INTRODUCTION

I have a vivid memory from when I was two years old: My great-uncle Quinn is holding me up in the air so that I can gaze down upon my mom’s washing machine, and I am mesmerized by the clothes swimming in circles in the sudsy water.

This is so fascinating to me, in fact, that watching clothes being washed becomes one of my favorite toddler activities. Whenever I visit someone’s house, I ask to inspect the laundry room—I want to see every washing machine. I realize that my neighbors, relatives, and friends have lots of different models: the wringer washer, the Gyratator, the rare locomotive.

While some parents might have found my fascination a bit embarrassing, my mom thought it was hilarious. And so, for my third birthday, she and my dad gave me a kid-size washing machine—and because it was the 1970s, the color was harvest gold. It had a window on top, just like my mom’s (because, let’s face it, my dad didn’t do laundry), and it had a handle on the side that I could crank to make my clothes mimic the action of a real washing machine. I was over the moon.

My love of laundry only deepened as I grew older. I learned how to wash and dry my own clothes before I was ten. In my teens, I taught myself to iron like a picky pro, creating razor-sharp creases in my khakis. And at university, with a love of dry-clean-only clothes while on a college-student budget, I sought out my textile professors to find out if I could wash my wool sweaters and pants myself. (I suspected I could—after all, people had been wearing wool clothing all over the world since long before the invention of dry cleaning.) Yet I never would have imagined that my initial curiosity would lead me to study, explore, and experiment with various methods of caring for clothes, let alone become a laundry expert and the pioneer of a “Laundry Camp” that would help thousands of interested participants.

Now, with decades of experience using conservation washing and drying techniques on everything from vintage designer gowns to my favorite lived-in Levi’s, I’m sharing my professional advice with you in these pages, covering all of my best tips, tricks, and techniques for mastering the art of laundry. My mission is to help you make laundry faster, cheaper, kinder to the environment, and more fun.

I’ll also share stories about many people I love—especially the women who raised me, as they sparked my interest in textiles, taught me how to care for clothes, and showed me love and affection from the time I was small.

So sit back, take a (laundry) load off, and get ready: I’m about to transform your sorting, washing, and drying routines. And, for my big finish, I’ll teach you everything you need to know about removing stains—chocolate! red wine! dog pee!

Remember that pile of dirty clothes on the floor? It’s calling to you! There’s no time like the present—so let’s get started.



1

Don’t Let Your Clothes Tell You What to Do



Look after your laundry, and your soul will look after itself.

—W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM, PLAYWRIGHT AND NOVELIST

Dry clean only. Wash in cold water. Handwash. Dry flat. Spot-wash only. Blah, blah, blah.

When it comes to cleaning, our clothes are bossy. Their tags bully us into time-sucking techniques, and before we know it, each article of clothing is trying to tell us what to do—and none of it is simple.

It’s time to say goodbye to all that. Soon you’ll know exactly how to care for all your textiles—meaning anything made of cloth, from clothes and bedding to bath towels and table linens—and you’ll be able to do it all at home. Anything, and I mean anything, can be washed at home. And I’m going to teach you how.

When I say “anything,” that includes all your clothes: cashmere sweaters, wool suits, social dresses, and whatever else you can think of. Grandma’s fur coat? Yep. A wedding dress? You bet. Plus pillows, curtains, rugs, and more.

Now, imagine the fluffiest, whitest towels you’ve ever wrapped yourself in. Imagine crawling into bed between peppermint-scented sheets. Imagine finally getting to wear your favorite fill-in-the-blank again after I teach you how to remove its stains. Most important, imagine being able to do all this for yourself and for the ones you love—simply and easily.

That’s the promise of this book: It will transform laundry—that chore you previously tolerated, or perhaps hated—into something you enjoy, look forward to, maybe even love. And for those of you who, like me, already love laundry, I promise you’ll love it even more.

Did I mention this book is basically free? That’s because you’ll never pay those whopping dry-cleaning bills again if you follow my advice. Plus, you’ll save loads of time—and time is money, so you’ll have even more money in your pocket. Unless, of course, you really want to pack up your clothes, wait in line to drop them off, remember to pick them up, wait in line again to pick them up, haul them back home (hoping a few don’t slide to the floor on the way)—all the while paying a pretty penny for the privilege of doing so. Think of all that cash you’ll save—every month, every year—by eliminating this errand. Cha-ching!

Now, let’s say you have a significant other and a couple of kids. You’re likely running seven loads of clothes every week at roughly an hour and twenty-five minutes per washed-and-dried load. That adds up to a grand total of ten hours. Ten hours a week!

I’ll slash that time to four hours and ten minutes just once a week—less than half of what the average family currently spends doing their laundry. What are you going to do with all that extra time? Write a novel? Open a new business? Nap? Think of the options!

Included in that calculation of saved time is the spot-cleaning I teach in this book, which adds just five minutes, at most, per load. Your stains will disappear, your clothes will be cleaner, and you’ll wear them more often. Most people don’t spot-treat stains—they just hope for the best. And hope, as they say, is not a strategy.

OK, so you’re saving piles of money and lots of time. What else is there to offer?

Well, my washing tips will wow you. For example, how about those old jeans you love so much that are too faded to wear beyond your front door? You can rescue them: Mix a tablespoon of good, old-fashioned bluing in a basin of warm water, and then let your jeans soak overnight. The denim will drink up the bluing, and presto! You’ve just salvaged your jeans. (Not quite blue enough yet? Just repeat the process, little by little, for the best results, until your jeans are just the way you like them.)

There are many more great tips to come. Most important, the advice I share in these pages will simplify your laundry life, and maybe even your actual life. Because the last thing we need to do is to complicate our busy, overcommitted lives even further. Easy peasy is my mantra.

My Love Language

Now that you know to stop letting your clothes tell you what to do, your laundry routine is about to become simpler, faster, cheaper, and more fun! Your new, gentler laundry supplies will be kinder to your skin, your clothes, and the environment. You and your loved ones are going to be treated to softer and cleaner clothes, towels, bedding, and more. You’ll be able to show love to the ones you love through the simple act of laundry.Now that we’ve covered the key goals and basic supplies, it’s time to sort!


Copyright © 2021 by Patric Richardson and Karin B. Miller