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Them

Why We Hate Each Other--and How to Heal

Ben Sasse

St. Martin's Griffin

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ISBN10: 1250195020
ISBN13: 9781250195029

Trade Paperback

288 Pages

$17.99

CA$24.50

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Something is wrong. We all know it. American life expectancy is declining for a third straight year. Birth rates are dropping. Nearly half of us think the other political party isn’t just wrong; they’re evil. We’re the richest country in history, but we’ve never been more pessimistic. What’s causing the despair?

In Them, bestselling author and U.S. senator Ben Sasse argues that our crisis isn’t really about politics. It’s that we’re so lonely we can’t see straight—and it bubbles out as anger. Local communities are collapsing. Across the nation, little leagues are disappearing, Rotary clubs are dwindling, and in all likelihood, we don’t know the neighbor two doors down. Work isn’t what we’d hoped: less certainty, few lifelong coworkers, shallow purpose. Stable families and enduring friendships—life’s fundamental pillars—are in statistical freefall.

As traditional tribes of place evaporate, we rally against common enemies so we can feel part of a team. No institutions command widespread public trust, enabling foreign intelligence agencies to use technology to pick the scabs on our toxic divisions. We’re in danger of half of us believing different facts than the other half, and the digital revolution throws gas on the fire.

There’s a path forward—but reversing our decline requires something radical: a rediscovery of real places and human-to-human relationships. Even as technology nudges us to become rootless, Sasse shows how only a recovery of rootedness can heal our lonely souls. America wants you to be happy, but more urgently, America needs you to love your neighbor and connect with your community. Fixing what's wrong with the country depends on it.

Reviews

Praise for Them

“Sasse emphasizes the importance of civil debate, denouncing Fox News and MSNBC, and laments the extreme partisanship that characterizes public life in the Trump era. But ‘the dysfunction in D.C.,’ he says, stems from something ‘deeper than economics,’ and ‘deeper and more meaningful’ than politics. 'What’s wrong with America, then, starts with one uncomfortable word,' he writes. ‘Loneliness.'"The New York Times

“Mr. Sasse’s strongly written analysis of our current existential unease should hit a national nerve.”The Washington Times

"Ben Sasse thinks free speech is in peril in the United States—and he's right. Far too many on both the left and the right are jettisoning America's inheritance and settling instead for the mentality of the mob. Sasse pulls no punches in diagnosing why we're experiencing so much loneliness, how technology is fueling greater division, and what we must do to put free expression and meaningful engagement back at the heart of our democracy."—Kirsten Powers, USA Today

“If you really want to know how to make America great again, get off of Twitter and read this book. Russian dictator Vladimir Putin knows that the moral, cultural, military, and economic power of the United States is far too great to challenge directly. And so, befitting his KGB background, he launches insidious attacks to turn Americans against each other. Unfortunately, as Them illustrates convincingly, this was already been happening on its own. The amazing American-made technology that is connecting the world is also dividing the country of its birth, weaponized by both foreign aggressors and home-grown demagogues to create bubbles of partisan hatred and collective ignorance. America may have lost its way, but Senator Sasse shows that the best way to recover is by bursting these tech bubbles and coming together as human beings, communities, and citizens. Them provides a map back to a place where Americans can once again savor the unique freedoms that unite them instead of the politics that divide them."—Garry Kasparov, author of Winter Is Coming: Why Vladimir Putin and the Enemies of the Free World Must Be Stopped

“Senator Sasse’s Them is a cry from the heartland to remember who we are and what unites us. As a family man, scholar and politician, he takes contemporary America to task for our tribalism, exclusion, reflexive attitudes and outright harshness to one another. At its heart, his is a call to community—the best antidote to those who would divide our society and exploit our darkest angels.”—Gen. Michael Hayden (US Air Force, Ret.), former Director of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), and former Director of the National Security Agency (NSA)

"Sasse presents a compelling, well-supported look at why so many of us no longer have strong community ties and, why, in spite of all the interconnectivity in our constantly expanding, internet-driven world, so many people feel lonely . . . whether readers agree with his political views or not, Them is a crucial contribution to a more open and productive social dialogue."—Booklist

Reviews from Goodreads

BOOK EXCERPTS

Read an Excerpt

Introduction


More Politics Can’t Fix This

If they ever figure out time travel, I have my list ready.

There are certain moments in history I would love to see and hear. Socrates teaching in the marketplace in Athens....

About the author

Ben Sasse

U.S. Senator BEN SASSE is a fifth-generation Nebraskan. He attended public school in Fremont, Neb., and spent his summers working soybean and corn fields. He was recruited to wrestle at Harvard before attending Oxford and later earning a Ph.D. in American history from Yale. Sasse spent five years as president of Midland University back in his hometown. Ben and his wife, Melissa, live in Nebraska but are homeschooling their three children as they commute back and forth to Washington, DC.

Matthew DeBoer