INTRODUCTION
This book may be small in size, but it is filled with big ideas—ideas that have the power to change your perspective and your life. I spent years in a state of unhappiness … unhappy with many things about myself, unhappy with my job and my bank account, and unhappy with some of the relationships in my life. I kept thinking I would be happy if only I were thinner, had a great job and lots of money, and was surrounded by people who loved me for who I truly was. Happiness was always an elusive goal lurking in the distance, one that I could never quite reach. I was always left feeling unfinished, unseen, unhappy.
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To help deal with my unhappiness, I drank too much, I shopped, I complained, I spent hours on social media … I did everything I could to relieve the pain I was feeling, and nothing helped. I did everything, that is, except the one thing I needed to do. I was, as they say, sick and tired of being sick and tired. From that place of desperation, I had a profound realization. I was the one responsible for my happiness. I finally understood that my happiness couldn’t be found in my job, in my finances, or in the people around me. It was a mind-set I had to change, a decision I had to make. Only I could make myself happy. By engaging in my own life, I began to live it at last.
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It wasn’t easy to start the process. And at times it wasn’t easy to stay the course. But I made myself a promise: every day, I was going to be a little better at being kinder and more loving to myself. I didn’t have to be perfect—seeking but not reaching perfection was one of the ways I used to feel inferior. Instead, I decided I’d be just a little bit better than the day before, that I’d take just one little step.
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What exactly did I do? I started to do all the things I write about in this book. Little actions and small mind-set changes helped me choose happiness, instead of chasing after it.
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Fairly quickly, I began to feel better and more fulfilled, almost without realizing it at first. One day, I had a startling thought … I realized that I had gone the entire day without complaining (to myself or anyone else), and that I actually felt good. I was looking forward to my day and happy to be where I was. I couldn’t remember the last time I had spent an entire day feeling good. That simple realization motivated me to take even more steps on my journey. Day by day, step by step, I have created a life that I love.
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Let me add here that I don’t feel “happy” every moment. I understand that I don’t need to force myself to feel happiness, or any other emotion. Instead, I have surrounded myself with an environment and people who bring me more positivity than negativity. I spend more time looking at the gifts of life, rather than at the deficits. I don’t blame others, don’t feel like a victim, don’t allow my inner critical voice to rule me. I just appreciate my life more, and with that appreciation, my life has improved.
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Every idea in this book is meant to be like a mental and emotional vitamin—a little boost to your journey. Each of the ideas and practices come from my own life. And the quotes from others are ones that have inspired me. Take the ideas of this book and use them as jumping-off points to inspire you to find ways to experience greater happiness in your life. My hope is that every page of this book will encourage you to create a life of happiness—now.
Copyright © 2020 by St. Martin’s Press
