CHAPTER ONE
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
“Try again, Fart,” Moxie tells me.
Yes, my name is Fart. Long story.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Yes, I’m knocking on the door of a wizard’s tower. And yes, nobody is answering.
A few months ago, my friends and I would have never banged so boldly on a wizard’s front door. Back then we were simple apprentices. Students. But when our masters bit the dust in a goblin attack gone wrong, we had a decision to make. Return to school, tails tucked between our legs? Or venture out into the Fourteen Realms and become the victorious heroes we were always meant to be?
We chose: Victorious Heroes.
We’ve traveled across yeti-infested wastelands. We’ve defeated a dragon. We’ve plumbed the depths of the dragon’s poo pile to obtain a rare and powerful artifact. We’ve commandeered a cool flying airship. And we have returned to this wizard’s tower … triumphant.
SUPERHEROIC ACHIEVEMENT!
Successfully Summarize Book 3!
(400 Experience Points Awarded)
But now we face our greatest obstacle yet: the Great and Powerful Kevin’s front door.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
The door flies open midwhack. And there’s the Great and Powerful Kevin. Looking super great. And super powerful. And super annoyed.
“Hey!” he growls at us. “Goobers! I am currently proofreading the single most important piece of nonfiction literature ever created. And all your door-whacking is clogging up my creative flow!”
He looks down at the phibling on the doorstep and a cocky grin spreads across his face.
“Aw, TickTock!” Kevin exclaims. “I had a feeling my little phibling would come crawling back to his old buddy Kevin.”
“TickTock is not Kevin’s phibling!” the phibling insists.
“Sure, pal,” Kevin says, cracking his neck. “I accept your apology. And your timing is perfect! I was just about to turn your old room into a yoga studio. But now you’re back! I admit it … I missed you. There. I said it.”
“TickTock is not apolo—”
“Yeah, yeah,” the wizard says. “Don’t go getting all mushy.”
His eyes scan the rest of us. “So. I send you dudes to get me a little shiny bling-bling from a dragon’s lair, and you crawl back to me in defeat. Well, I guess there’s no shame in it. At least you’re still alive.”
Moxie steps up so she’s nose-to-belt-buckle with him. “Not only are we alive,” she says proudly. “We slayed the dragon.”
“Slayed the dragon!” Kevin laughs. “Sure, guys. Sure, sure. Of course you did.”
“We did!” I cry. “We slayed Glacierbane! WITH CHEESE!”
“Oh, yeah. I know!” he says dramatically. “And I invented oxygen while you were gone. See, I can play this game too!”
“Kevin, it’s true,” Pan begins. “We—”
“You know what?” he says, cutting her off. “Doesn’t matter. I didn’t sign up for the two o’clock matinee of Story Hour with the Little Fibbers Gang. I didn’t send you to slay a dragon. I sent you to retrieve a supercharged magic item from a pile of dragon poo. That’s what I really care about.” He rubs his hands together eagerly. “So … did you accomplish my quest or not?”
Pan huffs in frustration. But she reaches into her tunic and retrieves something sparkly.
The necklace that once belonged to her mom.
The enchanted necklace that draws her close to the memory of her mother.
The necklace that was stolen by Seraphim the sneak thief, swallowed by Glacierbane the dragon, and supercharged by Glacierbane’s übermagical digestive enzymes.
The necklace that we plucked from the dead dragon’s poo pile.
That necklace.
Pan holds it out. “Not only did we slay the dragon,” she says softly. “We accomplished your quest.”
Text copyright © 2022 by Aaron Reynolds
Illustrations copyright © 2022 by Cam Kendell
