddie?”
“I said, Lennie.”
“Oh, yeahhh. Eddie.”
Copyright © 2020 by Lenny Kravitz