CHAPTER 1
I FIGURED IT OUT ONCE. I calculated the time I spend actually performing the task that gives my job its title, and it came out to fifty-one minutes per year. Not even an hour. And that calculation is generous, believe me. The total grows if I include practices, but still, that leaves me with a lot of anticipation to chew through.
Tonight-it is early June, and warm-I am wearing my one and only suit, which is black and made to measure, and I stand outside of the Jefferson, a short-term residential apartment building that's been my home for the last five years. My dinner companions are running a couple of minutes late, but I am handling the wait like the pro that I am.
Soon enough, the Jefferson's doors hiss open, and out shuffles a towering black man in a red clinging workout shirt, baggy jeans, and sneakers. Though we have never met, I have seen enough news footage to recognize him as one of the men I am dining with tonight, Samuel Sault. The newest, richest member of my team, the Philadelphia Sentinels, has short-cropped hair and a neatly trimmed goatee, a wide mouth that is slightly downturned, and eyes set far enough apart that I wonder if he has more peripheral vision than your average human. He is as tall as advertised, at six foot seven, though he looks so thin that I immediately assume his listed weight of 301 pounds is a media-guide fiction. I wonder if this skinny pass rusher isn't a waste of the second-overall pick, the latest mistake of our foundering franchise.
Samuel is also staying at the Jefferson, directed here by our mutual agent and the third member of our dinner party, Cecil Wilson. Although I imagine Samuel's tenancy will end as soon as he finds a mansion that he deems worthy of slicing off a chunk of his $12 million signing bonus. I've stayed at the Jefferson entirely out of superstition-I took a fully furnished room here when I surprised everyone, including myself, by making the Sentinels as a rookie free agent, and I continue to stay here because I am absolutely sure that the moment I buy a home or sign a long-term lease, the Sentinels will cut me.
I raise a hand, which Samuel ignores as he goes to a spot a few yards down from me on the Jefferson's semicircle driveway and stands, eyes down and arms folded. I study him for a moment and see that he's more sleek than skinny, really. Most players his weight have a certain puff to their musculature, but Samuel's torso is flat as a fashion model's. He is broad in the upper body, with bulk packed into his shoulders and upper arms-it looks like he has ham hocks stuffed into his sleeves. Maybe that listed weight of 301 is more honest than I thought. The jeans he is wearing are of a loose cut, and could be concealing a disproportionately large butt and thighs. In football, it's all about the butt. I have never once looked around the locker room and seen a narrow ass.
"Samuel?" I say, walking over to him. He looks up and briefly meets my eyes and then looks down again, without answering. Perhaps he is assuming that I am an autograph seeker.
"I'm Nick Gallow," I say. "We're having dinner together." He turns toward me, surprised. "I'm a client of Cecil's, too," I add. "I'm the Sentinels' punter."
"Hey," he says, with a slim smile and brief raise of the eyebrows. He then goes back to staring at the ground, except now he is bobbing his head nervously.
From news stories I know the basics of Samuel's background: that he grew up in rural Alabama and lived with his parents through college, shunning offers from bigger schools to live at home and attend the nearby Western Alabama A&M, which is a historically black college. In these stories, all encomiums to country humility, Samuel's quotes had been sparing and few.
Samuel's head-bobbing is so odd that I wonder for a moment if he is not just shy, but autistic. Or maybe he has Asperger's. Or something. It is all too easy to imagine how a "slow learner" with Samuel's physical gifts might glide through college, especially at a small school that would have believed itself blessed to host such a rare talent.
Or it may just be that Samuel is feeling overwhelmed. Yesterday he signed his contract, and this morning he was hailed as a team savior on the front pages of both the Inquirer and Daily News. And he would have seen theInquirer, at least, because the Jefferson slides the paper under the door of its guests every morning.
"I'm glad you're here," I say to Samuel. "I'm looking forward to playing with you."
Samuel nods, eyes still trained on the pavement, showing no interest in grabbing on to the simplest of conversational lifelines. He looks so cowered that it is hard to believe that he is the same person the press has dubbed "Samuel Assault" for his ability to inflict pain. During his three years in college, he injured eleven quarterbacks, knocking them out of games with broken arms and collarbones, torn knee ligaments, ruptured spleens, and concussions.
As the two of us stand there waiting, residents flow into the Jefferson, almost all of them turning to gawk at this colossal young man as they pass.
At last, Cecil pulls into the driveway, driving a rented black Escalade. Usually I see him in a Ford Focus.
A portly man with shaggy black hair, moony dark eyes, and a not-quite-walrus mustache, Cecil managed a hardware store before switching careers and becoming a football agent six years ago. I was his first client, and for a few years his only one.
Cecil shakes hands with Samuel-which I note because Cecil and I have always hugged. "How you doing, buddy?" he says to Samuel. "Have you met Nick?"
"Yeah," says Samuel quietly. Even in familiar company, Samuel shows an unusual amount of diffidence, especially considering he is a twenty-one-year-old multimillionaire.
Cecil shakes my hand, too. "Love the suit, Nick!" he says.
"Love the car," I answer. "What are you listening to in there? 50 Cent? Cee Lo?"
"Trisha Yearwood," he says, scratching the back of his neck. As he scratches, the sleeve of his suit jacket pulls back to reveal a gold watch with a black leather band. That is new.
"So how obsessed are you with Woodward Tolley right now?" Cecil asks me with a grin. Woodward Tolley is a rookie free agent punter that the Sentinels signed last week to compete with me for a roster spot. Cecil's smile is meant to show he's not concerned with this threat to my job. Of course now that he has Samuel, my revenue stream is something he can afford to joke about.
"Trying not to think about him too much," I say.
"And how's that going?" Cecil laughs. When I don't join in, he pats me on the elbow and adds "C'mon, you can handle that kid in your sleep." Cecil then turns to Samuel and asks, "So where would you guys like to eat?"
Samuel shrugs with indifference.
"Nick, you choose," Cecil says. "You're the local."
"Let me think," I say. Rittenhouse Square, on which the Jefferson stands, has a high-end restaurant that serves hundred-dollar Kobe beef cheesesteaks, but I don't want to endorse that sort of absurdity. We could head toward Northern Liberties, a neighborhood where new and interesting restaurants are popping up all the time. But then Cecil isn't a guy who likes his food interesting, and Samuel probably isn't, either. We also need a place where my suit and Samuel's workout shirt will be equally appropriate.
"Let's go to Stark's," I say. Stark's feels like a safe choice for an evening that already seems like it could use some help. Stark's is a steakhouse, and a popular players' hangout. I almost never go there, but it is staffed by young and agreeable waitresses who reportedly do everything they can to make Sentinel players feel welcome.
* * *
I am riding in the backseat when an e-mail pops up on my phone. It is from someone I've never met, and whose acquaintance I have no interest in making. It is my girlfriend Jessica's husband.
Hello, Nick. This is Dan Steagall, Jessica's husband. I would like to invite you to our house for dinner. Jessica has told me wonderful things about you, and I would appreciate the chance to get to know you. I am away this week and part of next, but just name a date after that, and we'll make it happen. Do you like lamb? I cook a mean lamb. Thanks.
I feel caught. The e-mail's benign language suggests that he believes Jessica and I are merely friends, but I can't help but be concerned. Dan works at the Philadelphia branch of the Federal Reserve, and he has a hand in the managing of our nation's economy. I have seen photos of him, and he is physically slight, certainly not the sort to challenge me to a duel. But I imagine he would seek revenge in some form if he learned exactly how Jessica and I spend our time together. Yesterday afternoon, for instance, she and I had engaged in yet another one of our role-playing games. These games had many variations, except that my character was always named Troy. Yesterday I was Troy the organic turnip farmer, who valiantly peddled his produce door-to-door because Big Grocery wouldn't give him a break. Troy was so weary, so misunderstood, and so in need of love ...
"Hey, Samuel," says Cecil. "Did you have a chance to get to the Franklin Institute and walk through their big human heart?"
"Nah," Samuel says. "Didn't feel like it."
Dan's invitation has come at a time when I really don't need the distraction. The Sentinels have a minicamp in a few days, and I will be going against my new competition, this Woodward Tolley. I need to focus on him, not Jessica's husband.
Without replying, I forward Dan's message to Jessica with the comment WTF?
Jessica must have slipped up somehow, is all I can figure. Jessica is intelligent, but also restless. She is a painter, but not the kind that tries to sell her work. I have always seen her ennui as our primary vulnerability to being caught. The third or fourth time we were together I actually said to her, as we lay in bed, "You should try to keep yourself a little more busy. I don't want you to let your husband catch us just because it's Wednesday and you're bored."
"But if I weren't so bored, my darling," she answered me, stroking my neck, "what would I be doing with you?"
* * *
Stark's Steakhouse is situated not far from the Delaware River, in an area where the urban grid opens up. The building is a low-slung gray rectangle with the restaurant's name written on its upper left corner in neon red script. Stark's is upscale, but it is not intimate. They do a volume business. The place has an expansive parking lot, which is nearly full when we arrive. We park off to the left, and we have a good forty-yard walk to the entrance.
The Stark's lobby is defined by its wall of fame, featuring autographed eight-by-tens of the players who have eaten here over the decades. The photos tilt heavily toward stars of the sixties and seventies, and many of the photos are in the goofy style of the old football publicity stills-men in buzz cuts leaping or charging in front of empty bleachers. The pictures aren't just of Sentinels, either; the wall features players from around the league who visited when they were in town for a road game.
The restaurant is busy, with the tables full in the lower tier and many well-dressed men, mostly in their thirties and forties, hovering near the bar.
It is then that I notice Jai Carson, the Sentinels' star linebacker, in the restaurant's upper tier, which is reserved for VIPs-which, here, usually means athletes. Jai is wearing an electric-blue tracksuit, and he seems to be in typically high spirits. He is on his feet with a cocktail in his hand, entertaining friends with a bawdy story. Though I can't actually hear what he is saying, I feel confident that Jai's story is bawdy because he appears to be pantomiming a sex act, thrusting his crotch as he holds on to an imaginary pair of hips.
Perhaps anticipating such antics, the maître d' has seated Jai and his crew in a deep corner of the upper tier.
Jai's dining companions include only one Sentinel that I can see-his best friend on the team, Orlando Byrd, the 342-pound defensive tackle who goes by the nickname Too Big to Fail. The other guys at the table come from Jai's private stock of friends, buddies from his hometown of Memphis that I have often seen milling around the locker room.
Jai concludes his story with a broad slapping gesture that is greeted with whoops of laughter-the loudest being his own. He spins in a 360, a giddy pirouette, and as he settles down, he notices us. And by us, I mean Samuel. His eyes light up, and his arms open wide.
"Fuck me!" Jai shouts across the dining room. "There's a beast in the house!"
Jai hops down the couple of steps and charges across the main dining floor and throws his arms around Samuel, who has watched Jai's approach with something other than anticipation. On contact with Jai, he flinches.
"Shit, rookie," Jai says, stepping back, taking in Samuel's size. "You stacked up!"
Samuel does loom over Jai, his chin level with the linebacker's tapered eyebrows. Even though Samuel is maybe fifty pounds heavier than Jai, he is the leaner of the two. Throw in a couple other physical details-like Samuel's straight and firm hairline compared to Jai's shiny dome, shaved to mask male pattern baldness-and it is hard not to look at the two defensive players and see Jai as the old model and Samuel as the new and improved version.
"Hi, I'm Cecil Wilson, Samuel's agent," Cecil says, hand extended to Jai.
"Cecil Wilson, congratulations!" says Jai, shaking his hand energetically. "You got your boy signed quick, didn't you? I bet the bosses love you."
The last line, though delivered in a friendly enough tone, is not a compliment. Cecil has in fact been getting ripped on football message boards for having Samuel agree to a contract in June, at least a month earlier than is typical for top rookies. The critics argue that Samuel could have received more money if he waited until August, when full training camps convene. The agent for the player chosen third overall publicly proclaimed that he was going to be seeking more money for his client than Samuel received, because "he was not going to let the market be set by a neophyte."
If Cecil notices the backhandedness of Jai's compliment, he betrays no sign of offense, and Jai now turns to me with blank expectation. He seems to be waiting for an introduction.
He doesn't know who I am.
Unbelievable. As a punter, I am used to slights to my ego-casual insinuations that I am not a real player, not actually part of the team. But if Jai doesn't recognize me, after five years in the same locker room, this will top them all. Times ten.
"Hello, Jai," I say evenly.
"Hey, man," he says, extending his hand to me as if he is doing a corporate appearance, and I am the salesman of the month. "Good to see you." With no indication whatsoever that he knows we are teammates, Jai turns his attention back to silent Samuel, who still has not said a word.
"I can't wait to see you and Samuel on the field together," Cecil says, rubbing his hands together with pronounced eagerness. "Who are they going to double-team? They won't know what to do!"
"You know it," Jai says. "Samuel and JC are going to fuck some major ass together. I bet there's quarterbacks at home right now clinching their buttholes up tight just thinking about it!"
This is Jai as he ever is, continuously and joyously profane. Samuel's jaw clenches and his posture rises-I am guessing this is different from the dinnertime chatter back home with his parents-and his eyes zero in on Jai's necklace, which asks in shimmering rhinestone lettering: WANT TO?
Samuel's silence is making Jai uneasy. His eyes dart, searching for signs of appreciation. No showman likes a mute audience.
Jai then asks Samuel a question he shouldn't ask, one that a more cautious person might have swallowed, understanding that the wrong answer would create unspeakable discomfort:
"You do know who JC is, right?"
Jai Carson's personal mission over the last decade has been to get his face on as many television programs, talk shows, magazine covers, video game boxes, and roadside billboards as he could. He recorded his own CD, Sack Dance, starred in a reality dating show, and he also has a line of JC earrings. Hell, he has even been on The View. There could be no bigger insult for Jai from anyone, let alone a rookie on his own defense, than to say: I don't recognize you.
In response to Jai's question, Samuel scans the dining room, as if he is looking for the "JC" that this boorish and insistent stranger is talking about. For all the awkwardness of the moment, I smile inwardly. Jai is paying the price for referring to himself in the third person.
"Samuel comes from a poor family," Cecil says, placing his hand on Samuel's shoulder. "Very poor. They don't have television. And he lived at home all through college. So he's kind of a TV illiterate." Given Samuel's muteness, the word illiterate lingers uncomfortably in the air. "At the draft, Samuel didn't know who Chris Berman is," he adds with a nervous chuckle.
Jai considers this explanation, and though I am sure he believes himself to be a bigger deal than any ESPN broadcaster, he makes an effort to appear placated by Cecil's words.
"That's cool, that's cool," Jai says. "I know about being poor. When I was growing up, all I could afford to eat was pussy."
Jai laughs at his joke, as do Cecil and I. Samuel's nervous smile could, I suppose, pass for an appreciative response.
At this point, the Stark's hostess inserts herself into our group. She looks to be in her mid-thirties, which is old enough to qualify her as the den mother of the restaurant's young female staff.
"Good evening," she says. "Are you all joining Mr. Carson's party? We can pull up another table."
"Let's do it," Jai says. "I know there's a lot of ugly motherfuckers in my group, but these are quality people." He shouts across the restaurant, "Hey, Cheat Sheet. Stand up!"
The man who rises from Jai's table is maybe five foot six, skinny, and wearing a bright purple jacket with an orange shirt and pants. He smiles, flashing a full grille of gleaming gold.
"He's my pastor," Jai says.
Somehow I don't think the presence of that particular pastor will appeal to Samuel's country values. But still, we need to accept this invitation, before this potential rift between the defense's veteran leader and its high-priced rookie opens any wider.
"Let's..." I start.
"No."
Samuel says this quietly and firmly while looking at Cecil.
"I see a table over there," Samuel mutters, and begins walking into the dining area-not toward the players' section but to an empty table on the far side of the regular dining room. The hostess grabs three menus and runs out in front of Samuel, attempting to gain control of the expedition.
Up to this point, I have been feeling sorry for shy, sheltered Samuel, but his refusal is unmistakably rude.
"Well, fuck me," Jai says, mystified. Then, angrier: "Fuck me!" For Jai, the phrase is like "Aloha" or "Shalom," in that it carries many different meanings, dependent on situation and inflection.
I wish I could tell you that I have never seen anything like this, a simple disagreement that quickly escalates into high-grade hostility, but football is populated by thin-skinned competitors who see every conflict as an urgent test of their manhood. That's great when it's fourth-and-goal on the one; less so when you want a peaceable dinner.
"Later, buddy," I say to Jai with a shrug, and I hold out my fist for a bump. He looks at me dubiously before returning my bump with a shot that bears an uncomfortable resemblance to a punch.
At our table, the three of us study our menus quietly. "Porterhouse or rib eye, the eternal question," Cecil says with forced jollity. I wonder if Cecil is thinking about what a disaster that was. I certainly am. Just as a nation divided against itself cannot stand, a locker room divided against itself cannot win. Between Jai's ego and Samuel's reticence, it is not clear who will initiate peace talks.
Soon we are greeted by our waitress, who is quite a sight. I would guess that she is in her early 20s. Like all the waitstaff, she wears a pale pink dress shirt and a short black skirt. She has blond hair that she wears tied up on top, feline green eyes, and round, freckled cheeks. She is the shortest girl on the floor, which accentuates that she is also the most buxom, the lone girl here whose curves dominate her straightaways.
"Howdy," she says with a broad grin. "I'm Melody."
"Howdy," I say. "I'm Nick." And then I introduce Cecil and Samuel.
"Are you Samuel Sault?" Melody asks Samuel, eyes wide.
"Yes," Samuel says quietly. And that is all he says. Though he is making strong eye contact with her breasts.
After a decent interval of silence, Melody taps pen on pad and asks for our order.
"I'll have the rib eye," Cecil says. "Medium rare. With creamed spinach and mashed potatoes."
"Excellent," she says, and turns to Samuel. "How about you, big fella?"
"Same," Samuel says.
"Very well. And you, sir?"
"I'll have the broiled salmon," I say. "And for side dishes-the broccoli, can they steam that?" I ask.
"I think so, but I'll check. You get a second side as well."
"Just the steamed broccoli will be fine."
"And what if they can't steam the broccoli?"
"Then no sides for me."
"Really?" She eyes me curiously. "You have a beauty pageant coming up or something?"
Cecil snickers. "Every day, miss. Every day."
"For your drink, let me guess ... club soda with lemon," Melody says. "Am I right?"
That is exactly what I was going to order, but I suddenly don't want to admit that.
"Lime, actually."
"You really wanted lemon, right?" she says with a grin. "You're saying 'lime' to fuck with me?"
"Fine," I say. "Lemon." Maybe it's because I'm in need of a distraction, but this waitress's sauciness feels entirely welcome. I check her left hand to make sure this one doesn't have a husband. The ring finger is clean.
"Anyone ever call you Mel?" I ask her.
"Not if they want me to answer," she says with a chuckle. "Mel-o-dee. Three syllables. Trust me, I'm worth the effort." She winks and walks away.
Samuel unabashedly eyes Melody as she goes. He smiles boyishly, his eyes relax, and I see that he is handsome when he's happy. His teeth are a little here and there, but in a sweet sort of way. I can picture that smile in an aftershave commercial, or on the cover of GQ, if he wants to make that happen.
Samuel excuses himself to go to the bathroom. When he is out of earshot, I say to Cecil,, "He's not the most loquacious fellow, is he?"
"He's a good kid," Cecil snaps. "He's just out of his element. You should see where he grew up. It's like they got indoor plumbing a few weeks ago. He's in shock just being here."
"If you say so," I say. I grew up in a small town, too, though I only came to Philadelphia from Upstate New York, and I had always wanted to live in a city, whereas Samuel seems to have been forcibly relocated here by the magnitude of his talent. And when I arrived in Philadelphia, none of the locals knew who I was, and none of them were counting on me to make their Sundays happier ones.
"Samuel is going to need help," Cecil says. "I need you to look out for him in the locker room, and keep him on the right track. Can you do that for me?"
I don't really think I can help much-Cecil may be overrating my influence-but I owe Cecil my best effort, seeing as I wouldn't be a Sentinel without him. I came from a small school and had only punted for one season in college, and I wouldn't have drawn a single invitation to a training camp without his aggressive campaigning on my behalf. He was the only agent who even thought I was worth representing. We made it here together. "Mr. Wilson," I say. "I'll do everything I can."
Samuel is now walking back from the men's room, moving quietly but more erect, without the diminishing shoulder slouch from earlier in the evening. I look across the restaurant and see that Jai is staring at Samuel predatorily, tracking his movements. All the guys at Jai's table are doing the same. Even from this distance I see a distinct malice in their gaze.
Samuel, oblivious to the eyes upon him, arrives at the table with an amused smile. "They have a picture of me in the john," he says. Stark's posts the sports page on a tack board stationed above the urinal, so guys can read while they pee. Today's headline, if I recall correctly, is "Can Sault Save the Sentinels' Defense?"
Jai has no doubt read that story as well-and given that he considers himself the soul of our defense, he surely did not care for the implication that it needs to be saved.
I know how on edge I have been the last few days, simply because the team signed Woodward Tolley to compete for my job. While Jai's job is not threatened by Samuel's arrival, his status as alpha dog certainly is.
"Maybe we should order a bottle for Jai's table," I say.
"Good idea," Cecil says. "I'll take care of it when the waitress returns with our food."
A few minutes later Melody is back with their steaks and my salmon.
"Hi, sweet thing."
This is Samuel, greeting Melody as she places food in front of him. Great.
"Where are you from, Samuel?" Melody asks eagerly. If she can recognize Samuel, the details of his contract-$64 million with a $12 million bonus and $30 million guaranteed-are likely embedded in her frontal lobe.
"Alabama, ma'am," Samuel says. "Vickers, Alabama."
"Really," she says. "Welcome to the big city. And just to let you know, those red and green things you see hanging in the middle of the street? They're traffic lights."
Samuel titters and then goes silent. Melody waits with professional patience for the next beat in the conversation. Meanwhile, steaks in the kitchen go from medium to well.
"Miss, I have a request," Cecil interposes. "Please send a bottle of champagne to Jai Carson's table. Cristal if you have it." Look at Cecil, name-checking champagne brands. "Tell them it's from Samuel."
"I'll get on it right away," Melody says, placing her hand on Samuel's shoulder. "They'll be very impressed."
She walks to the back, without having looked at me once.
As I fork my way through my salmon and steamed broccoli, I glance back and forth between the kitchen and Jai's table, hoping to see Melody return with the champagne before Jai and his friends leave. I can see Jai studying the bill, unsheathing his wallet and dropping a pile of cash on the table. Then he and his guys all stand up and begin to move out. The path of their exit steers them closer to us.
"Bye-bye, motherfuckers," Jai shouts as he passes the nearest point to our table. "Don't nobody take my shine. You don't know who JC is, you going to find out real soon."
Sigh.
Back in college, I had majored in anthropology, and last season I could have written a master's thesis entitled "Constant Defeat and its Effects on Inhabitants of a Closed Society." As the losses accumulated, I could see players blaming one another, tuning out coaches they no longer respected, concluding that fate was against them, and anesthetizing themselves to the weekly ritual of failure by deciding that all that mattered was finishing the season without getting hurt. If Samuel and Jai's first meeting is any indication, this year promises to be yet another chapter in an ongoing study in the behavior of losers.
And of course, now that Jai has left the restaurant, Melody emerges from the back, bottle in hand, only to discover that there is no one to whom she can deliver our conciliatory gesture.
She heads our way, grimacing and shaking her head.
"I'm so sorry," Melody pleads. "I had a big order that was running late, and then it turns out I had to go back to our storeroom to get your Cristal. And the storeroom was locked, and I had to find the manager, and then he had to find the key, which wasn't where it is supposed to be..."
"Don't worry about it," Cecil says politely. "It happens."
"Do you still want the bottle?" Melody says.
Cecil considers the question. Did the former hardware store manager, however newly enriched, want to blow five hundred dollars on booze he never wanted in the first place?
"Keep it for yourself," I say to Melody. "My treat. I'll even autograph it for you." I take the bottle from her hand and write my name and my phone number, on the label. There is another player at the table, even if he doesn't have a $64 million contract with $30 million guaranteed.
"Give me a call sometime," I say as I hand the bottle back to Melody.
"Nick Gallow," Cecil says, amused. "Going for it on fourth and long."
Melody's cheeks flush-in excitement, I hope.
"Well, thank you," she says, sounding confused but also pleased. "I have always appreciated the kindness of strangers."
"You're welcome," I say. "But isn't the line, 'I have always depended on the kindness of strangers'?"
"I don't depend on it, I'm not that dumb," Melody says, cradling the champagne affectionately. "But I do appreciate it when it comes along."
Afterward, I assure Cecil that I will reimburse him for the champagne-and then to shut him up I pull out my wallet and hand him $500.
We carve through the rest of our meal with quiet efficiency. The conversational highlight is when I ask Samuel about his training regimen.
"Cars," he says, not looking up from his plate. Samuel has cut his steak into tiny pieces. Before he picks up a bite he drags it around in a pool of steak sauce on his plate. With this latest piece he appears to be tracing the letter K.
"Cars?" I ask, confused. "You race them?"
"No," he says tersely, as if my remark was made out of condescension, not confusion. "I push 'em."
"I've seen him do this," Cecil says, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "I keep telling Samuel it could be a great ESPN feature, it's very visual. He pushes a car from one side of a field to another. It's a perfect workout for a lineman. He stays low, it builds leg drive, and it's all short bursts, just like he's in a game."
"How'd you come up with that?" I ask Samuel.
"I dunno," he mumbles. "Just did."
"C'mon, Samuel," Cecil says. "Tell him the story."
Samuel takes a bite of steak and doesn't say anything. So Cecil begins.
"One day, Samuel's mother is out at the Walmart down the road and her car breaks down," Cecil says. "A Chevy Malibu, I believe. So she calls a tow truck. But then it turns out the tow truck costs like a hundred dollars..."
"One-fifteen," Samuel mutters.
"... a hundred and fifteen," Cecil continues, his thick fingers interlaced on the table. "Which is more money than she has to spare. So Samuel pushes the car to the repair place himself. And remember, this is in August, in Alabama. It's sweltering. Samuel's father-he's a long-haul trucker-is away on a job. And the repair place is five miles down the road...."
"Four," Samuel says. He has a new piece of steak on his fork and he is tracing the numeral "4" in the sauce.
"Four miles," Cecil says. "That's still a lot. And how many days does it take you to push it down the highway, all by yourself?"
"Two," Samuel says, changing his drawing pattern to a "2."
"After two days he gets it to the shop, and they get the estimate, and they can't afford that either. So Samuel pushes the car back home. Then football season starts, and Samuel is tossing aside offensive lineman like they are cardboard cutouts."
"I'll have to try it sometime," I say, genuinely impressed. I wonder why Samuel wouldn't want that story told. Maybe he thinks it makes him sound poor and backwoods. Or perhaps he has an instinctive resistance to his uncalculated actions being transformed into myth.
We clear our plates within minutes. At one point I look up from my food and catch Samuel staring at me, and his eyes quickly return to his steak.
I had woken up this morning thinking that I would spend the evening with Jessica, whose husband left tonight for a business trip to Switzerland. But I canceled out on her when I received Cecil's invitation. If I could go back in time, I would stick to my plans and send Cecil a particularly thoughtful e-card.
* * *
After dinner Cecil suggests that we drive to the Sentinels' stadium, operating on the logic that this shitpile of an evening might look more like a sundae if he can somehow place a cherry on top.
"We'll be quick," Cecil assures me when I object. "Just a few minutes at the stadium, then it's back home. Samuel likes to get to bed early."
"As do I, Cecil," I say. "As do I."
I am tucked into the backseat of Cecil's Escalade like a child. Samuel sits mutely in the front passenger seat, staring straight ahead. A smaller man might disappear in his silence, but Samuel looms.
We arrive at the stadium and the parking-lot gates are closed, and there is no guard to whom we can flaunt our insider status. We circumnavigate the dark metal hulk-opened for business in 2002, capacity 74,000-but we can't find a way in.
Cecil pulls over to the curb, quiets the engine, and opens his door. Apparently we are to stand on the sidewalk and genuflect as if we are superfans who have come to the stadium on a pilgrimage. All we needed to complete the picture are some Sentinels banners to wave forlornly in the night.
We disembark from the Escalade and stand three abreast by the chain-link fence, looking up at the stadium, its halves curving inward like the mouth of a Venus flytrap.
"Kind of ugly, isn't it?" Samuel says.
I laugh. "It sure is."
My phone buzzes. I have a text from Jessica, who, after my cancellation, apparently hasn't made any other plans for the evening.
I'm feeling tightness in my upper thighs. I think I need my trainer friend Troy to come by and loosen me up.
Her note is a reference to our first meeting, which took place three years ago at the Jefferson gym. Jessica and her husband stayed there for a month when they were relocating to Philadelphia for his job with the Federal Reserve. She and I were in a spin class together, facing each other on opposite bicycles. After the class we were stretching and she suggested that if we went up to her apartment we would have much more room to splay out. She didn't call me Troy that day, but she has in subsequent reenactments.
"Darn it, I left my phone in the car," Cecil says. "I should get a picture of Samuel at the stadium. Maybe I can send it out on Twitter."
"You tweet now?" I ask.
"I'm managing an account for Samuel," Cecil says. "He needs one. It is 2009, after all." He dashes back to the car for the phone.
As Cecil disappears Samuel kicks at the chain-link fence with his high-tops, setting off a metallic rattle. I am guessing Twitter was not his idea. I am also guessing that this photo op is the reason Cecil, that budding media impresario, wanted to come to the stadium. If only he could find his phone. He searches under the car seats with one loafered foot on the sidewalk and the other in the air.
Samuel stands by the fence, chin jutting out, eyes closed, fingers curled around the links, looking imprisoned.
"Hey, Samuel," I say. "Just take care of your job, you'll be fine. Better than fine. You'll own this city."
Samuel opens his eyes and studies me.
"I know," Samuel says softly. "I will." Whether he means that he would do his job or own Philadelphia, I am not really sure.
Cecil comes back, grinning, holding his phone up like a trophy. I am thinking that I don't need to be in these pictures; Cecil seems to have the same idea. He leads Samuel a few steps up the sidewalk, positioning him to get a better angle of the stadium in the background.
"How about a smile?" Cecil says. And after that request is not immediately granted, Cecil adds, "Think of something happy. Your parents and your sister will be up from Alabama in a couple of days to help you look for a home. That's going to be fun, right?"
Right. While Cecil continues to try to coax joy from his model, I respond to Jessica's earlier text message.
If your thighs are tight, I think Troy has a tool that might come in handy.
I don't like a single one of the words I've just typed, but I don't want to improve the message either. Maybe my halfhearted effort will tamp Jessica's enthusiasm and bring this riff to an early end. Not that I don't enjoy silly double entendres every now and then. It's just that ironically cheesy, two-bit innuendo, when you're not really in the spirit of it, can feel incriminatingly like plain old two-bit innuendo. I am thinking that Troy needs to meet an unhappy accident, and soon.
I hit the Send button.
Then, as if timed to the depression of my finger, I hear a thunderous crack, which is accompanied by a flash. The crack rattles from my ears down to my feet. I drop instinctively into a crouch.
Then another crack, and I hear the screech of a car racing down the street.
I look up and see Cecil stumbling toward me. "Drop, drop!" he shouts to me as he falls against the fence. I lower myself to the ground as a burning smell penetrates my nostrils. I see a car's red taillights already fifty yards gone and speeding away. The car has a bumper sticker with a quarter moon. The moon seemed to be grinning.
My hearing is muffled by the blasts, but I can make out a guttural groan from Cecil, who is on the ground, propped up against the chain-link fence. He is holding his wrist and his yellow shirt is darkening across the bottom. Samuel lays motionless on his back with his head turned to the side and a puddle expanding rapidly around his body. A gush of blood seeps down the sidewalk, over the curb and into the street. The flow is torrential; it is like a main has broken. Samuel's broad mouth is open, as are his eyes, as if he can't believe it either.
I step close, into the river of blood. The warm liquid soaks through my shoes. "Samuel?" I say. His head is tilted more over to the side than it should be, with his cheek resting flush against the sidewalk.
He doesn't answer, and he won't. Samuel's head seems unnaturally angled, I now realize, because it is no longer completely attached to his neck.
I have spent so much of my life training; for this I am completely unprepared.
Copyright © 2015 by Bill Syken
